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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How often do you get out without the kids compared to dp/dh?

67 replies

charliecat · 17/08/2005 19:07

?

OP posts:
ThePrisoner · 19/08/2005 00:18

I'm not in the marital bed at this precise moment in time ... does that count as going out?

lockets · 19/08/2005 07:24

This reply has been deleted

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juice · 19/08/2005 15:24

i have never got away from dh, dd or house or house related things since dec 2003
he on the other hand has had nights and even 5 days away on holidays with his mates.
the most i get away from dd and dh is going to the bloody shop for normal food shopping which takes me about half hour.
i am starting to get really peed off as i never get me time. dh doesnt seem to understand that i want me time and not us time.
i would love to be pampered for a few hours and get my hair done.

hercules · 19/08/2005 15:28

We both work opposite times so neither really gets out without the kids as one of us has them and the other is at work.

ninah · 19/08/2005 15:37

if I go out without ds I have this odd feeling, as if I've suddenly lost about 2 stone all in one go. Which I have!

morningpaper · 19/08/2005 15:42

Usually on Saturdays DH and I both give each other about 3 hours 'off' so we can do stuff (him gym, me gardening).

It's FAB. Why don't other people do that? It still gives us lots of time for family stuff.

morningpaper · 19/08/2005 15:45

Ooh and DH is taking dd away for the night and tomorrow so I am just staring in the face of exactly 28 fabulous child-free solitary hours... ahhh!

ninah · 19/08/2005 15:47

cos dp has a two hour round journey to get dss, and quite often paperwork as well

greenbean · 19/08/2005 15:52

kids are now teenagers so its a lot easier to go out now but for the first ten years or so we hardly ever went out. Mum was unwilling, babysitter too expensive and dh wouldnt use baby siiting circle.

RnB · 19/08/2005 16:00

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ninah · 19/08/2005 16:02

please please don't call dp/dh looking after the children 'babysitting'!

RnB · 19/08/2005 16:04

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greenbean · 19/08/2005 16:06

bnb you need to pop to the shops on saturday morning and come back at teatime he'll soon get the point.

ninah · 19/08/2005 16:06

yes, I know, my dp has done this too
the going rate is £6 per hour round here! I'd be a millionaire lol
he also just gets up and goes, tho has been a bit better lately Touch Wood

RnB · 19/08/2005 16:12

Message withdrawn

ninah · 19/08/2005 16:14

add it all up and shop in New York, I say

greenbean · 19/08/2005 16:14

I hope it rains tmrw then.

ninah · 19/08/2005 16:17

gb !
have you changed your name or something?

greenbean · 19/08/2005 16:21

no ninah, I'm new to mumsnet. Only just discovered site.

ninah · 19/08/2005 16:22

oh, well welcome! you make me thanks for cheering up a rainy afternoon

greenbean · 19/08/2005 16:25

not raining here but too cold to sunbathe. I work full-time but only term time so its nice to get some free time. i've only got the bathroom left to clean now.

Passionflower · 19/08/2005 21:53

hi all,

here is the best advice. DH's don't do inconsiderateness on purpose, they just don't know any better. They have a tendency to think of the kids as an extension of you, therefore they trust you to do the caring while they just carry on as normal. Our girls are 5, 3 and 18 mts. I found that the best way to re-educate DH was to leave him to look after the girls for a week - I went to see my sister in NY with my mother. DH took a week off work (He usually works ridiculous hours during the week so the girls don't see that much of him) and took over the house and children. DH and the girls had a chance to bond and it improved our relationship no end. We both regard the children as a joint enterprise now. Best wishes all.

Thomcat · 19/08/2005 21:56

DP is out maybe once a week on average. I reckon he goes out at least once a week come to think of it.
Me - maybe once a month, on my own without DP.

Dp says I can go out whenever I want. Not quite as simple as that though.

Thomcat · 19/08/2005 21:58

Nice one passionflower and something I have thought about doing often, just nowhere to go for a week tbh, but I'm looking into arranging taking girlfriends somewhere with me and leaving DP in an unstocked house. Will wait till baby no 2 comes along first though.

colditz · 19/08/2005 22:00

Oh. My. Goodness.

Don't allow it! Just do not allow it!!! For every hour your dp spends alone, insist on that same hour back for yourself!!!

I cannot believe how many of you are treating your dp's social lives as more important that yours!

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