My husband has just left and i feel like killing my slef

[Tuesday13]

Help

I have no money, no savings no job, no family no friend and i have a 15 month old with a crap mum and no dad.

Husband has go to stay with him mum and dad and left me here with my son.

What do i do? i have no where to go. Im so lost and just want to die.

I have let my son down and i have no idea what to do.

You have a 15 month old, no matter how crap you think you are (and your not!) you are your DC whole world don't destroy your DC world he needs you now more than ever no one will ever love him like you do, he needs that love now and in the future.

You have a 15 month old, no matter how crap you think you are (and your not!) you are your DC whole world don't destroy your DC world he needs you now more than ever no one will ever love him like you do, he needs that love now and in the future.

Hello Tuesday, the first thing you have to do is calm down. Is your ds all tucked up?

Sorry, you haven't any support around, but there'll be plenty here in a minute I should imagine.

He's gone to his mum's, presumably you had an argument.

Is it something you can both sleep on and regroup tomorrow?

If you really are having serious suicidal thoughts call the Samaritians.

If your worried about your future in general people of MN are full of wonderful advice.

Tuesday - sorry, I said DS don't know why. ??

If you feel suicidal then phone www.samaritans.org/ as you need support.

Samaritans are wonderful.

And believe me you are not the only one in your situation, I have no family and very few friends, it is hard. But mn is here for me always.

So sorry to hear what has happened to you. You must try to stay strong for your son's sake. He needs you, and I'm sure you are not a crap mother. If you have no friends locally then do you have friends elsewhere you could contact by phone, and maybe visit them? Do you have family who could come and stay with you? when you say you have nowhere to go, why do you need to go anywhere? things always seem worse at night. Try to get some sleep and then get back on here in the morning, as there will be a lot more people who can offer advice. I know that's an easy thing to say, but if you can sleep on it it may not seem such an enormous task to deal with in the morning. And I'm sure your little lad will be up early! Try to hold it together - maybe try not to thinnk about it until the morning at all. Wish I could say more to help, but without knowing more details it's hard to advise you. Don't despair xx

Tuesday - please carry on posting on here, whether tonight or in the morning as there are people on here who care about what's happening to you xx

no hit was big. we have no been right for ages ok since son was born, we had money problem and i think he just stoped likeing me. He lied to me its so stupid but its the last straw. i shouted at him and i cant take any more he is too weak to break up with me so does stuff he knows i will hate.

He had porn on his phone i laughted at him and he said "well i had to do something when you were pg" he only had phone 8 months my child is 15 months!

I see it as cheating he knows i hate it (the liying) i left a few months ago of the same thing and now he did it again.

I can back and tried to get things right and he didn't ewven try.

My son is up and playing in my room.

I told his mum what he is like (bad move) and what i thought of her.

i hate him and his family. why did he not try and get thing sorted with me?

I have nothing and no one and feel so crap.

I have no idea what to do.

Sorry, not exactly feeling great myself but didn't want to let this go unanswered.

Firstly, try not to panic. It's really hard when dealing with the emotional fallout to also look at the practical aspects but these probably need to get sorted first. Given that it is now Sunday and you'll be unable to do anything before Monday, you can look at entitled to (tax credits, housing benefit) and the CSA website (child maintenance) which should give you some idea as to what you would be entitled to.

Secondly, try to get a good night's sleep. Hard I know, but things always look even worse if you're tired.

Thirdly, try not to panic. I would really suggest that you don't try to make too many decisions at once. They say when you are grieving not to make any major decisions in the first 6 months. Well, you are grieving for your lost relationship and that will take time.

Then you are left with the things you know. You currently have somewhere to live and a lovely DS who needs you. Believe me, in the first few days and weeks, he will be looking after you. You will have to get up when he gets up, feed him, look after him, take him out etc etc. Just concentrate on this for the moment. Decisions about where to live etc come much later.

My DCs are too old for me to know much about it but Sure Start seems to well rated on here for offering support to mothers of young children.

Hopefully others more together than me will be along shortly.

Tuesday - that's good advice there. There is loads of support out there.

Tuesday There are a lot of posters on here who can and will give you solid practical advice and emotional support, try to get some rest when you can and keep posting.

You can and will get through this x

Sorry you are in such pain, i have been there myself and the option to die not the answer tried it did nt work and soo glad i have had time since!!! Things always seem worse when you are trying to deal with everthing at once. Your best bet is just to take it in bite size chunks, just take it a day at a time. Bit by bit. It sounds like its a good thing your relationship ended, so you can re-group and find a better way of living!!!

Practically yes you need to find out what benefits you can claim so a trip to your local job centre is very urgent indeed, also your council to claim housing benefit apart this should be your priorities for next couple of days. The system is problematic but keep trying.
Keep posting and keep chin up

Hope you managed to get some sleep.

Firstly you need to make a decision, if he wanted to come back do you want him?

The answer to that will decide what you need to do next.

Tuesday, you have the world to live for - your DC loves you dearly and needs you. Think about him and please talk to someone (ringing Samaritans is a good idea).

You are not giving much info about your relationship with H but I get the impression that he is not much help to you in any way or form. I might be wrong though. Is he a good father? Does he like spending time with DC? What do you still like in him?

You did NOT let you son down. HE did by leaving you two. In fact, you are the one caring about DS and making sure he is not hurt by all this. Who is explaining your toddler where the daddy has gone? You. The bastard H can't be bothered to do that. You are doing great and you are much stronger than your H, you'll be fine.

Please come back and tell us how are you today.

Hi Tuesday

Not much advice but just wanted to say you are not alone and what you are going through is a natural reaction to the split.

Will be thinking of you and all the others going through this crap today. It's hard but you will get through it so long as you open up to someone perhaps as suggested the samaritans.

In the long run you and your DS are better off without that waste of space ex. I know it's hard to see that now though.

try to take things one day/step at a time. Maybe write down a list of things you need to sort. If you have any joint finances/bills/debts/accounts in both names you should try to change those s he doesnt rip you off.

Maybe go to the citizens advice to get some help with practical things-at least that shares the load.

Try to get out of the house (and away from reminders of him) as much as possible. The sunlight and fresh air are very good at keeping depressive thoughts at bay, however much the temptation is to stay in and cry alone.

Once you are feeling up to it try to make some new friends so you have more of a support network, maybe a class, club or group you could join.

See this as an oportunity to make a fresh start with your life, there are lots of possibilities out there and you are not alone in experiencing this.

Hi its Tuesday13 but i have changed my name (i like this better!)

I did not sleep last night or today, guess im in shock/alert mode. i packed ex's clothes and things in bags then called him to collect, they came round to pick it up and i left house. Cried a lot and talked on phone for 3 hours to a friend. It helped its not all runing around in my head now.

He wants to sell the house to a company that buys them cheap and pay off mortage and split rest 50/50 so he can pay off his dedts and rent a play of his own. I think he wants me to take as little money as he can give me. I think he is planning on going on disability so he does not have to pay support for child.

He wants it to be friendly but he is leaving.

When i say they i mean his mum and dad that are helping him and i have to pass messageds throu them!

i throw ring in garden last night and i went to find it today after they went with my wedding ring and engagment ring as i had thrown his out of window. i spend 4 hours looking for it. Then i called him to see if he had it and turns out he did!

I meet new nireabours and the kids had a great treasure hunt and we had a laught looking. We were all out in garden when i asked him and i think he was annoyed that other people were there and i was happy.

It was the first time in two years that i felt like me and had fun.

I thout he was a good Dad but not now good Dad's dont leave or do the things he has done.

He is disabled so i do everything except cook and drive to supermarket.

I'm worried about having a roof over son's head and what to live on as i have no money.

I feel sad it has ended like this but so happy not to have to put up with his horrid Mother.

You sound so much better now - well done!

Please post again tomorrow as I'm sure there'll be more people around who can advise.

I don't think you can be forced to sell, btw, if you're in sole charge of your child, but, again, you'll get reliable advice on that if you keep posting.

It sounds like you had a glimpse today of the self you really are, and hopefully you'll find that person again.
Good luck.

Wanttofly, you will not be left to starve, you will be entitled to benefits and your H will be legally obliged to pay you maintenance.
He sounds like a tosser you are better off without anyway. And you are sounding brighter today - look to your future, it's good.

Bollocks to this buy-them-quick company. They have their place - but that place is pretty much only if you're in dire straits and need the money now.

He's worried you'll be entitled to the house - which as the resident parent, you probably will.

Talk to a solicitor and don't agree to anything until you do.

Do not agree to anything to do with the selling the house please contact a solicitor today.

Glad you had some fun, it will be hard but this might juts be the best thing that has ever happened to you

You are eligible for income support now a lone parent. Book appointment at job centre and sign up, I think you can begin application by phone and sign papers etc on meeting. You'll also be eligible for healthy start vouchers for food. Ring Tax credits people and explain what's happened, they'll close your old joint claim and open a fresh one as a lone parent and your tax credits will increase. As part of income support you will also not have to pay council tax.

Get all benefits paid into a bank account in your name only as well. Just to state the obvious here.

Help with housing costs i.e. mortgage doesn't kick in until 14 weeks after your initial claim for income support unfortunately. But most mortgage companies if you explain what has happened and you cannot afford mortgage will let you take a short payment break until the housing benefit kicks in. If you end up renting the job centre will provide you with a benefit to help pay the rent as well. As long as your children are under age 7 they will not force you straight into a job, if you're not working right now. Also you will be eligible for legal aid once on income support. Get income support set up and then go to solicitor and seek advice.

My husband has left me for another woman, we were married and have small children and are now getting divorced. This is how I know the above as I'm now on income support as well but hoping once life is more stable, to start to look into work again.

As LoveBeingAHungParliament says it will be hard but this might juts be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Had a scan of thread and think I'm the first to outline benefits But well worth mentioning, before you panic about money too much.