I split up with my ex-partner 3 years ago. Our DD is now four and contact between us is agreed.
The problem is "extra" contact. My ex regularly (at least once a fortnight) contacts me wanting to see our DD on days that we have agreed are mine to spend with her.
In the past, to try to keep things friendly, my ex has come round on my days off, when I am at home with DD, for an hour or so. To be honest, I found this very stressful, but thought that I was being nice.
I then realised that whenever I asked to see our DD when it was his time to see her, or even to have her brought home half hour early, I was always told "no".
His reason being, that as I see DD more than him, I should always agree to him seeing her whenever he wants, whereas his time is "precious" and there is no flexibility to be had.
I've tried to point out the unfairness in this and that I don't take the mick and honestly don't think that requesting our DD be brought home half hour early on a Bank Holiday MOnday - when her has her EVERY Monday and so every Bank Holiday Monday is unreasonable.
Today was the second time in a month that he has asked to see our DD on a Weds. I work 30 hrs/week and as it's half term, I booked the week off of work specifically to spend time with our DD. Bearing in mind my Ex had our DD Sat/Sun and Mon of this week, I said no to him coming over on Wednesday and "taking her out" for our couple of hours.
I then overheard him talking to our DD on the phone this evening to the effect that if anything happened to him, his parents would look after her. I took the phone from our DD and asked what was going on. He was crying and told me that I'd driven him to the edge.
This is not the first time he's threatened to kill himself. The last time was only a couple of weeks ago, when I again said that he couldn't see DD on a day that I had her.
In the past my Ex has been very controlling bullying towards me. His justification is that it was my fault for not standing up for myself. When we were together, he threatened suicide when I was going to leave him after I found out about his (first) affair.
This though, has just made me so angry.
I am sorry if he has mental health issues, but he should not be saying things like this to our DD and I plan on sending him an email explaining this and that if he's not well, he should be seeking appropriate treatment.
To be honest, I don't know if he's serious, or if it's a reaction to not getting his own way, and that makes me feel guilty - that I'm doubting that he is ill and if he is, that as he says, it's my fault for making him ill.
Not sure why I'm posting this really and it is a bit long.
I think that I sound very uncaring, don't I?
I just don't know what to do.
T