Finally told him how i feel now i just feel stupid

[feelstupid]

I finally told my mate that i have feelings for him. Now i just feel like an idiot and should have just kept it to myself. He said he had no idea and i shouldnt worry about it but i cant help think ive probably messed things up with him as a friend.

Is that you?

You were very brave to tell him and it doesn't have to mean things are messed up.

For me it probably does, Why the hell did i think it was a good idea after keeping it quiet for ages and knowing that there was no chance he felt the same

I have had so many what if's so I think you did absolutely the right thing.

would rather it was a what if than be feeling like this. Not that it ever really was. Always knew he just saw me as a mate. Why is everything so bloody complicated

Don't beat yourself up for having feelings and being brave enough to act on them.

You did the right thing. In time you will be able to be mates again, but better to be brave enough to get it out in the open rather than hoping endlessly and getting sulky with him for not realising and all the rest of it.
For now, be nice to yourself, find some good distractions, whatever works for you, whether that's sport, country walks, chocolate, good book, your other mates. This Too Will Pass and you'll come out the other side stronger.

Im pregnant so hormones may play a large part in this. And i supose another reason i knew he wouldnt be interested. Just gonna concentrate on that and my dd. Gonna give up on men cos it just never works out for me.

i know excactly how you feel, i told a friend (well mum i knew from groups and school playground etc) that i really liked her just because i couldnt bear to be near her and her not know how great i thought she was! after i did i had the same feelings like i was gonna have screwed everything up but everything is fine, we went through a rough patch when she got bored of the attention but now things r back to normal (she still drives me crazy though)

it takes some blimin balls so well done!!

Well hes back to talking to me like i never said anything so i supose thats a good thing. He has put a comment on facebook that im assuming is about me but not gonna mention it incase im totally wrong. Which i quite possible

what does it say?

where is the father, no chance of staying with him?

Also I know times have changed, but I would find it proper awkward if I was asked out by a allready pregnant woman.

Just would seem weird and wrong in so many ways

very helpful, aeschylus

lol, ignore me I am a prude

How do you feel this morning?

And if it is you, email me.

Hmm. The fact that you are PG (presumably by someone else) does make a difference to how most blokes react to being propositioned. I remember finding it tricky when I was PG and single - attractive men who one is eyeing up don't tend to engage as (in current society) a visible pregnancy does generally send the message that someone is in a relationship. And if you make it clear that you're single, a lot of blokes think (rightly or wrongly) that you are looking for a substitute father for your baby, and that they might find you attractive but are not ready for fatherhood. They might also wonder about your feelings for the sperm-provider, whether you are 'temporarily' separated, whether the bloke will be hanging around being competiton... whether the sperm provider will actually come round and beat up the new boyfriend.
Now we can all overcome our primitive instincts and often do - it's not at all impossible for a couple to start what turns into a wonderful and lasting relationship even if it begins when she is PG by someone else. So *maybe cut your mate and yourself a little slack, but right now concentrate on being kind to yourself and your bump.
Best of luck.

Hes 1 of my best friends and knows the situation with the twins. The dad isnt interested in the slightest. I didnt actually "ask him out" just told him how i felt. I also said i knew he didnt see me that way.
Im feeling better today knowing its not changed anything. Its also not cos im pregnant that hes not interested its cos he just never has been.
Fab dont think i am who you think i am lol

Okay

Shit realised ive probably just outed myself but if people do guess then please dont publicly out me

Well if he's not, he's not. And at least he sounds like a nice bloke who is going to take it in the best possible way ie that it is a lovely compliment. IN time you'll be able to move on and even laugh about it.

And I don't know who you are, if that's any consolation.

I don't have a clue either

In time you'll move on. Years ago a good friend told me that he had 'feelings' for me and would from time to time make a pass if we were drunk. Now, some 15 or so years later he proudly says how lovely it is that we've been friends for so long without one of us ever fancying the other. He's obviously forgotten and so will you.

Actually i think Aeschylus isn't soooooo far off the mark here.

Feelstupid - You already have a kid and you have twins on the way? Am I right? How old is your kid? How old are you?

If I were you I'd just concentrate on one thing at a time. Get the pregnancy out of the way before trying to form a relationship with a different man.

It would seem awkward to the guy in question. What would he think? He might indeed like you but he sees one kid, more on the way and you saying how much you like him. It would definitely be confusing for a guy.

From what I understand, FS wasn't "trying to form a relationship" with this bloke

She has fancied him for some time, they have shared history and felt impelled to tell him she had more-than-friendship feelings for him

Unfortunately, rather ttahn getting a load off her mind by coming clean, she now feels silly

But she shouldn't, because he sounds like a decent, mature bloke who isn't going to go all funny (and "confused") on her

Christ I've told loads of women I fancy them...almost all of them reeled away in horror And I'm still going.

Sorry to hear about the guy who fathered your pregnancy running off tho. Jesus, men...etc

I've occasionally told blokes I fancied them only to be politely and kindly turned down, as well. In all cases, after a while and a bit of embarrassment on my behalf, we remained on good terms.
There's nothing wrong with telling someone you fancy them/want to date them/however you put it. Decent human beings accept such information as the compliment it is and do not shriek 'Eurgh! Shag YOU? Are you mental?' Equally, decent human beings, when their propostions are kindly but firmly refused, accept this with good grace and don't ever mention it to the object of their affections again.
People who either turn down a proposition unkindly, or who sulk, stamp their feet or keep on whining and begging after a refusal, are not nice people, they are losers.