bit rude for a tuesday morning, but oral sex question

[littlebitrude]

I have a lovely new boyfriend. Hes early 30's and was, shall we say a bit of a late starter on the sex front.
Anyway, he confessed that he has never gone down on a woman, but would really like too.

Hes, er, very enthuastic about everything else. seems to have a rather sheltered sex life while im a bit wild.

I dont know if i should belive his confession, and how i feel about it really, or if im disapointed as im not going to get amazing oral sex, not least for a while till he learns what hes doing, or if i should be flattered that hes not done it before but is desperate to do it with me.

and how on earth do i teach him what to do?

wank fodder !!!!

Remember Op could be a hairy-handed trucker

Erics - please don't say that shaving makes sex "nicer" , it may be your personal preference but sex is nice with hair too you know - it feels much "nicer" for me with hair actually and DH hates the shaved look.

i had group sex with a long term partner being involved. There is nothing silly about that at all. Perfectley fine consenting fun.

LTR's come in all different forms. Just because ive had group sex does not mean that ive slept about. Far from it actually. Ive slept with less people than new bf, still single figures. Though ive tried a lot more things.

Being sexually experimental does not automatically make you a slut you know.

I'd consider myself pretty experienced but I didn't consider bumsex de rigeur.

No fetishes or group sex, either.

No offense but group sex is sleeping around, IMO.

'Being sexually experimental does not automatically make you a slut you know. '

Nor does 'sleeping around'. It just makes you a person who's had X number of sexual partners.

'makes it nicer for both of us. '
By which I mean for both of us, it is nicer, without hair. Where did that confuse you?

how is it sleeping around if was the same people? its not.

Okay, 'rude'. Ass-fucking and bondage and group sex is not 'sleeping around', but lots of partners makes you a slut.

And this guy could be lying, too, about having never given oral.

my number of sexual partners is really low. really really low.

what - so doing those things make me a slut?

experimenting within a long term comitted relationship makes me a slut?

wow.

thats a new one.

That's fine. But you seem to think that makes you better than someone who's had a lot.

Whatever.

Let him eat you and get on with it.

The point was, you weren't in LTRs with all the people in the group sex, were you!

"Let him eat you and get on with it."

no - i was in a ltr with one of the people. Who was there and present and it was all fine. We were still in a LTR, group sex did not change that.

What about poly marriages, or cultures where they can have multiple spouces. are they all sluts because of that. NO. Are they all sleeping about because of that. NO. Are they still in committed long term relationships. YES.

ok, backing right away from all the names calling (and you should know, Littlebit, that in some parts of MN slut is not an insult ) and back to OP.

I'd be, on the contrary, really flattered that my partner wants to try new things with me, and give me pleasure, and learn how to make it all wonderful. I think it's particularly nice that he is not self-conscious about the disparity in your sexual experiences (which presumably you've both shared). Sex is about trusting your partner and I can't really see how experimenting can be bad, if you are both into it with a generous, respectful and open mindset.

Also, I was under the impression that all men are crazy about ladies' bits and think there is nothing more beautiful and more kissable (or maybe it's just my DH ). And enthusiasm and stamina are 90% of the job, the rest you can work on together.

Have fun!

expat - i dont think it makes me better. I was just shocked that hes never done that before.

Though its true, i would have rather been more experimental and had less partners, than slept with lots of people.

Not better, just different.

mystic - thats a nice take. and i do agree actually.
Ive shared a bit with him, not everything yet. Mainly because of the reaction to what im getting here. People automatically assume all sorts of things when you start talking about things that might be slightly different, ie group sex.
The fact is that im a nice, normal girl. I dont cheat. i dont lie.i shop at boden I just happen to be very sexually experimental.

fair enough littlebit. And you are perhaps bringing your sexual experimentation approach to your partner, whcih i think is a nice thing. He is probably bringing new things to you in that department, too.

Different couples work in different ways. you might never get to do group sex with this guy, but who knows, he might insist you wear your Boden big button coat (the one with a polka dot lining ) to bed every night. Now that would be some seriously kinky shit

I think many of us (myself included) have trouble understanding what the allure of group sex or bumsex is, but I guess sexuality is a spectrum and we all have our niche in it...

I still think hairy-handed trucker

I'm starting to concur, Any.

i dont want to do those things with him.
i dont expect him to do these things with me.

Those were transient things. Experimental things. Doesnt mean they have to become regular occurances.

Actually i have no desire to participate in group sex at all. That may have change, it may not. I dont think there is allure to some things, some times these things just happen.

My attitude towards sex is that as long as those involved are consenting, and its safe then do what you want. Id rather experience things than not. The human body and mind is an amazing thing to explore.

and yes, the boden coat, theres kinky if ever i saw it!

oh dear - the troll shouts are rather boring arent they.

Why am i a troll?

An articulate, boden-wearing, sex-loving hairy-handed trucker.

I can feel a fantasy coming...

Actually, I am not saying you are a troll

I am saying you are a bloke