Is it too late to make friends and build a community

[Secondishspring]

I'm late 50's and there's a possibility that I may be able to retire in about a years time.
I realise that I'm lucky to be in this position but in many ways Ive left myself in a vulnerable position.
I've always needed to work full time in an intense role to support my DC's and I've been happy to do that but in between the job and looking after them I've had very little time to build up my own friendship group or support network.
I'm a bit of an introvert too and in lots of ways my work colleagues have been my support network and social life rolled into one.
I'm really aware that when I stop work that will all go and I wonder if I've left it too late to make new friends? I'm annoyed with myself that I only seem to have realised all of this now .

Thinking about it, almost all the friends I’ve made over the past 10 years have been through feminist campaigning.

I'll be in same boat OP. My dmil and ddad have both made lovely new friendships in their 80s.

I love reading these positive stories but I feel sad too because I can see how physical disability can make or break the process of getting out in the world and meeting people. I often have severe fatigue by the evening for example, which is when most people my age are free to socialise. Most people probably imagine a retirement like many of our parents have - in good health with enough money to have a good life. The reality will be so different for many people under 60.

There are a lot of activities going on in the daytime where I live @Jabtastic all sorts of volunteer organisations and other interest groups, I often see things advertised and wish I could go but can't because I'm still working. I hope you will be able to find things that work for you. My parents did a lot of U3A groups when they retired, all sorts of interests catered for and those meetings were daytime ones. There are also crafting groups where I live, people get together and knit or crochet or whatever. Then there are volunteering opportunities of all sorts and there is a club at our local sports centre which runs all sorts of daytime activities for over 50s which caters for people with disabilities or age related conditions.

Good luck op, lots of great suggestions here.

Thank you so much for all of these messages and the suggestions. They've given me a new perspective on it all.
To the posters with health challenges - I hope you find your own ways forward too

A few years ago I realised I had let a lot of friendships drift and that I needed to re/build these and new friendships.

I made an effort to meet up with old friends and joined a couple of hobby groups and things really started to improve.

Im still working but will retire in the next 5 years. I am already thinking about what I can do to ensure I have enough social contact day to day to stop me being lonely.

it’s never too late to make new friends

I'm retired / carer for my adult daughter. I realised during lockdown that I had been doing loads of stuff because I thought I should. Lockdown gave me the chance to reassess and work out what I did and didn't enjoy.

And I like being home, being with my dogs, walking my dogs in the woods, going swimming, doing tai chi, reading, baking, jigsaws..I don't actually like socialising.

My dad was the same.

Anyway I know I'm unusual but it is worth thinking about what you really value and what will work for you.

Yes, I'd also recommend the u3a - there are over 1000 all over the country so there'll almost certainly be one near you. We moved to a different part of the country when we retired where we knew no-one, but if you get involved with something like this then you'll soon get to know people.
u3a - Find your local u3a

The U3A definitely sounds like something I'd be interested in. Thanks again for all the replies on this thread - it's given me lots of food for thought.

Good luck, @Secondishspring!

Thank you :-)

Hobbies good as they get you out. I met two lovely ladies through walking we still do coffee catchups. My friend joined a drama group she always out lol. I realised if I dont make effort the weeks are long. Im 52

I think lots of people don’t have a solid support and friendship network OP. It doesn’t define you. Good luck developing yours.

I was in a similar position when I retired 18 months ago. I worked 50 miles from home so was out of my home area from 7-7 and hardly knew anyone locally.
Once I retired, I found a wealth of activities from yoga/dance/fitness groups and craft/knit & natter, to voluntary groups that always needed extra support. These things run in the daytime and I was always at work.
I could fill all day every day if I wanted to!
Good luck

I’m in a local ladies walking group and it’s brilliant. We do 3 walks a week with drinks after one evening walk, and a country pub lunch or garden centre cream teas on Saturday. We also do other things, Afternoon tea in London, theatre trips, plus many more things. Many of the ladies are retired, but quite a few including myself working. It’s a great way to make new friends.

Thank you for starting this thread @Secondishspring I hope you manage to make some lovely new friends. I am finding the advice very helpful myself. I'm younger than you (late 30s) but I have very little family (I am an only child and have no children) so I worry a lot about being lonely in later life.

Thank you for the helpful ideas everyone.

I'm glad you've found it helpful @Strawberriesandpears.
I'm grateful for all the thoughts and ideas too.

A retired friend joined a Spa Hotel and met friends there where they swim, yoga, Pilates, Zumba, sauna, jacuzzi, drink coffee and meet outside of the Hotel for meals, trips to London, etc