Is it too late to make friends and build a community

[Secondishspring]

I'm late 50's and there's a possibility that I may be able to retire in about a years time.
I realise that I'm lucky to be in this position but in many ways Ive left myself in a vulnerable position.
I've always needed to work full time in an intense role to support my DC's and I've been happy to do that but in between the job and looking after them I've had very little time to build up my own friendship group or support network.
I'm a bit of an introvert too and in lots of ways my work colleagues have been my support network and social life rolled into one.
I'm really aware that when I stop work that will all go and I wonder if I've left it too late to make new friends? I'm annoyed with myself that I only seem to have realised all of this now .

Have a think about what you might enjoy when you’ve got the time to do it. Volunteering? Campaigning? Classes of any kind? All potential ways to meet new friends.

Get a dog.
A whole new world of friendships will suddenly become available.
Well, that’s what’s happened to me!

All it takes to start a friendship is to say “hello” is my mantra. (Because I know too well it’s hard to make new friends and thus make yourself a bit vulnerable) But you have to meet people to be able to say it to them, they won’t come knocking on your front door. So get out and join clubs/activities/groups/ and start saying “hello” and see where the conversations take you. @EmpressaurusKitty has given some good suggestions. It’s never too late to make new friends.

Accept some people will like your company and others won’t.

It is all pretty organic really. Just got to keep getting yourself out and about engaging with other human beings.

Thank you for the quick replies! I actually started writing the post yesterday but then didn't send because I thought there might be some judgement about how I'd managed to get this far through life without managing to build up a long term network.
Over the years I've met loads of lovely people and had close friendships but because of various moves and the work situation many have become long distance and we now really just keep in touch on social media.
Thank you for all the suggestions - I think I probably just needed a confidence boost and pep talk.

When I turned 50, having read all the weightlifting threads on here, I joined my local gym, signed up with one of the personal trainers who wrote me a workout plan, & started going to some of the classes.

I’d massively recommend doing something like that if you can. Not just for meeting people but for health & strength, & I’ve found that lifting weights has given me a confidence boost too.

DM became quite isolated after being a carer for my DF, she joined the University of the Third Age (U3A), she’s got a better social life than me now . There are different groups for different interests and she does all sorts. I know you said you are a bit of an introvert but sometimes you have to put yourself in a situation to start building relationships. The walking groups are usually good as people move between groups chatting.

I think you're all right and that I'm going to need to push myself out of my comfort zone - but it's good to know that if I do there's still time to meet new people and build new bonds.

There is a really good Facebook group called Make New Friends or similar, there is Meet Up ect. There is digital nomads and women only communities that live together for a month or so. Lots of ideas. Do dome reserch them never look back!

Thank you - will look them up

DM moved to a different part of the country in her late 50s and then late 70s. Both times she has built a new network of friends via:

Walking her dogs
U3A
Volunteering in the local charity shop
Volunteering at primary school
St Vincent de Paul society at church
Volunteering in the library
Rambling club
Tai Chi

.... posted too soon.

However, DM would not be described as introvert. Not blatantly extrovert, but socially confident and happy to be the "new girl" by herself.

I’ve just remembered that one of my aunts is very keen on the National Women’s Register. She’s in her 70s so I’m not sure what the age range is like, but it could be worth a look.

I think retirement is an ideal time to make new friends. Lots of people with free time on their hands wanting to make new connections.

Have you considered going part time, OP?

Definitely not too late. It's really easy to overestimate what other people are managing to do.

Another vote for u3a and also for volunteering BUT I'd say don't necessarily throw yourself into everything at once! Adjust to your new life, work out where the like-minded people hang out. You might want time to go and see your old friends as well.

Until you are 60 you’re eligible for a Government Postgraduate Loan for a Master’s or PhD - if you don’t have one already.

Best use of your time and energy and brain - and the very best way to make meaningful new connections with likeminded people. Particularly if you choose a course that requires you to work collaboratively or as part of a team.

I don’t say you’ll make friends for life, but if you’re lucky you’ll find a new community, which you can broaden through succeeding years.

Recently listened to the Mel Robbins podcast on friendships which is worth a listen.

She said friendships arise from proximity, timing and energy so basically seeing the same people regularly and putting effort in to get to know them.

I'm 50s pt and I find my community through fitness classes, book club, tennis club, running (I volunteer at park run). I have also signed up for a women's cricket club having never played before - just got to try a variety of things and see what sticks.

I live in an area where lots of people move to when they retire. They soon seem to make friends and become part of the community. WI, YCWA, volunteering ( library, charity shops, schools, in bloom, community fridge, environment groups, local museums, community transport, parish/town councils, community centres, village halls list is endless) and people do chat in the street to people they don’t know, soon they do know them!

Once you retire you can make friends but you need to be willing to join local groups, talk to people and potentially be rejected too. There’s lots of free and paid for activities for older people eg here there’s weekly health walks (free), dance classes in various genres, older fitness classes, cooking, gardening and other hobby groups, clubs like rotary, mothers union etc with monthly meetings, speakers etc, drops in, volunteer opportunities abound etc. you might need to try a few of find your tribe

You need to join the clubs or activities in your community that all the other retired people in your area go to.
There’s a couple of choirs near me that are very popular.

Sign up for classes to learn a new hobby or skill.
Volunteering.

Does your workplace offer a phased retirement where you gradually reduce your working days over last 3 months to ease yourself gradually into retirement?

And btw my dh is in this position, I’ve signed him up for mens shed and volunteering at the nature reserve, one inside and one is outside and uses energy and both practical where he’s retiring next month from a stressful sedentary job. He’s signed up himself to be a bloodbiker but thats solitary and you need a “big bike” licence

Volunteering and exercise classes are how I meet new people. Also I have recently joined a new community choir. All of these seem to be full of late-working / younger-retired people, I made friends with parents of my DCs friends for years but it is really refreshing meeting people purely based on shared interests instead.

It's interesting reading this as I'm going to be in the same boat but younger than you and unfortunately disabled (so medically retired but on a very low pension, think £4000 a year). I hope to get some ideas here.

You can make new friends at any time of life. Have a think about what you enjoy doing and take it from there. Volunteering has made me loads of friends. In our area volunteering opportunities include…
Helping at the following -
dog rescue centre
litter picking group
food bank
local common maintenance group
canal trust
park run
cubs/brownies
youth club
community cafe
repair cafe
day centre cooking meals for the elderly
running the civic centre (they put shows on etc)
Or you can join a walking group, art club, book club…the possibilities are endless.

My mum joined a church when she retired and now has a huge network of friends. She's very busy!
My aunt joined the WI and some other learning group for older people (can't remember what it's called) and she also made lots of friends.