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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My friend was on her first date the other night, late on she rang me...

35 replies

Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:06

I'd already rang to make sure she'd got home ok. He'd gone home with her. She'd got drunk even though she was up very early for work...but worse is she rang me back, telling me how happy she was and they were so good together and thanking me for being a great friend...he was only sitting next to her at the time

She was going on like some bunny boiler and all I could think was he must be desperate to get out. Turns out I'm right as he didn't call her.

I was honest with her and said she must've terrified him.

It's such a shame because it sounds like they got on well, had loads to talk about and had a good laugh. I just hope she can learn from this and not be so intense next time? Or maybe he just didn't want anything serious anyway?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 09/05/2010 13:07

or maybe she should lay off the booze!!

msboogie · 09/05/2010 13:08

Oh Lord silly woman - still at least you were honest with her!

Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:09

She really should, she thinks she can handle her drink but she can't. I told her not to drink much but it's in one ear.... plus I'm not her mother. I don't like to tell adults how to live but I care for her and know she would love to meet someone who suited her. She's very honest though too.

I think I'll film her at her most intense and show her what she goes on like.

OP posts:
YeahBut · 09/05/2010 13:10

Ach well, you live and learn. At least, that's what you should tell her.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:11

Yes I did, I said she'll find someone who suits her. She is lovely, very giving and usually sensible. She did cry a bit today when reality sunk in but nothing wrong with that I suppose, think it was more embarassment?

OP posts:
Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:13

embarrassment

OP posts:
Gay40 · 09/05/2010 13:13

How stupid. No wonder men run a mile.

SamanthaFox · 09/05/2010 13:21

Gay40, what do you mean, 'men run a mile'?

Gay40 · 09/05/2010 13:23

From these bunny boiling, desperate to be in a relationship, low self-esteem women.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:29

Funnily she doesn't have low self esteem she was drunk and shouldn't drink too much. She'll be over it by tomorrow I just hope maybe she doesn't drink too much on her next date?

OP posts:
Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:31

Oh and she's not desperate to be in a relationship she's been on her own for years, turned down plenty of guys. She's actually very fussy.

OP posts:
SamanthaFox · 09/05/2010 13:31

By 'these' I take it you are generalising.

You've really no right to judge the OP's friend from a few words on a screen, and lump her in with some imagined sector of society.

You sound a bit prejudiced tbh.

Chandra · 09/05/2010 13:34

Oh my... just reading it make me feel like running a mile (and I am not a man!), that the behaviour may have originated in her inability to control her alcohol intake makes it even worse, bunny boiler with alcoholic tendencies, charming...

Gay40 · 09/05/2010 13:36

She might be fussy, but the man ran a mile after she blathered on ON THE FIRST DATE about how good they were together. Jesus.
Smacks of desperation to me.

Yeah SF - I'm highly prejudiced.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:38

You're right it does sound it I really think she changes into a different person when she's drunk..it's unreal. If it were me I'd stop drinking totally tbh.

OP posts:
SamanthaFox · 09/05/2010 13:38

i don't think prejudice is a very good thing, Gay.

why so angry with (some) women?

SamanthaFox · 09/05/2010 13:39

Curiousmama, does she ever read mumsnet?

I'm thinking perhaps this wasn't really the kindest thread to start about your friend.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 09/05/2010 13:42

No she isn't a mum and never goes on here. I wouldn't have done otherwise.

OP posts:
SamanthaFox · 09/05/2010 13:49

still it seems a bit unkind to talk about her and reveal her shameful experience to an internet full of strangers...

MuthaHubbard · 09/05/2010 13:52

anyone would be put off

imagine it the other way round, the guy got drunk and started saying things like how happy he was with you and and how good together you are - on the first date - when you don't know even know each other......

this would totally put me off and have been running.

if this was me, i'd want my friend to tell me i'd acted like a bit of a muppet

Chandra · 09/05/2010 13:54

Samantha... if nobody posted about friend/family/neighbour/colleague originated exasperation in Mumsnet, the only thing you would see in this site was tumbleweed rolling..

MuthaHubbard · 09/05/2010 13:54

*would have been running.

also why on earth did she take a guy back to hers on the first date!?!?!?!? a stranger in her home whilst she's drunk?!

to be honest that would bother me a hell of a lot more then some drunken ramblings

Fluffyvacuity · 09/05/2010 14:11

bit dangerous to invite random man back to your house, especially when drunk? You could mention that to her

Fluffyvacuity · 09/05/2010 14:12

x post!!

hatesponge · 09/05/2010 14:20

tbh, I suspect this guy was only ever after a one-nighter. If that's true, then it doesnt matter what your friend said or did, that would still be the case.

In my experience, a man who comes back post first date is either a) really interested or b) after a shag.

If a) her drunken ramblings wouldn't have put him off completely. Made him wary, yes. But would not result in him dropping her like a stone.