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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So if we're £50k in debt and it's over, what happens next?

30 replies

Lamazed · 07/06/2010 22:33

That's it really.

It's over - 2 kids - how the hell do we split up when we owe this much money and have a house each in either names - what happens - can we split?

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 07/06/2010 22:36

Yep. You can each declare bankruptcy. Probably the best plan in the circs. Houses will have to be sold, you'll have to start again. Actually you may be a candidate for an IVA if you both work.

Sorry you are in such a shit state. Go get some professional advice.

AllSheepareWhite · 07/06/2010 22:41

Sorry to hear about your situation. Ditto Whomoved, local CAB might be able to help, if you do bankruptcy there are lots of companies that will offer to do the paperwork for you, but you can get the forms from the court directly and fill them in yourself saves lots of money.

whomovedmychocolate · 07/06/2010 22:46

Also just FYI you need to find a few hundred to file for bankruptcy but you can apparently put this on a credit card!

CAB is a good starting point as is the government insolvency service if you can get over the lack of pictures and dry tone.

Lamazed · 07/06/2010 22:54

Oh dear god - can't believe this is happening to me...

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 07/06/2010 23:05

Look, it sounds bloody awful, and yes it is horrible to go through, but there is life beyond both divorce and bankruptcy. Do you have equity in the properties (ie could you sell one and pay it all off)? You are going to have to downsize but long term, you will get through this and things will get better.

TDiddy · 07/06/2010 23:06

Sorry to hear. Try your best not to worry about the money but focus on essentials of life: health and warmth of your children and friends. You will rebuild from there.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/06/2010 07:15

Consumer Credit Counselling Service are worth contacting as well. Their services are free. No harm in trying the CAB either but they are not always the best people to deal with this level of debt.

Fluffyone · 08/06/2010 08:30

When I went with my friend who was filing for bankruptcy the court didn't take cards, they didn't take cheques, they only took cash!
Lamazed, take it one step at a time. Get some advice. Google National Debtline and ring them, they are a charity and will be able to help you.

LIZS · 08/06/2010 08:34

any equity in the houses or other assets like cars, shares etc? tbh you'd be expected to sell and clear as much as possible first. Get some independent advice urgently (CAB or a charity - not a debt "service")

foreverastudent · 08/06/2010 08:48

Need more info!

Are you married?

Is the split amicable?

How much equity is in each house?

Whose house do you live in and where do each of you intend to live post-split?

Do you both work?

Do you earn enough to service the debt?

Does one of you earn a lot more than the other?

Do either of you ahve other assets/savings?

Whose name is the debt in?

Lamazed · 08/06/2010 08:56

Married

Not really

Negative equity in both

Live in mine - I will stay, he intends to rent - the other house is 200 miles away

He works - I don't, 2DCs, eldest 2.5

Currently undergoing debt management

No othe assets

Debt is 40/60 split - 60% in his name

OP posts:
Malificence · 08/06/2010 10:18

Get yourself onto the moneysaving expert forums, if you have no equity in your house, you can go bankrupt and keep the house quite often.

There are lots of people on there in your situation, look at it this way, they can't have what you haven't got.
I hope you're not paying a debt management company, there are charities who do it for free - although it sounds like bankruptcy is in your best interests.

SolidGoldBrass · 08/06/2010 10:36

Yes, there are lots of organisations, some government backed, who will help you out here. It's nowhere near as bad and scary as it sounds.
And at least you are rid of this selfish, nasty dysfunctional man. You will start feeling better very soon Lamazed because you won't have him hanging around depressing and subtly insulting you all the time.

MoneyadvisoratCAB · 08/06/2010 11:54

Moneyadvisor at CAB here.

I regularly deal with this amount of debt.

You should not get the bankruptcy deposit using a credit card, (that is, if bankruptcy is the best option for you).

