Should I go to this wedding?

[Octavia09]

Sorry if this topic is in the wrong listing.

My family has been invited to a wedding. We have been really looking forward to it. Then an invitaion has arrived where there is a hint which gift to buy: something monetary, vouchers...

My husband and I think it is a very bad taste to ask for money or indicate a gift.
I have found a Wedding Gift Etiquette weddings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Wedding_Gift_Etiquette

"Asking for Gifts

It?s never acceptable to ask for gift. There are no loopholes to this rule. It?s bad form to request a specific gift, and it?s bad form to mention a gift registry on an invitation or special mailing. To review: it?s very bad wedding gift etiquette for the bride-to-be, groom-to-be, and their friends or family to hint for or recommend a gift. "

I now do not want to go there. My husband can decide whether he wants to go. I now have to think which gift to buy. I for sure know that our gift is not going to be monetary but still it will make me wonder whether it is going to be use will go to the bin.

So what do you think guys?

I think gift lists are a bit cheeky, but generally fine if there are gifts to suit all budgets (ie. the cheapest thing isn't a £50 pair of pillowcases). A colleague brought in an invitation she'd received for a wedding the other day and showed me the gift list which they'd set up on a website - they'd basically itemised everything for their honeymoon, from champagne to flights to meals and swimming with fucking dolphins, and helpfully added the cost and "amount needed" (1, 2, 7 etc) to each listing. They apparently "needed" two dolphin swims. Delightful.

I kind of love weddings for their crassness though and the fact I can feel smug that I won't ever go in for any of it for myself.

To be honest i would rather give them the money or buy them something they wanted then go buy something that they don't need and gets thrown away. At least you know they are going to appreciate whatever they get and you aren't wasting your money. I find buying for people really stressful if you have no idea what they like. I don't think its wrong having a wedding gift list as long as you have a range of priced items so people can choose what they can afford.

Oh, what a dilemma wedding lists are. If it was my wedding I would not have a wedding gift list unless I had to, e.g. a compulsory thing to have. I just hope that it will not become fashionable to have birthday gift lists too

I still dont understand why you are so shocked by wedding gift lists. They have been in use since at least the 1970s probably before. You have obviously lived a sheltered life with regards to weddings.

My hubby and I, didn't mention gifts in our invitations at all. Some people asked what we wanted we said we would like some donation towards our honeymoon as we couldn't afford to book it before we got married. In my experience its better to get the happy couple something they actually want. Like has been said before modern couples have everything they need, trinkets and tokens are lovely to keep but we had a fantastic honeymoon thanks to our guests, whether they gave £5 or £500. That was the best wedding gift ever.
Don't be offended at there request just think of it as a helping hand, better not to waste money on something they won't really appreciate.

I've attached links below for what friends of mine have done for their wedding (some had a normal gift list too). The bottom one is an example of how you can donate to charity in someone else's name in celebration of their wedding. Could be a good deed and a quiet way of making your point that you think they're being greedy without actually saying it! (I like the pots and pan set that goes to a family in need for a wedding gift!)

www.thealternativeweddinglist.co.uk/

www.musthavegifts.org/WorldVision/Gi ftCertificateSelection/GiftCertificateList.aspx?OccasionID=8

Plans have changed. We are not going to the wedding but will send a gift anyway.

Two links above did not work. Will try them later.

I hate wedding lists, not my thing at all but I do understand that it's the way things are done now. We received a wedding invitation last year which included a sort code and account number for guests to 'pay your money into'. That went down well.

The ultimate comment on Wedding Lists