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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So if we're £50k in debt and it's over, what happens next?

30 replies

Lamazed · 07/06/2010 22:33

That's it really.

It's over - 2 kids - how the hell do we split up when we owe this much money and have a house each in either names - what happens - can we split?

OP posts:
foreverastudent · 08/06/2010 21:30

lou- sorry but being married doesnt make the debts joint

lou031205 · 08/06/2010 21:34

Completely. I think society teaches us to cling on to the bitter end to the material things, to 'standards of living' and by the time BR comes, people are getting in debt trying to service their debt.

Worse still, nobody says 'stop. Why are you getting in to more debt? What is the issue here?'

Everything spirals. You get a loan, then can't pay it back or you are still living beyond your means. You then 'consolidate' debt, but the banks say 'take a little extra for emergencies.' A few months/years later you go back and 'consolidate' again, taking that little extra. And again, and again.

It is insidious and you get sucked in. The interest rate creeps up as your credit rating creeps down. If anyone said 'wait a minute', you would look at the issue and think "oh my goodness", but nobody does. You get bank managers bending over backwards to sell you a loan. Until one day...

...they don't.

I remember so clearly popping into our bank to 'consolidate' our loans, and the bank manager said 'I'm really so sorry, but I can't do it. The system won't let me, I've phoned and the controllers won't let me.' The trouble is, we had no other credit options. Couldn't increase our overdraft, couldn't consolidate, couldn't meet our loan repayments without both doing serious overtime just to tread water. And we had a small child, so to do the overtime I would have to pay for child care, which would defeat the point of the overtime.

So, I stopped, and looked. For the first time I saw that we were living beyond our means, but that there was nothing we could do to cut back. We were already eating budget. We didn't have sky, didn't buy clothing, etc., etc.

We had unsecured debt, but no assets. For us, BR would be a fresh start. We wouldn't get credit for a good few years, but we were sick of credit.

I went onto the BR boards on the Moneysaving expert site. I read, and I read, and I read until my eyes ached. And then I set the plans in motion. Opened new bank accounts, filled in the paperwork, booked a court date, stopped paying the debts. I went down to the bank to withdraw the court fee using my credit card, but I had missed a payment. So they said I had to pay £10 before I could use the card. I paid £10, then withdrew £1000 (both DH and I were filing together).

After the BR date, we went straight to the Co-op bank, and opened new post-br accounts. I then prepared a file of all recent financial documents, gathered all old chequebooks, etc. When the Official receiver appointment came, I was able to hand over everything. I told him the fee was gained using the credit card, and he said that it often was. I mean, if you had a spare £500 you wouldn't need to go BR, would you?

We didn't get a payments order, were allowed to keep both cars (not massive value, and we worked in locations about 25 miles from each other with no good transport links), and were both discharged within 9 months.

lou031205 · 08/06/2010 21:42

foreverastudent -sorry you are completely right. Only debts where they were previously in joint names, such as a bank account.

MoneyadvisoratCAB · 09/06/2010 10:05

Sorry you took my post so personally Whomovedmychocolate. I wasn't intending to say that anyone's advice in particular was not 'correct', just advice around the OP's whole situation would be better, maybe could have worded my post better, I dunno, you seem a bit touchy tho.

Anyway I will hide this thread now just in case it becomes a slanging match which won't help OP in anyway

whomovedmychocolate · 09/06/2010 15:03

Yep I'm a complete nutcase.

Would not become a slanging match but it just annoys me when people come onto internet forums and say 'well don't listen to anyone else, listen to me'

But thank you for the apology.

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