I think i have a crush on another woman

[tiredntetchy]

God i feel like im embarking on an affair by writing this down. Eek!

I am in my mid 30's married with 3 kids all under 6. I love my husband and we are happy and have a good relationship.

Recently i have become quite friendly with a woman i know who works at a place i visit a couple of times a week. She is always friendly to me and i have always liked her but recently for some weird reason i can't get her out my head. I really admire her and alto i don't think she is a particularly 'pretty' woman, infact she is quite tom boyish in a way, i find i am quite drawn to her. Even to the point of wanting to have physical comtact with her. Not even so much in a sexual way but definitely in a sensual way.

I am quite aware that i have the potential to be bi sexual as i have had a relationship with a woman of sorts before. But this is different. I really feel like i have a crush on her. i didn't feel like that with my previous female friend, we were just best friends who were intimate at times. With this woman just now i can't get her out my head. I know it is bad as i feel guilty for feeling like this but then i want to laugh because i feel its ridiculous as she is a woman, i have no idea if she is hetrosexual or what and i don't actually want to rip her clothes off or anything, but i do want to be around her and i would like to be physical with her but more in a i'd like to embrace her kinda way.

Oh my god have i just lost it altogether? Thing is she is quite a spiritual person and i almost feel she has put a spell on me!! Cant believe im writing this, i think i might actually have lost it!!

Help!!!

[KirstyHasLeft]

I wonder if there is a teacher somewhere, who has a crush on a mum? :) Or is it just mums crushing on teachers?

[Teenagain]

Yep, same here, had crushes on female teachers when I was in school (& one male :-) but never thought I was a lesbian...I guess it’s the way most of us were brought up, it didn’t cross my mind.
I know some teachers/instructors who like women but in a less platonic way than the other way around. I think there‘s so many of „us“ out there but I never noticed before...now I’m starting to...still so hard to find someone as I don’t go for the women who are „obviously gay“ or just after sex

[Teenagain]

Oh Gosh what to say about the Christian bit... im Christian too but not practicing. When I was a Teenager I was very close to God, visited a convent frequently. Then when I was at Uni & started reading a more about religion & all the horrible things, inc current news about priests etc (which I won’t go into but enough to say it put me off religion) I don’t think God would want to stop you love somebody. But it’s too big of a subject to debate & it’s very Personal to how you and your friend feel about your faith etc. I would give anything to find someone I love who loves me back & doesn’t just want to have a bit of fun, experiment, sleep around. To have true connection, friendship etc like you describe with your friend. Religion would not stop me, but that‘s just me, I don’t want to advise you something that might ruin your relationship with her or your husband, it’s personal choice after all. Just saying what I think

[Teenagain]

I would ask your friend! Not to express your deep love for her just to say that you wish you could cuddle up to her while watching TV as you miss closeness like that & ask her whether she thinks that would b going too far/against God etc. It’s just discussing what‘s important to you. Surely that‘s not against the Bible. & I don’t think cuddling up is either :-) Of course once u do that you‘ll prob both want more...
It’s so sad to hear that such a beautiful relationship/friendship/love is ruined by society‘s expectations & religion!! Like I said I’d give anything to have what you found!!! I’m like you spent my life with men (2 in total) & Never felt i was truely in love or loved or fulfilled. I now know someone who I‘d love to be with but it’s a bit more complicated & I can’t 😔
Why is it always a sad story with women??? 😫 Because society, religion restricts our freedom to be free/happy... That‘s a bit strong I guess it’s not that bad or at least I didn’t think it was but when I read your story I get v frustrated.

[Teenagain]

Same here Melchick. I think most women need emotional closeness, cuddles, feeling loved etc & most men unable to give it as nice as they might be (like my husband). I think you are so lucky to have found a woman you can have this with! I know you have your faith stopping you, but I want to scream don’t let it!(At the same time I don’t want you to ruin your friendship/marriage & blame it on my advise 😬😳) There has to be a solution...maybe talk to your husband about it...? Not all men would understand but I think some would...you know yours! I think mine would maybe be able to accept it if I haven’t cheated & didn’t say how much more I love a woman than him, just put it to him somehow a bit more palatable...not easy.. My friend done it (about another man) & the husband was actually fine with it! Which I know is prob 1 out of at least 1000 & she took a hugh risk but was honest & it worked for them (rather than cheating, having an affair, divorce like “most people”) Now after a brief fling she is happy with her husband in a good relationship. She is obviously not religious, but I disagree that religion should stop people being together who are in love - it’s handy if it stops people cheating,having affairs, divorcing etc etc but talking honestly about your feelings should not be against God.
I haven’t told my husband I like women because I haven’t found anyone like you. Otherwise I wouldn’t hesitate despite it being risky. Obviously noone can guarantee how your husband & friend would react so take that into account, as I’m sure you will, but religion wouldn’t be my reason to deny myself happiness. It’s not what God is about in my opinion!

[confusoedimezzaeta]

@KirstyHasLeft

I wonder if there is a teacher somewhere, who has a crush on a mum? :) Or is it just mums crushing on teachers?

I am a teacher...

[Teenagain]

Hi Mel
Your husband knows you are attracted to women & doesn’t mind you spending evenings/late nights with a woman who has had girlfriends in the past & he knows you are close to??? Does he ask you about your evenings with her? He must know there is something btwn you two! If I was him I’d b convinced you are having an affair...or maybe he trusts you completely... My husband doesn’t ask much but even he would question me going out at nights like that... So maybe he would be totally fine with it...only one way to find out. You will be 40mins drive? 😊 Maybe you can stay overnight or get home at 1.30 😊
“Mine” moved abroad...

[Teenagain]

I’m a teacher too btw 😊