You cannot possibly get correct advice for such complex problems like this over an internet forum. See the following;

your local CAB
National debtline www.nationaldebtline.co.uk
consumer credit counselling www.cccs.co.uk/

Whatever you do, do it quickly as you may have to wait a month for an appointment and do not pay for debt advice, the above are all free

whomovedmychocolate · 08/06/2010 12:22

moneyadvisor@cab well duh we did say seek professional advice

'You cannot possibly get correct advice for such complex problems like this over an internet forum' - have you any idea how patronising and ironic this statement is?

MoneyadvisoratCAB · 08/06/2010 12:28

No

foreverastudent · 08/06/2010 13:41

agree with wmmc- what if there are things that cant wait a month for an appointment?

Some advice, as long as it is not incorrect is v useful in these situations.

Even debt advice from professionals can be flawed.

And tbh if the poster gives all the necessary info then there is no reason why they cant get correct advice from a forum.

Lamazed- what is your 'debt management'?

Have you already got an IVA?

If you aren't earning how are you going to pay the mortgage?

I can see the housing issue here being more of a problem than the debt. Have you considered other housing options if you lose the house?

You only need to worry about the debt in you or joint names. But his debt will obviously hamper his ability to pay you maintenance.

2rebecca · 08/06/2010 14:00

If you are 50k in debt then does the fact that you are getting divorced change anything? Is there stuff you can sell to pay off some of the debt as I presume you spent the 50k on something, particularly if you have a house each, or main home and second home as it won't have been spent on essentials if you could afford 2 houses. All sounds a bit odd.

MoneyadvisoratCAB · 08/06/2010 14:14

foreverstudent, how do you know what the necessary information is tho?

If there are things that can't wait a month you can get emergency advice from any of the organisations people have referred to above. They will know what to ask/prioritise and may advise immediately on maximising your income e.g help with mortgage interest payments from DWP as OP not working. Then you can go into things in more detail later. Not always a one month wait, depends...

Lamaze haven't your debt management agency advised you?

foreverastudent · 08/06/2010 15:21

money- you ask questions- just as a professional adviser would.

lou031205 · 08/06/2010 15:32

Hi Lamaze, I have a little experience with BR. DH & I were both discharged in 2007 under the new rules.

You can use any available credit to raise the BR fees - Official receivers are well used to it, and as long as you haven't been otherwise reckless, they don't tend to hold it against you.

What you MUST NOT DO is use any available credit and 'max it out' when you know you cannot pay it back. However, the BR fee can be seen as an essential cost.

The first thing to do is open a new bank account with a Bank that you don't have any debt with, and divert any earnings, etc. into it.

Secondly, you must agree with your (ex) DH that you will both file BR. If you don't, what will happen is that whoever doesn't go BR will get chased for the debt that the person who has filed BR has left. It doesn't actually matter whose name the debt is in - you are married so you are both responsible for the debt.

whomovedmychocolate · 08/06/2010 20:35

Moneyadvisor@CRM - and clearly you have no bloody idea who any of us are and our qualifications.

But let me explain - it's ironic because you are advising against following advice given on an online forum on an online forum

Lou could you pls reassure Lamaze that you do get through it and things get better once the nasty official bits are over?

lou031205 · 08/06/2010 20:48

With pleasure whomovedmychocolate It really is a weight off of your shoulders. When you have so much debt that there is no way out (and that could be a few thousand for one person, and hundreds for another), then BR is not a curse on the rest of your life, but the beginning of the future.

Obviously, the process is traumatic. And the uncertainty is gutwrenching. But the relief is immeasurable. When you step out of court you are completely debt free.

We learned harsh lessons, and now, over 3 years on, we are completely debt free, and wouldn't touch credit with a barge pole.

whomovedmychocolate · 08/06/2010 20:51

Good for you lou - it's a really horrid thing to go through but those three months before you do it are undoubtably worse. Everyone trying to catch up with you, the sense of descending into chaos.

I've seen people on the verge of suicide because of their debts, and then just a few weeks later, on the road to recovery, tis the bright side to a very shitty coin.

Shugs72 · 08/06/2010 21:21

Hi

Im soon to get 50k from a house sale.
Do i put it in the bank or put it into cars?

I ask this as I dont trust banks at the minute...