Hi, I’m 45.
3 days ago I returned back from a holiday to Turkey. I went with my 67 year old mother whom I love dearly.
unfortunately I was sexually assaulted while on holiday. I wasn’t raped, however I was penetrated with his fingers.
At first I didn’t want to tell my mother because I didn’t want to upset her. However I finally did tell her. She encouraged me to involve police. I was in such a state as nothing like this has ever happened to me.
I involved police, who arrested the man. We spent a day giving statements & I had to be examined at the hospital.
The hotel manager was absolutely furious that we had informed police & the FCDO. We moved hotels after this. ( The attack was carried out by an employee of the hotel)
Whilst we were in Turkey, my mother was supportive.
I have two sisters. One is 3 years older than me , the other 14 years younger than me.
The youngest has always been favoured, she admits this herself. I thought I was extremely close to both of them.
when my big sister heard of the attack, her reply was, what do you expect visiting such countries?……. I’m astounded by her lack of compassion.
My little sister was extremely supportive until the last night.
On the last night I broke, it’s all a bit of a blur because I had a really bad panic attack. I couldn’t even speak. Anyway my mother went out to buy presents alone. My little sister was extremely annoyed at me for letting my mother go alone. I thought she would be a 100% safe as it was light & a really busy pedestrianised shopping area. The police station was there also & we had been there the night before. It turns out that apparently my mother didn’t feel safe. I don’t know if this is because of my little sister’s influence as she really is golden child & my mother will stand by her opinions no matter what.
Regardless of this i can’t begin to tell you the guilt I feel because my mother said she didn’t feel safe.
Since coming back home I’m a total mess over what’s happened & my sisters comment. I haven’t left my room, spoken to friends ect. I have an amazing 23 year old daughter however I don’t want to put all this on her.
Yesterday I txt my mother in the morning, “ Please help me Mam, I’m not coping “ I didn’t have a reply until around 8 in the evening. In that she was telling me I just need to let things go.
I’m astonished by her being like this to me, as I’m the one who cares about everyone & will do anything so there aren’t arguments. My big sister resents my mother because my little sister is treated so differently. I mean my mother see’s her daily, constantly rings her ect.
Am I right to be upset because my mother hasn’t bothered to check on me whatsoever despite me asking please help me ?
I only wanted someone to talk too. My mother isn’t an old 66 year old either, she drives, babysits. Travels to Zurich alone to visit my big sister, goes shopping on her own ect. I live 5 mins by car from her.
I would really value people’s advice because I’m thinking am I better off with no involvement or minimal contact now because I just feel so letdown & that’s without trying to come to terms with the assault. I did speak to a national helpline today.
I just thought my mother would care & be there for me as she knows the impact this has had on me. I feel a rubbish/ pathetic human as i can’t just let it go as my mother wants me too right now, god knows I wish I could. It’s only been 8 days since it happened to me.