Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I want to get married, how can I convince him?? VERY superficial

38 replies

MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 10:58

I always wanted to marry while I was still fairly young. I def. would like to get married before 30 (no specific reason for this).

Also dp is losing his hair and would like to tie the knot whilst he still has hair!

AND I would like at least one more child but would really like to be married for a couple of years before this happens. My dm had an early menopause so would really like to get another before 35 and maybe a third.

He is in no rush whatsoever! but I'd like a fairly long engagement to def. get the venue etc (also I'm so busy with other stuff it takes me an eternity to organise anything)

How can I convince him to propose? if I asked him he'd say no! I have explained all of the above to him but he's just like "yeah ok"

OP posts:
steffee · 17/08/2005 11:43

Um... no idea, but good luck!

compo · 17/08/2005 11:48

could you plan the wedding as a surprise?!! Or give him an ultimatum - 'either we get spliced or I'm off'!!!

ninah · 17/08/2005 11:51

no answers as in the same situation! hope someone comes up with a winning formula

bran · 17/08/2005 12:02

I proposed to my dh, he said "no" the first time, but I tried again when he was very, very drunk and he said "yes". It's worth a go.

Springchicken · 17/08/2005 12:07

Go on about how "when he eventually asks you to marry him" you have already picked the dress of your dreams! this worked for me and DP proposed within about 30 mins of me saying, however, what i didn't know was that he had planned it weeks ago, asked my parents etc !

Needless to say, i'm probably not the best person to take relationship advice from atm.
Good Luck, i hope he gets your hint soon

aloha · 17/08/2005 12:07

Cry?
Actually, this can be effective, because it really does show them that it means a lot to you.

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:08

well I was hoping all the slick MNers would come up with a cunning plan (Other than FF's - get pregnent/tell him your dying plans)

He just so relaxed about everything. Was joking the other day (when I was showing him the engagement ring link on here) that he'd probably just tuck £20 in my pocket and tell me to go and buy a ring! I am currently trying to teach him that the size of the diamond shows how much he loves me unfortunately he's not as stupid as sometimes acts just kidding

OP posts:
Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:09

Oooo crying is a tactic I've not tried (I very rarely cry) he would be scraed.

OP posts:
aloha · 17/08/2005 12:11

Scared is good

aloha · 17/08/2005 12:11

Scared is good

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:33

hmmmm yes scared is good. he might think I'm unbalanced. Or just wanting to get married for the sake of it.

OP posts:
ninah · 17/08/2005 12:37

I've tried crying, blase, and ff's pregnancy plan (but not her dying one so far lol)

ninah · 17/08/2005 12:38

and mainly I do want to 'for the sake of it!'

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:40

oh sod it - yeah, me too!

Kind of.. I would like to finally feel that we are fully committed to each other though... The ring would be a placebo for my simmering insecurity that one day, one day, he might leave me. even though 95% of me is sure he never would!

OP posts:
ninah · 17/08/2005 12:41

Yes, it's kind of the last hurdle, isn't it? I'd love a ring and to say 'my husband' I'd be really proud

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:43

yes Ninah - we are on the same wavelength!

OP posts:
ninah · 17/08/2005 12:44

mmm .. I am 38 tho, so by the time I'm 50 seems realistic lol

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:45

Also dp isn't my dd's father so at the moment I don't actually feel like a real family iykwim

OP posts:
ninah · 17/08/2005 12:52

I understand. Well ds is ours, we also have dss 15 from a prev relationship of dp's. dss and dp have one surname, I have another and ds has a double-b
with another child on the way in December I'd feel a bit more 'consolidated' with a husband!
It's not a major deal. The more I focus on it the less likely it is to happen I think. Kind of hoping he'll surprise me one day. Unless someone can think of anything else ...
Sounds like you've been a bit more dignifed than I, MoH! try the crying?

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 12:57

I'm not obsessed or anything, it would just be nice.

Will try the crying, need a specific thing to trigger it though. Have a wedding in September maybe the day after I could get a bit upset. OR (lightbulb) maybe I could go on about the party and sell it as a fab party!

OP posts:
ninah · 17/08/2005 13:02

I think you should be radiant at the Sept wedding
Take a camera, then start crying silently when you see/print off the photos
Or stand behind the bride and fight to catch the bouquet haha
Be sure to let me know how it goes, we also have a Sept wedding but I don't think the above is so effective with a big bump!
Lunch now, see you later MoH x

BucketCrouch · 17/08/2005 13:07

Do you own a house? Just scare him about having to sell it pay Inheritance Tax when one of you pops.

snafu · 17/08/2005 13:09

Just arrange it all, blindfold him and drive him there

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2005 13:11

lol! I'll sharpen my elbows!

We don't own a house together and he owns a lot of property with his father. I'm petrified about his father dying as he will have to remortgage to pay the inheritence tax!

OP posts:
Nbg · 17/08/2005 13:13

Dh always said he wasn't that bothered about getting married which I was not happy about but I dropped enough hints and when it came to my birthday and he asked what I wanted I said that I wanted a ring. Not a big sparkler just a silver band or something.
Anyway we went out to look for one and he said why don't you just get a proper ring
He ended up getting stung more than he thought for it!

That could be the long way of doing it or I did read in M&B mag, there was one of those mums who did them diary's every month and she set up a suprise wedding. She did absolutly everything on her own and then the day of the wedding she proposed to him!