hi all,
here is the best advice. DH's don't do inconsiderateness on purpose, they just don't know any better. They have a tendency to think of the kids as an extension of you, therefore they trust you to do the caring while they just carry on as normal. Our girls are 5, 3 and 18 mts. I found that the best way to re-educate DH was to leave him to look after the girls for a week - I went to see my sister in NY with my mother. DH took a week off work (He usually works ridiculous hours during the week so the girls don't see that much of him) and took over the house and children. DH and the girls had a chance to bond and it improved our relationship no end. We both regard the children as a joint enterprise now. Best wishes all.