boyfriend of 4 years wants abortion

[knasher29]

I just need some advice really - 2 unplanned pregnancies in the last 2 years (both times taking the pill). First one last year ended in abortion after my boyfriend managed to persuade me into it - this resulted in complete relationship break down, my mental breakdown and moving out of London for 6 months. We patched things together again after much hard work at xmas but now just found out i'm 4 weeks preg again!! Don't think I can go through that again but boyf has made it clear he's still not ready for family (he's 25, i'm 27)- feels like dejavu form last year.. Can i go it alone and lose him??? I'm a qualified teacher but currently nannying so don't really have many rights as no contract. If I did decide to continue with the preg, I would have to move out of London, closer to close family and friends. Any similar experiences would be appreciated

Thank you again for all your amazingly supportive messages! I am trying to be strong but is v hard - very scary prospect to go alone (BF made it clear that he will leave if I go ahead).

Magdelena, your story is inspiring & almost fairytale like! Thank you for sharing it with me.

I have nothing against abortions (have had one myself and never regretted it) but it seems so obvious from your posts that you want this baby.

Remember, no man has ownership over your womb. He lost his right to enforce a decision about your pregnancy the moment he declined to take care of the contraception himself. He will need to face up to the consequences of his actions eventually. That will probably come in the form of the CSA.

I'd just like to add my congratulations.

From what you've said, it sounds unlikely your relationship will surivive another abortion, so your choice is between a) have an abortion, keep him happy, but it ruins your relationship and you end up single and childless or b) keep your baby, but it ruins your relationship and you end up single with a gorgeous child.

Faced with those options, I'd go for b.

What help is available? Does anyone know about benefits and sure start, etc??

This is your choice-your body,your baby.A man who wants to use abortion as birth control isnt someone you want in your life.You keep your baby-I absolutely agree with the post above.

Another congrats from me, I found out I was pregnant and knew I would be on my own. It was and still is the scariest adventure but I have a beautiful, wonderful and funny 4 yr old dd who reminds me everyday of why I am the luckiest mum on the planet!
Financially it is tight but we manage, it might be worth talking to the Citizans Advice Beaureu to see what your options are, you'll def be entitled to some tax credits and depending on what you decide with work other benefits as well (housing etc).
People were also extremely generous when I had my dd and I had virtually nothing to buy as people went out of there way to help me out with cots, moses baskets, clothes etc.
Your boyfriend sounds like he really needs to grow up and you have to do what is best for you, good luck xXx

This is a useful site for benefits, etc.
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/YourMoney/index.htm

Congrats and good luck!