Off on hoilday with the in laws in a week... could you do it?

[tightwad]

Could you? For 2 weeks?

Fortunately I no longer have in-laws however I do accept that it is totally out of the question to expect my DH to have a holiday with my parents - although they live in a really beautiful part of the country, plenty of room etc but it is just not fair - on him, them or me. I tend to stay with them on my own with DS for a long weekend.

it IS a very scary thought, but it's a means to an end - free accommodation for 2 weeks in Edinburgh in August

I don't know how any of you could contemplate it, let alone do it - you are all saints

No, I couldn't bear it. ILs are fine, really - complete stars compared to many - but no, I just couldn't spend two weeks with them. We're just too different. And I don't think DH could tolerate it now either.

Absolutely no way. I would rather stay at home and eat dry bread for a fortnight.

Mil is rather unpleasant if she doesn't get her own way; usually resorts to slamming the phone down or very sulky silences. Would be unbearable on holiday. Also she likes to spend an hour in the morning doing her make up in the bathroom apparently this time doesn't include a bath or shower.

Johnpeelwasmyhero, I genuinely like spending time with my ILs. MIL is a lovely, friendly, supportive woman who commands great respect I realise this makes me a lucky MNer

I never knew exH's mum - she died before I met him.

But the rest of his family are lovely as well cyteen - so you're not the only lucky MNer.

Perhaps I'm luckier than you though as he's now my ex but my IL's are STILL just as fabulous as they were before

Have done a week before and it was a total disaster - they wouldn't give us any space and MIL is a total drama queen who intervenes in how we are parenting our DDs all the time. Afterwards we said never again BUT they have booked a week away with us this summer as a 'surprise' for us and DH hasn't got the balls to tell them we won't come. We have managed to reduce it to 4 days as term starts and DDs need to be back at school. It will still be poo though

PMSL @staying at home and eating dry bread for a fortnight.

My thoughts exactly.

An hour with the Ils means a week of arguments with Dp afterwards.

So thank you, but no thank you.

I could happily spend a week with MIL (FIL dead) however I would want to know that that wasn't my only holiday iyswim. Funnily enough MIL and I get along better when dh is not there so just me, her and the dcs would absolutely fine. More tensions arise when she and dh together - have never worked out why.

No

I love them to bits, they are genuinely great people, no MIL issues or anything

But being in their company for a week would send me over the edge

And the fact that they think the sun shines out of both of the dd's backsides would grate. BADLY. They believe them to be faultless, it drives me nuts

No I couldn't have done it when I was married, my IL's were OK but very snidey and talk behind everyone's back - they go over what pople have said over and over and turn it into an insult somehow.

So, spare a thought for me tomorrow then spending all day (invited for lunch) with ex mil, and I have now found out that all the family are invited (not exh though). So I won't feel intimidated at all will I?

I was OK with having lunch with just her and my dc but the whole family? I'm just guessing but I'm thinking they think I'm the bad guy in everything.

I don't know what was more annoying, the automatic assumption that we would be spending precious holiday time with the exILs or the fact of spending the time with them and their automatic assumption that everyone wanted to hear exMIL's knee jerk right wing political views ad nauseum and beyond.

And the knowledge that they would spend the next 11 months discussing me and the DCs and how strange I was for wanting to spend a little time on my own instead of chatting with them every afternoon. (Very snidey and inclined to talk behind everyone's back like Dollytwat's ILs.)

we did it this year. was unmitigated disaster. PILs still not talking to me months later.

and there was no 'history' before either. always got along just fine. and had holidayed together before. all fine.

they lulled us into a false sense of security.....

although, i have to say the big upside is now i dont have to worry about figuring them into our yearly holiday plans. we can finally just go where we want as a family

I've done it for a week and, although it was hideous, I would do it again but only if:

The accommodation was spacious
There wasn't an expectation that we'd spend all day every together and we had plenty of opportunities to do different outings.
I didn't have to share a kitchen with mil (memory of fil reverently offering my potatoes to mil for her approval which was not forthcoming still makes me furious)
They babysat once or twice

hhmm, we had a huge house on the beach. 3 lounges, 2 kitchens, everyon with their own bathroom more than one car etc etc etc

the thing with holidaying with family is if it goes wrong, it goes REALLY wrong.

an unlike going on holiday with friends that you subsequently fall out with, you cant just pretend you dont know eachother anymore...

but maybe this is payback for me being smug smugerson about our previously problem free family holidays.

the universe was like, Nnnooooo! the balance must be maintaaaaained

Frik - what on earth happened? Our holiday was disastrous but we were all terribly English about it and when we got home we pretended it had never happened (what happened in Windermere, stayed in Windermere) and we're back to getting on OK now.

No way could I holiday with my inlaws or my mother.

My mother hankers after a big family holiday in a villa abroad - with her in total control of her three children (aged 49, 48 and 43) and their partners. Hence my reluctance, my mother is the ultimate control freak, made worse by the fact that she was a primary school teacher for 40 years and still speaks to us all as if we were 5.

I spend all year accomodating the wishes of family memebers, I am not doing it on my hols!!!!

It is no different than going on holiday with friends-it can be brilliant or a disaster!
With family and friends I only go if we want the same things and I have never had a disaster with either. I have some very good friends that I wouldn't holiday with.
I would check the following points:

Is everyone laid back and not going to try and organise others?
Do you have the same amount of money to spend and are people going to nit pick about whether they had a drink that cost 20p more?
Are the ILs happy to babysit and give you time to yourself?
Do ILs want time to themselves and leave you some time in peace?
Is there plenty of room to get away from each other and also not queue for the bathroom?
Do you have the same attitude to food?
Do you want to do the same things?
Do you get on well at home?

If you have negative responses, to more than one, don't do it.

Have done it and will NEVER EVER do it again.

I still say and think that 11 years since the last time.

it was epic.

and so bad that the details make me easily identifiable in RL.

and i have no desire to worsen current relations!

although, it is soooooo tempting to tell all just so you can gasp in shock and awe at the total annihlation of what was [drum roll, emotive music] the Family Holiday......

No I couldn´t & neither could their son!

No way on this gods green earth could I go away with the inlaws.

DP won't hear a bad word said about them.

if I have more than 2 drinks in a row I'm being told I'm an alcoholic that cant drive for at least 2 days due to being over the limit and my poor children being neglected whilst I sit there and god forbid have a 3rd glass of wine. Because I shouldnt have kids you know if I like a drink

I go on holiday with ILs every year. Through choice. And love it. Even in tiny caravans with limited space.

Wouldn't catch me going on holiday with my family though.

Weeeeel,
We do not have the same attitute to food, but the you chose what you wanna eat in restraunts and buffets so no problem.

the villa is 7 bedrooms, 2 large family rooms n 5 bathrooms.

we will go to the parks in the morning then seperate off till tea tim.

im going to tell them that me n dh are off out for a meal one night and that they can babysit....they never ever do this at home, and as its my 40th cant see them objecting.

Rarely see them at home, when we do its ok. (they live 20 minutes away but are not interested in us nor ds) however becuase we have done all the donkey work for the hoilday they want to come.
Dont mind this cos we would have been doing all the donkey work any way cos we are going.

not a problem. we are quite laid back and just get on with every one, they are the same, so it will be fine.

i hope....