How long did it take you to finally have sex after having first baby

[chenge]

ok,,my DD is almost 3mnths,born via c section,after her birth i got infection after infection in my breasts,and the shock of having a new born with no help apart from DH,got PND,all these made my sex drive GO,,its zero,nothing,hubby on the other hand is so understanding and has not forced me or even talked about it,he was at the birth and saw how traumatic it was for me so all he says is when im ready,but lately i've been feeling my spark back,,so am i normal to go that long or i need to do something??

well, don't worry about what everyone else does - this is about you and your DH - so no amount of comparing with others will help. Assuming you have no physical reasons to prevent it, there is no reason why you shouldn't get back in the saddle (so to speak!). If you've lost the urge perhaps a fun night out with your DH will help get your sparkle back - can you get a babysitter for a couple of hours? You might find that will be all you need. Don't worry - you sound as though you're doing really well with your baby and that your DH is a lovely bloke. It is still early days, so give yourself a break. But don't make an issue of it either - the longer you leave it the harder it will be I'm sure it's true that if you don't use it you lose it....)

Completely normal IMHO! I think we tried again at about 4 months, but it was weird and uncomfortable. DS2 is 14 months and I've only started feeling like it's back to how it used to be for the last couple of months.

And although mine were both c-sections, I didn't have any post natal problems, so give yourself a break

We gave it a whirl after two weeks. It didn't hurt, but was reminiscent of throwing a hotdog up the Mall. We never refer to it. For me, it was just a check to make sure that everything still worked. Normal relations weren't resumed for several months.

thanks Makemine and i agree that its about me and hubby ,,i guess i was just curious thats all,by some sort of miracle,,my baby started sleeping very well at two weeks,at 2mnths we put her as a trial thing in her room and she slpet through the night,much better than she did in our room,the PND went away,mainly because DH noticed it first and WORKED very hard with helping me in every way,he was loving,caring and one day i woke up to find that life was wonderful and that there were birds outside my window,so now im doing great and our DD is a star..
whatfresh,,i will give myself a break,but as i mentioned,,i FEEL its coming back,,he is out with the blokes,,so maybe i should put something,,a bit sexy and wait,,,hahaha,,,

about an effin year.

Makemine,,my MIL can babysit anytime,at least for the 6months she is gonna be in the same country with us,,

I can't remember, have just asked DH and he can't remember either. Probably a few months? DS is 10 months now (also a c section that got infected), and we've just ended a 3 month dry spell (lots of illness/tiredness from DS starting nursery). I think the box of 12 condoms we bought after DS was born is still half full. We're just tired all the time and it simply does not occur to me with the frequency it did before. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding as well.

Nothing unusual there OP, as others say, it's between you and your DH.

yes YanknCock,,that too,tired all the time,and my baby is what i call easy,,the thing is im so sensitive with the boobs getting those infections,they used to be my hubby's main area prebaby,and now he adores them,,and he had to massage them through it all,the baby breastfeeding,i just don't find them sexy anymore,,,,,and i have to find another part of my body that will make me get in the mood,,haha

9 months for us, only just got back in the saddle so to speak.

Breastfeeding and stitches have not helped

Why don't they teach discuss more of this stuff in NCT or whatever antenatal classes ?

Two weeks for me and it was awful. My ex frequently pestered/sort of forced me to do it when I didn't want to. It really hurt and he had the nerve to complain that he could feel my stitches and they'd rubbed him. I wanted to wait for a lot longer so no, it's not weird to not have sex for three months after giving birth, especially given your complications.

It seems completely normal to not have sex for a while afterwards and if your husband has been supportive of this then that's great. Just go for it if you want to do it. It'll happen naturally, just relax and enjoy yourself.

2.5 weeks.

The 2.5weeks was after a C section, so no sore undercarriage to worry about

About three months but I think it was too soon. I was really quite drunk (had expressed for our night out!) and it still hurt a lot. I had an episiotomy and the scars still hurt now nearly two years on. For me I felt like it was something I had to do to get it over with, had a traumatic birth and was worried I'd never do it again if I didn't do it soon!

I think anything is within the bounds of normal though!

Stars that's awful!

9 months - pnd and breast feeding so didn't want to be touched, let alone have sex!!!

Well I was bleeding etc for about 10 weeks after c section, and very sore, so I think it was about 5 months before we did, and very few and far between, so unlike before ds was born!
Even now we can go anything from a few days to a few months in between.
It's so lovely that your DH has been so supportive (and so sad that it appears to be somewhat unusual; although maybe it isn't, just that unsupportive DPs are complained about more!) mine was the same, I had PND but wasn't diagnosed until DS was 13 mo, (27mo now) I've recovered well but DP is still so understanding and helps a lot, to make sure I don't spiral again.
I'd say there isn't a set time, it's when you and your DH feel ready (DP was afraid to touch me for 3 months in case he hurt me, and even when we did he kept asking if I was ok he first time!)

withorwithoutyou, I feel almost guilty about posting that because it really isn't awful compared to the things some people on this forum have experienced. He was just very pushy and a bit controlling. I actually put it down to him being thick and young/immature at the time. Pretty certain he wouldn't treat any future girlfriends in the same way. Luckily, I now have a supportive and non-pushy partner and cannot imagine him doing anything like that. Actually, he's so non-pushy and concerned about how I'm feeling that it annoys me at times. I just want a good bit of sex without him wanting to know whether I'm ok and telling me that making sure I'm having a good time is all he wants to do, he doesn't care about himelf. But that's a story for another thread

Thread hijack over

we did it after 2 weeks, but like the other lady that did it that quickly, i had had a planned c/section so nothing "down below" to worry about

but sounds like you had a traumatic time OP so i think its quite normal in those circumstances to wait as long as you have or longer.

your dh sounds lovely btw.

thank you ladies for your wonderful comments,,what puts me off mostly is the breastfeeding,i can't seem to separate my baby feeding,and DD wanting to caress the boobs,,and i love it when he does,its just that,,i think of my baby drinking,then i go,,oh,,i can't do this,,

as for DH,,all i can say is he is wonderful,i have seen so many threads here about how terrible the men in our lives are,and i feel for the ladies involved,coz i truely believe they are hurting,however it would be nice to see some positive threads,about good and great DHs,,
God has blessed me with one,,and im grateful he is my partner and best friend...

awww i dont know what to say re: your breastfeeding as i didnt bf so didnt have that issue, but when you do it, could you maybe, keep a bra on or something to kind of remind him not to touch them? at least till you have finished bf?

2/3 weeks - with a C section. Then not again for a loooong time. I had a read in a book that it was good to get one in early doors when you are before the cummulative exhausation kicks in.

i know, my youngest is one and we only manage it a couple of times a week through sheer exhaustion coz she is teething at the mo and not sleeping! we actually did it a whole lot more in her first few months as she was very "good" in that she slept thru initialy.

Two weeks and burst c-section wound (!) which then got infected (didnt confess tell doc why it had not healed properly ) so didnt do it for about 6 or 8 weeks after that

omg, shell!! ouch!!!! hope all is well now!