FFS! We have 20+ people coming for a BBQ in 2.5 hours, and DH's contribution to preparations is......

[fluffyhamster]

...to start washing the car

We need to get furniture out
Plates /glasses/cutlery out
BBQ cleaned & ready
Garden games sorted for kids
Drinks in cooler
Ice made
Meat to marinade
salads to prepare

and millions of other tasks.
He knows this, because we discussed what needs to be done.

And he is cleaning the fecking car "because people will be walking past it..."

I AM LIVID!

Does anyone else's DH do this sort of thing?

What are you doing on Mumsnet? You have salads to make!

you have lost the right to complain by posting on mumsnet when you should be preparing the BBQ!

No, my DH would be doing any job I asked him to do.

Oh yes, we had a similar amount of people coming once time. DH's contribution? To hang a blind in a room no-one would be entering! I went mad. He retaliated that I had been nagging him to hang the blind for 6 months, so I couldn't get upset with him for actually doing it!!

Men!!

mine does this
very odd

no in fact mine prtends there is somehting we need to buy then pops into the pub for a quick pint

"No, my DH would be doing any job I asked him to do. "

wel that is helpful

Yes, have had similar. Jet washed the garden in case anybody wanted to go out there. In December. In the dark.

It's all to do with lack of self confidence and inability to be a part of it. he feels that you have it all under control and therefore feels in the way and emasculated . I think I probably read that somewhere

when i had ds3 we had presumed id stay in so not brought car seat
as i had a bath ds darted home to get it

then rearrived wiht a whiff of beer, he had popped in, announced ds3s birth on teh tannoy, been cheered, downed a " half" and come back

arf

Cannot understand men; my DP can be a bit random like this.

Get your drinks ready first and then hopefully you will have some helpful friends who come first & will muck in making salads & marinades.

funny thing about bbq's the men always end up doing the "cooking" probably a priemval caveman thing and no-one expects to eat on time.

Have fun!!

no I bbq at our hosue
no men near fire they burn things

yep! I had a BBQ 2 weeks ago for my name day. DP did....nothing!
he said that it was me that had organised it and therefore he should not have to do anything
1 hr before when i was running around stressed (after being in work all day) he thought it would be a good idea to help his mother to garden!

DH gets fixated on one task.

And then if I say anything he gets all hurt because he has been busy too.

Usually the task will involve making something.

Yes there is always something "important" to do like build a wall, clean the decking, tidy the loft, cut the hedge. I just don't get it all all, makes me soooo

TBH I prefer not to have DH in the kitchen when I'm prepping stuff but he'd be hauling furniture round if I told him to.

Arf at this thread.

DP has yet to find an occasion for which putting a shelf up is not suitable preparation

Anything. Visitors of any kind, housework; when DD was tiny he went shelf-mad. We have a lot of shelves.

Do it yourself, it's easier...... I thank god I have no dh when i read threads like these!

Day before christmas with multiple in-laws descending for an enormous feast
DH buys a new fridge -freezer for all the drinks and then we both spend most of the day trying to get the darn thing from the car into the cellar

Yes yes yes.... He will ask on Christmas Eve what we are getting everyone, he will say he is ready for a holiday once he has packed his stuff

I would have to be very specific, like he was a little child

He never quite gets it right, your story rings true here!

I take it that he will be actually BBQing the meat and therefore taking all the glory for the event?

DH will ask, on the way to the airport, if we have everything.

I do this Whenever I feel a bit overwhelmed at having to get things done NOW ... I develop an imperative urge to wash my hair, or grout the tiles, or something equally diversionary. There are only two ways around it with me: either start really early, so the task never gets overwhelming (rarely achieved), or do the diversion, then rush round like a frickin maniac, doing everything last minute. I have been known to serve the main course of a dinner party at 11pm

I'd have sent him out with the kids while I did everything

Please m'lord - I was only on Mumsnet because I was looking up a recipe

I wrote a list - for him & for me _ and calmly told him that those were the things he needed to get done.

He is finally doing some of them, but has just announced he is off for a shower...

WTF

And they are mostly 'his' friends coming too.....!

Grr.....

He is doing emotional preparation

an evening will go far better if host is feeling pissed confident and relaxed.