It's me again . I know you are probably sick of me but once again I am hopping mad. DP wanted, a few weeks ago, to go and see his mum. One way or another, we never manage to go with DS, so I said I would go and visit my lovely mum. However, mums hours have changed and that weekend wasn't convinient. So DP went to his mums that weekend anyway, and I arranged to go to my mums when he was working.
Heres the bit I deserve to be in trouble for I was looking through DP's phone and saw he had messages about this weekend going back to Bristol. I asked him about it (nicely) and he said he had considered it but didn't know if he had the weekend off. He had asked for it as will otherwise be working a 7 day stretch due to a course. He said he would find out the next day if he had the time off.
Anyway, next day I ask and he says no he dosen't have the day off. I strongly suspected he was lying to me but of course, what can I say/do? He was nice as pie the next day, even though we were both knackered, and sniping at each other, he let each comment go, where as normally he is like a dog with a bone. He also gave me money, he has not done this the since I have had DS and has been an issue, really. He came and saw us off at the station, something I would normally have to beg him to do.
Anyway, all strange behaviour. By a cruel twist of fate (or perhaps he turned the charger off) my phone did not charge properly and it became apparent before he even left the train station that I was not going to have enough battery to last. I text him my mum's number and he said he would call on there. That was the last I heard of him, no call to check we were there ok, so mid afternoon I called him. No answer. Had to turn my phone off as trying to conserve battery. One answerphone message later, saying he was off to meet his brother for a few drinks and 'only to call if it was an emergency'.
So next morning I tried to call, he should have been in work at the time I called. No answer. Phoned back about 10mins later, sounding, to me, sleepy, saying he was outside yet no outdoor noises. Reckoned he had been at a burglary. Had to turn phone back off again, he said he would phone me at 8.30 that evening.
No phone call. So I tried, phone now switched off. left a message. He never called back. No call the next day, I tried calling him again in the morning, at which point my battery died completely leaving me with no phone for my journey home today. No attempts on his part to call me on mum's phone. Nothing.
I have come back and it is obvious he hasn't been here. The guinea pigs have a 'going away' feeding bowl (ie, the big one) the floor is a mess (he is a virgo and can't live like this) All the windows are shut (we live on the third floor and don't normally bother when just out for the day at work etc) and only one, very stale work shirt in the wash.
So basically he has been lying to me. I have no idea where he has been, or who he has been with. He has lied before, hence things like me checking his phone occurs. He has changed all his passwords so I cannot question him about things (he buys expensive things off ebay and does not like getting in trouble etc), and is secretive. I don't know if he is seeing someone else.
The problem with him going to Bristol is that he goes out on the lash, spending money we, or me especially, do not have. This is a good reason he would hide it from me. But this is not adult behaviour and not one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have diverted all calls from my phone and I've bolted the door - I don't want him here. As patronising and crap as it sounds I want him to learn that his actions have consequences, and I am not going to put up with this. I am, once again, seriously questioning whether we have a future. This isn't how I want to live my life.