Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

Original poster

moving to the country w teenagers?

52 replies

belhamwalk · 03/02/2018 10:27

hi there, just wondering if anyone moved to the country from london or another big city when the kids were 12 or so..? bad/good/disastrous? any opinions welcome!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/02/2018 10:31

I wouldn't!!! You will spend your life being a taxi service and it's exhausting!!!!

TroubleinDaFamily · 03/02/2018 10:33

We are semi rural and I spend my life in the car.

Don't do it.

Original poster
belhamwalk · 03/02/2018 10:45

ok, that issue aside - what about the effect on them of being city kids and then moving to the country at that age...?

OP posts:
Rubyslippers7780 · 03/02/2018 10:48

Depends on your children. Are you moving to middle of nowhere or a small town? Is there good internet? Are they into whatever is there? Like water sports or mountain biking? Totally depends on what they currently do and what there is where you are going...

italiancortado · 03/02/2018 10:49

My mother did this to me. I was effectively isolated. I could t hang about with mates after school as I HAD to be on the school bus. No public transport meant I literally had to come home and stay home. Occasionally my mum would give me a lift to meet friends but that would be more of a weekend town/lunch plan rather than just hanging out in the evenings. I was cut off from my group of friends and felt like an outsider at school. A year down the line I was a loner.

exexpat · 03/02/2018 10:51

Unless they are into horses or some other more countryside-based activity they will probably hate you for it. 12 or so is when city kids are starting to get more independence, but if you move them to the sticks just as that is in sight (and take them away from existing friendship groups etc) they may understandably be resentful. Much worse than moving when they are little.

RandomMess · 03/02/2018 10:54

Friends won't come out to them due to the hassle it really is very isolating. Fewer options for activities compared to major city.

Original poster
belhamwalk · 03/02/2018 11:02

hmmm. this is what i thought...

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/02/2018 11:10

We moved a 12, 11, 9 year old from one suburb to another miles away that has better public transport, better facilities and we have more £ to spend on their activities. It's really hard still, I do an awful lot of driving after a full day at work th thought of being 5 miles further out where they could walk nowhere with few buses seriously I'd have had a breakdown and they'd be miserable!!

I am on count down for the older 2 to be old enough to use bus late at night etc will buy them bus passes and let them get on with it!

britnay · 04/02/2018 14:05

My family moved to a smallholding when I was 13 and my brother was 16. It was great. We could walk for miles on our own property. I got horses. He got a dirt bike. We had huge garden for the dogs as well.

AlpacaLypse · 04/02/2018 14:10

Public transport if it even exists at all is geared purely to getting children to and from school and pensioners to shops. Unless your children desperately want to do a hobby that really needs countryside space - like horses - don't.

Children at boarding school are far more likely to enjoy being brought up in the countryside, mainly as they're only there part time, and their friends are more likely to be happy to come and visit in holidays.

kittensinmydinner1 · 03/03/2018 15:51

Mine moved out of town to a village at 11,15. & 17 they LOVED IT.
All quite able to take the bus !
Just make sure they are on a bus route...
by secondary school they do clubs / sports there. and just get later bus home.
There friends all come round. No problem. Lots of space and lots to do in town if they fancy it.

Utrecht · 03/03/2018 15:54

I wouldn't. They'll have fewer choices about their social groups or activities and you'll spend hours driving them about. Yes, they can take the bus; infrastructure outside cities can be astonishingly poor, though. Smaller town in a rural county, yes; isolated village, no way.

Utrecht · 03/03/2018 15:56

Also this is a hideous generalisation but as a secondary teacher in a rural county, the villages are where the drugs are.

RandomMess · 03/03/2018 16:33

I agree @Utrecht from my friends it seems like alcohol, sex and drugs were pretty much the only past times of the majority of teens!

