What do introvert workaholic men do in retirement?

[Covidasaurus]

My DH could retire in five years but I am terrified of him becoming totally insular and not leaving the sofa and having no interests.

He’s always been a workaholic and is also very shy. He has a small number of friends but sees them rarely. He has no hobbies.

What on earth do such men do at retirement? He has no ideas other than watching tv. I’m worried I’m going to suddenly be married to my grandpa.

My FIL and father have both been a bit like this. Both were in the STEM world so have continued to pursue their interests from home, doing online courses, reading. I think my FIL is trying some writing and my father has done a bit of tutoring of family members during their exam years.

They potter - diy and gardening. They socialise when accompanying their wives. But neither have been interested in establishing new acquaintances through new hobbies or volunteering. It's just the way they are. It's quite infuriating for their wives who, I think, would find it difficult to have them at home all the time.

I can see my DH being like this even though he is not an introvert and has a very sociable job. He just likes pottering around at home. If that's the case I think I'll encourage him to build a cabin in the garden where he can potter.

Glad to find this thread. Am near enough in same position as the OP.
Some interesting replies on this thread.
Suspect my husband may do the same as @Burnthurst187, and end up doing a part or another full time job.
The difference between us and the op, is that mu DH as said that in no uncertain terms is he planning to sit on sofa for the rest of his days.

I do wonder, looking at another retirement thread, whether life will throw us 1 or more curve balls, either healthwise or some other way. I am a person who likes to plan, but for a few years now, I havent been able so see either where we are going, or where we will be led. The rest of my life went as planned, but looking at retirement has been a blank canvas for quite some time already.

Working in retail is bloody hard work and not for the faint hearted,

They potter and get grumpy, thinks no-one wants to see them, won't make the effort to see others, won't do anything new socially to meet anyone new, complains about all the jobs needing done in the house (this from a previously ardent DIY-er with a fully-stocked workshop baffles me!). And expects me to do the same, ie go nowhere, see no-one.

Or at least, mine does

@Covidasaurus -- why do you expect him to retire? why would he?

Pick one of:

he will Watch TV until he meets a tragic end in a freak accident with a comfy cushion held over his face
OR
he will discover a committee/hobby/worthy cause/political affiliation/sport and make that his new Job until he dies in a duel with a rival/opponent
OR
he will take up one of your 'jobs' (gardening, cooking, diy) and make that into his new Career and drive you nuts doing it Better Than You and Buying Important Equipment until you get a new patio and he mysteriously disappears

Only 5 years? I'd start stocking up on the gin...

Purplewithred love it!

Gardening, growing fruit and veg, foraging, jam/bread making, bee keeping, dark skies volunteer, running IT classes for older people, getting a dog, jigsaws.

My mother made my father do another degree.

Which might work well for a workaholic

DH will be out all day birdwatching! It’s his idea of bliss! He goes practically every afternoon, as he is self employed and wfh due to Covid. In fact, he is out looking for owls right now!

Neighbourhood watch.

Most people keep working in some form or other. My dad retired 20 years ago. He was a total workaholic and went from 60 hour weeks as a company director to nothing. A few months later he had a contract to do a piece of work for a few months and then another. He's taught himself to cook by watching Rick Stein, James Martin and the Hairy Bikers. He looks for DIY and gardening projects at his own house and mine. Oh and he got a new girlfriend, which also kept him busy!

I'd encourage the part time job.
If that's what he's interested in, it'll stop him festering in front of the TV.

My DM found hobbies for my DF before she murdered him to death.

He drove the Readibus, got an allotment and volunteered on some engineering project. He loved all of these but found none of them by himself.

Think my OH plans to tinker about in his garden shed making stuff which is fine with me as he will be out of the way.

My stepdad is like this. He owned a freight company and worked 7 days a week. Sold the company, lasted a few months before he found himself another job in the same industry. Did another 6 years of work before retiring again.

Now he golfs a few times a week, they got a dog for the first time ever and he walks the dog. He goes out for a coffee every morning. All spare time after that, he plays the stock market. Reads about different stocks, watches them all day, participates in various groups and forums for it I think. He's done really well so it's been a good hobby.

Get a dog
allotment
Volunteer somewhere
Travel
potter about

Neither of us work now and with lockdown the options for doing something else was limited. Been together for 30+ years and found it tough to find things to talk about other than trivia. Strangely, sitting together not trying to make conversation seems fine, we're fine with each others company.

Mine learnt to cook. He's very good but the TV programs are boring sometimes, James Martin etc. He also does a lot of fishing

That’s why my Dad who’s 74 is still working

Watching this with interest. My dad became completely reclusive and made my mum’s life a misery because she refused to move abroad as she had her friends and family in the UK. Unfortunately she died first and we had 8 years of him at a distance refusing to join anything or do any hobbies, falling out with the neighbours, refusing to answer the phone for weeks and taking himself off on trips on his own armed with only a couple of pairs of pants without telling us where in the world he was. He died suddenly at home and unfortunately he had been dead for a while before we thought ‘no, this has gone on for long enough’ and called the police. It was horrendous.

I am determined that DH will not be like that, but I can see him spending hours in front of the TV or firing endless stinky letters of complaint off to companies he believes have done him wrong. I have warned him he must find something to keep himself occupied so that he doesn’t turn into my father.

My father in law got heavily involved with the running of the professional body he had been a member of during his working years. It kept him extremely busy for 30 years after retirement. Sadly, he died as a result of an accident or he would probably still be doing it.

Probus?
It’s the only thing stopping my mother from killing sdad, she came pretty close during Lockdown though and did send him to his room regularly

My FIL retired v early (early 50s) as he got a good package to go as part of a corporate restructure. To start with, he carried on his "corporate" hobbies (he worked in banking); golf, rotary, did some accounts for people on the side, etc. So while it was a bit of an adjustment, MIL didn't mind him not being at work too much.

Now he is gettig older, he has reduced these hobbies dramatically and covid has been the final nail in the coffin. He sits in his chair watching sport on TV and reading the paper (which he gets delivered now so not even a walk). All day. Everyday. MIL is ready to divorce him and they have been married 50+ years.

Is there anything in his local U3A group that might interest him?