To old to have a baby?

[squirrel3]

I have just begun a new relationship and I have waited all of my life to find a man like him. He is near perfect, we are happy, we are on the same wave length, have the same beliefs, he treats me like a princess...

So what is the problem? I hear you ask. The problem is I am 10 yrs older than him, my children have grown up and I actually have grandchildren. He doesn't have children and he wants them, it is highly inlikely that I can give him a child, but I just can't give him up and he can't give me up either.

It is heart wrenching, for us both. I can't deny him the chance to have a child that I can't give him but we don't want to end things.

Any advice? is it crazy to think about having a child with him when I am 45? or am I just setting us both up to be hurt?

somebody else may have said this but John Travolta's wife is expecting another baby and she is 47!
If you are healthy and happy and in a good secure relationship with somebody who really wants a child then I personally feel that child will be very lucky

I am another over 40s mum with a younger man and I got pregnant at 40 very easily.

It helps, I think, that you could get pregnant at the drop of a hat when younger. Do you know how old your mum was when she entered the menopause? They say fertility starts to decline ten years before you hit the menopause proper. My mum was 53 so I reckon I could manage another one if I got my skates on.

You really need to think though, about what you would do if there were genetic abnormalities. Which is worse, not to try for a baby or to have to contemplate a termination if something really bad was found? This is the thing that is worrying me.

I'm sure John Travolta's wife will have had some medical assistance.

Would you consider IVF abroad? if you had donor eggs it could still be your DP's baby.

Squirrel3, your chances of having a baby that is genetically both yours is not good at 45, but it is certainly still possible. How much do you need the baby to be genetically yours? Would it be enough for it to be his, and grown in your body? If so, you have a far higher chance of success if you go to Spain and have a donated egg fertilised with his sperm. Roughly 50% success rate. Maybe try on your own for a while, but think about that. Spain will treat you up to age 50.

Nothing to add really, but couldn't read Grace's post mentioning adoption without responding. Adoption is difficult and practically impossible at the age of 45 from what I understand- I don't think it's right to be so glib about it.

Let's not forget that Cherie Blair conceived naturally at 44/45- by accident it appears.

Fertility declines after 35 and more so after 40.

At 45 you have a 1:32 chance of having a child with Down's syndrome.

As long as you are willing to accept the risks the go ahead and try.

Cherie Blair had fertility treatment, according to the sleb secrets thread. All very hush hush.

Thank you so much for your responses everyone. I am amazed at the support I have found here

I would be delighted to be able to use donor eggs, infact I seriously considered donating myself when I was younger to give someone else the chance to be a mother and have that longed for baby.

My periods are still regular as clockwork, my mother had to have a hysterectomy before she hit menopause due to cancer so I have no idea when she would have hit menopause.

I realise that there would be risks of abnormalities etc but we have decided that we will cross that bridge if we come to it. But first I need to see my Dr and discuss it with her and get some tests done.

Dp would still want to be with me if there was no baby but as I have said I love him enough to not want to take away the chance of him becoming a father, how could I? Children are such precious gifts and he would be a wonderful father.

Thank you again for the support you have given me