DullAndOld · 03/03/2018 16:35

honestly don't do it.
I took my kids from ..a busy city on the south coast to outside a small town in West Wales, at the beginning of secondary.
Since then I have spent several years as a taxi driver, and the children have run off to England...
The local FE college is a joke and doesn't even do A levels.
Now I sit on my own wondering what the fuck happened to my family.

kittensinmydinner1 · 04/03/2018 09:26

Unbelievable blinkered stereotypical view of 'restricted' country life.
Life of a 15 yr old this week.
Monday - Badminton after school
(Bus home)
Tuesday- Duke of Edinburgh charity activity. Bus Home
Wednesday- Home due to snow. Five local friends came round to go sledging. Then back to ours. 3 stayed for a revision/sleepover as school closed next day.
Thursday- revision . No school . Friends home mid morning. Buses running.
Friday - More revision then into town for a hair cut (I took her) before making her way to friends house for 'girls night ' by bus. Where she spent the night. Picked up by friends mum the next day.
Saturday- returned home. Went to work 12-4 earned £25 at Pub across the road. Waitressing. Early night as tired from sleepover .
Sunday. Wake up at 10:30. Work at 12-4 will earn another £25. Revision. Supper- sleep.

I think you are all suffering from a massive lack of imagination in your urban-centric lives.
Contrary to the horror stories on this thread she is neither lonely nor feeling the need to inject heroin into her eyeballs through sheer boredom of being 'trapped in the country.' Even though she is currently an 'only' child due to the others all being at Uni.

In the summer she rides, swims (a lot more country houses have pools than town houses) and gets on the bus with her mates and goes to local town or maybe somewhere like Brighton.

Our work life balance is fantastic. I work in London which takes exactly 55 minutes on the train. We have 4 farm shops within 1 mile with fantastic quality food.
Views to die for. Loads of space. No neighbours so teenagers can play music as loud as they like (once I've left the house) .
Huge space for parties (Done a 21st , 3x 18ths and a 16th) and no 'noise' issue . Which means ours is the preferred venue for gatherings.

If you are thinking of moving to the country with children you obviously can't move somewhere completely off the beaten track that teenagers can't get themselves to and from on public transport. Otherwise you WILL be a taxi service - however I would expect the average intelligent adult has the ability to work that out before you moved somewhere.

DullAndOld · 04/03/2018 09:28

snippy much kittens?

Sorry but the countryside is dire for teens, especially newbies, even if they do play badminton after school.

DullAndOld · 04/03/2018 09:29

oh! I see you don't really live in 'the country' as you can get to London is less than an hour. that's a bit different.

twinone · 04/03/2018 09:34

We moved with a 13 and 9 year old.
It has been great so far, 3 years in.
Both have become quite independent, catching busses to see friend's and going to the next big city.
We spend more time as a family as they can't just up and go out on a whim to meet friends, it has to be organised.
We spend a great deal of time outside, this last week has been challenging but summer more than makes up for the inconvenience of snow.

Frazzled2207 · 04/03/2018 09:43

I grew up in a village with limited public transport.
I didn't know any different at the time but my parents spent loads of time and money taxiing me to and fro, if it wasn't for that it would have been very isolating. My dad always told me that it wasn't my fault they had chosen to live where they did.

So I think ok if you're ok to lots of ferrying or paying for taxis. And picking up very late when they're older (my dad used to pick me up at 1am most Saturday nights! bless him)

HeadDreamer · 04/03/2018 09:50

Agree with others but under an hour to London isn’t the country.

DH grew up in the country but in NZ. He said the same @Utrecht. Sex drugs and alcohol down at the farms. And kids in NZ starts driving at 15 back when we were teens. There is still nothing to do with a car.

RandomMess · 04/03/2018 10:22

@twinone your DC were 10 and 6 when you moved, it is different to moving when they are 12+ and will have to change secondary schools etc.

twinone · 04/03/2018 10:35

@randommess, it clearly says my dc were 13 and 9 Confused

RandomMess · 04/03/2018 10:36

@twinone GrinI read your post twice regarding their ages and STILL misread it!!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread