I'm never going to meet anyone, am I?

[BEAUTlFUL]

I need a bit of tough love and any spare hugs you have going.

H left a year ago. Since then I've met one twunt online-dating who just lied, and another one who seemed nice but I think is going the same way.

I've lost tons of weight, have regular beauty nights and look good... But I work from home and have two young kids (7 and 2). I'm 39.

I'm never going to meet anyone, am I?

But you know what I mean... When we have to talk about the friend-of-afriend, we're getting into Legend territory. (Thank you though! I don't mean to sound ungrateful.)

I'm so, so worried that I am just no longer what any man would want. A divorced dad my age would probably want a single 20/late-20something, with no kids. A man years older than me will have teenage kids and not fancy going back to the toddler stage.

Who is going to want me and my lovely boys??

Beautiful - did you not see my post - our very own MN poster OJ has found a man - and she's sporting a VERY niiiiiiiiiiice ring on her finger these days

Toccatanfudge - I did see that. Thanks! But that's one out of how many????

Well there's only me and Toc about at the minute and we each can name someone, so at the moment it's 100%!!!!

well I don't know - I have to confess I don't often peruse the LP's "finding a nice man" threads.

I'm sure I've seen others.

ANd, it's friend of a friend territory as all the people I know are married or paired off [slight jealous emoticon]

oh - and doesn't Shineon have a lovely BF that she's been seeing quite a while now as well??

When I'm down about being single and nearly 40, I have a saying written down and I make myself look at it.

Here it is:

"Every pan has a lid"

Toc - yes she does!

I think I'm one of those little milk pans that doesn't come with a lid...

hi beautiful! i'm the same age as you and despite being a divorced mum of 3 have met a wonderful man over a year ago
met him online after a series of numpties,i used frd
i was his first online date
so it is possible!!

I don't think every pan needs a lid. Sometimes if the lid is faulty, you try to work around that for a while, by removing the lid with a knife and a tea towel. But it doesn't work, you burn yourself, so you're better off not using a lid at all.

(tiny hijack - Trucker - THAT is word for word, my NEW saying! Might include a bit about annoying lids when the handles falls off too...)

BEAUTlFUL you're hilarious - and one day a deserving man will be lucky enough to persuade you to give up your fabulous single life and throw your lot in with him. But don't sweat it, seriously.

hiya Beautiful,

I just wanted to say I know how you feel and if I might provide a bit of inspiration while I'm here?

I think you just don't meet enough people. I bet you anything you have very little time to go out by yourself - do you go to work or anything? I really think once you meet more people the likelihood of finding someone really nice is going to go way up.

Someone told me that out of every 10 people you meet, on average there's going to be 7 or 8 who are OK (like, friendly enough) and one you can't stand, and one you really click with.
Therefore the more people you meet the more likely you'll find someone really great.

However the more time goes by when you don't meet anyone, the more difficult it is to sustain the belief that you are attractive enough or that there are nice people who will love you. It's called demoralisation!

It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, iyswim. Try to bear that in mind.

Also there may be issues you feel would prevent you being 'loved' and that's true for nearly all of us - that's OK. Don't dwell on it though. You can often work to overcome the minor stuff anyway. (not saying you do have issues, but I know someone who does...)

I've been asked out recently and almost asked out twice more, also recently (talking last few weeks) and it's simply because I have been meeting men more than usual for a specific reason (they came to see something I was selling on ebay!)

so that was encouraging. And now I have someone else interested but am hedging around that as he hasn't left his girlfriend yet.

Maybe I am meeting the wrong types still but at least there are signs of life iyswim.

Don't throw in the towel just yet.

good post Flight

Flight, give me your thoughts...... ? this may sound really jaded and cynical, but this isn't how I feel on the inside...

I think it's like stocks and shares (and this was an analogy which an old Italian boyfriend actually used once!). I know my worth. I don't feel defined by how other people would see me (eg, 40, broke, with baggage, two children and only average looks). So I don't want to 'float' myself by putting myself on to the market! I think I'm a nice person and I've a healthy outlook on life, and I think I'm good humoured and reasonably intelligent, and I think that counts for a lot - I would like to meet a man like me (does that sound conceited?) but I can't make other people see me the way I see me. So I .... don't try. I never have any trouble making female friends btw. So I guess I am quite approachable and confident and I enjoy socialising.

do I have your permission to 'throw in the towel'?? I am almost terrified that I will wake up one day and want to start man hunting? I would no longer be free if that happened to me.

I was at a party last night and was talking to one of my brother's friends who this big Player type. I knew he'd be honest so I asked him if 2 little kids would put most men off and he said Yes, of course. I was . He also confirmed what I'd read in a dating book before, that men would categorise single-mums in the "short-term" category.

He also said that most single-mums sort of put all their baggage out in front of them straight away. Sort of, "Hello, my name is Amy and you don't want me because I have two tiny kids, a twunty ex who comes round all the time and no money. Drink?"

But he is a player so he is telling you how players think. That is not how all blokes think. I just asked DH and his single-at-the-mo and thoroughly decent friend and neither of them say it is off-putting if a woman has kids.

oh that's non-sense - if that's the case how come I've had 2 different dates in the space of just under 2 months??? And I've got 3 young(ish) children and a twunty ex

I've been checking out the man market since march this year, and have probably chatted/given my number to around 6/7 different fellas. Of those, at least 3 of them have definately been in a relationship place. They haven't been bothered by my DD, or problems with the ex, they just wanted to get to know me so looked past the "baggage". It's not gotten to the relationship stage with these guys, but for completely different reasons than DD, and psycho stalker ex. Whatever the player friend says, if someone likes you-and it sounds like there bound to!-why the hell would they be put off by your lovely DCs? I seriously haven't found men even notice you have children- I make a point of mentioning DD and they normally ask how old she is then move on to other points of conversation!

Your fab, why are you doubting these people won't want to know you? Get out there, smile, and let them all know how great you actually are!

BEAUTIFUL - i remember very well the thread where you were thinking of breaking up. Sorry to hear that it didn't work out.

How about joining some sport club like tennis or badminton. Of course try to remain confident and relaxed. As you know, most of us blokes are worth it so enjoy the half full glass that is freedom.