Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Things just got a million times worse for littlecritter

31 replies

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 12:34

Found a lump in my breast this morning. Been to the doctor and she referred me there and then to the breast clinic.

OP posts:

loopyloops · 09/07/2010 12:37

Oh goodness, you really are having a tough time.
A lot of the time lumps are nothing, so (hard, I know) don't panic just yet. When is your appointment?
Keeping my fingers crossed for you. xxx

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 12:42

They are going to phone with an appointment "very soon". I've got big boobs but I've lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks and I just felt it this morning, about the size of a walnut. Don't think I'd have noticed if I hadn't lost so much weight as my boobs were 30HH until a few weeks ago.

I'm sort of frightened but it also feels surreal.

OP posts:

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 12:46

I'm afraid the first thing I did when I came out of the Dr's was phone XP and we met up. I just needed someone to talk to. I even let him feel the lump! Well, I have known him for 14 years. He's going to come round later and he's offered to come to the hospital appointment with me.

OP posts:

loopyloops · 09/07/2010 12:47

Just looked at some stats for you and: "It is natural to be concerned if you have found a lump in your breast. But 80% of all breast lumps are benign, which means no cancer is present."

So try not to panic. xxx

loopyloops · 09/07/2010 12:48

That's perfectly natural, but remember he might not be the best person right now, try and call a couple of friends to keep you occupied.

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 13:04

I haven't told anyone that we've split up yet. I can't face the looks of disbelief/horror/sympathy. It feels too private at the moment. If I add this into the equation everyone will hate him even more. He's my best friend.

OP posts:

loopyloops · 09/07/2010 15:01

Oh love, perhaps now is the time to let one or two close friends know what is going on? You'll need their support for both things. Please?

MarineIguana · 09/07/2010 15:04

I don't know the history but I don't think it's wrong to let him be supportive - a supportive ex is better than a totally unfeeling ex.

Wishing you good luck for the referral - I have had several scary breast lumps checked out and they have been OK.

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 15:29

The background is that I kicked XP out 7 days ago when I found out he'd been having an affair. Prior to that I had sensed problems and he had admitted that he "loves me but he's not in love with me".

I still love him but I don't think I want him back. Well, part of me does but I know it will never work because he doesn't love me enough an I can't forgive what he's done, not that he's asking me to.

I was being so strong until today.

OP posts:

armbow · 09/07/2010 15:33

littlecritter
just seen this - try and stay optimistic, chances are it will be fine.

thinking of you xxxx

LittleMissHissyFit · 09/07/2010 15:34

fingers crossed it will be benign. thinking of you LC.

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 16:13

I know that statistically speaking it probably will be fine. But what if it isn't? XP fucks off because he's having an affair with a married woman and I'm left to battle cancer? I need a positive spin to put on this because I hate, hate, hate feeling like a victim.

OP posts:

Ezma · 09/07/2010 16:51

You're not a victim lc, you are and have been incredibly strong. Having said that, it might be the time to share your situation with a couple of your closest friends. It is the hardest thing ever to do that and it took me nearly two weeks to tell even some of my closest friends that I'd split up with ex H. Will be thinking of you over the weekend and sending positive vibes, I'm sure it will all be alright.

minibmw2010 · 09/07/2010 16:52

The first thing is to stop thinking like one .. I know that's hard, but until you actually hear that Dr. say those horrible words, then you don't have it ... try to concentrate on your new baby. It is natural to have lumps when you have just had a baby, lots of hormones, etc.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 09/07/2010 16:57

Not much to say other than when I had a problem with my breast, the doctor examined me looked all worried and declared that my breast was "very lumpy" I was sent to the breast clinic straight away. Thankfully it turned out to be fine, hopefully the same will happen to you.
As for phoning your ex. Perfectly understandable considering how long you've been together and the short time you have been seperated.

Hope all goes well at the clinic and as someone else said, maybe you should think about telling one or two of your friends about the break-up?

cherrylips · 09/07/2010 16:58

I kicked my dh out one Sunday just gone. It has been hard telling people. But you do need to tell a couple of friends about your situation and what has happened. Then they can support you and you can lean on them.

I'm glad your xp is being supportive. But get support form other people too. And tell them that you have found out about an affair and that you have split up for the foreseeable future. Just grimace through the looks of horror and sympathy. I am too!!!!!!

Have you got kids?

waitingforbedtime · 09/07/2010 16:58

Dont panic, its routine to be seen within 2 weeks at the breast clinic. I have been referred twice for lumps, both benign.

They'll do an ultrasound or a mammogram as well as the doc having a look at you. I only had the ultrasound as Im under the age limit for the mammogram (think its either 30 or 35). If they want further info they may do a needle biopsy.

Good luck

waitingforbedtime · 09/07/2010 17:00

Sorry I meant to say ANY breast lump is seen at the breast clinic.

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 17:05

Thanks everyone. The lump is large, painless but very mobile so I am trying to convince myself it will all be ok.

In some ways it's put the problems with XP into perspective. It's given me something REALLY serious to worry about!

OP posts:

lazarusb · 09/07/2010 18:02

Sending you hugs and best wishes. Hopefully your lump will not be worst case scenario, however, I do think you should get some extra support as well as your ex. You are not a victim, you are strong and you will deal with this. Put yourself first. Good luck x

SolidGoldBrass · 09/07/2010 21:34

Large painless and mobile lump sounds like a fibroadenoma - sometimes called a 'breast mouse' - it's harmless.
Best of luck.

Original poster

littlecritter · 09/07/2010 23:17

Thanks everyone. What a day, what a week. I'm going to try and put this to the back of my mind until I get an appointment because otherwise I will go completely mad. I simply haven't got the time or energy to fight cancer right now. It will have to wait for at least another 30 years. I've got too much living to do yet. Thanks all.

OP posts:

hellymelly · 09/07/2010 23:26

I was sent to the breast clinic too,I thought mine was a blocked duct but the GP said he had to refer any woman presenting with a breast lump.The consultant I saw was lovely,did an ultrasound as I am bf,and it showed a small harmless cyst.Very likey you have something harmless and not a tumour,but I know how frightening it is.when will you get seen?

Rindercella · 09/07/2010 23:33

Littlecritter, so sorry you're going through all this shit. The hardest thing at the moment is the not knowing. It is probably nothing, but however much you say that and want to believe it, there's going to be a little voice telling you that there's a possibility it could be cancer.

The thing is, you have been referred and if it is found to be cancer you will somehow find the strength to deal with it. It's a bastard, but you cope and it becomes part of your life.

The sounds of it though is that you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Poor you, what an awful time you are having (haven't seen your other threads, but did see your posts on another thread yesterday).

Saffysmum · 10/07/2010 13:29

Large lump, painless, very moveable - of course you have to have this checked out, but I think it's probably a fybroadenoma - very common, TOTALLY BENIGN. My daughter has one, they're monitoring it in case it gets too big then they'll remove it. Google it - I think you'll be reasurred love.

Flip

1 2