Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

A Huge thankyou - sorry I have to hide behind a namechange. I have finally left abusive H

38 replies

ChangeOverTheHorizon · 22/04/2010 16:44

And damn it feels good!

So many friends/ family have come out to help and support me, they all knew what was happening (some just suspected)

I haven't felt so safe in a long long time.

Thankyou for helping on various threads, sorry I have namechanged again, just want to be careful.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 22/04/2010 16:45

Give us a little hint about yerself?

GypsyMoth · 22/04/2010 16:47

Oh well done! Not sure who you are or if I've been on your threads or not.

I remember the feeling from when I left too...... 5 years on and I still get a little fluttery feeling when I re live that time!!

Original poster
ChangeOverTheHorizon · 22/04/2010 16:47

Sorry..not sure I want to

You haven't been on any of my threads

Damn I seem rude but I need to wach my ack

OP posts:
Original poster
ChangeOverTheHorizon · 22/04/2010 16:49

x posts three blonde boys

It feels odd doesn't it, elation, sadness, then that terrifying gnawing feeling hemight mess it up for you

I have just signed a tenancy agreement 200 miles from him, but where I grew up

Scared he will do everything he can re custody/ money

but bring it on

OP posts:
Molesworth · 22/04/2010 16:49

No idea who you are, but glad to hear your news, change

Original poster
ChangeOverTheHorizon · 22/04/2010 16:50

I finally feel normal.

My parents (I'm staying with them now) said we are so gad to have the real you back.

Is it wrong to be scared?

OP posts:
wukter · 22/04/2010 16:52

Delighted to hear it.
All the best for your future

wannaBe · 22/04/2010 16:54

if you feel safe then why do you feel the need to namechange?

Are you safe?

GypsyMoth · 22/04/2010 16:55

Well he will get over it!

Custody..... Now called residency, will be difficult with huge distance. But workable. Depends what's happened, my ex has no contact and he dragged me through the courts to be told that

money...... Well,it's just that. Money. Usually works out.

My tip is to keep any communications with him to bare minimum or use mediation.

ChocolatePants · 22/04/2010 16:58

Of course you will feel scared too, it's a massive step that you must have agonised over for a long time... but well done and I hope you can finally be happy

mathanxiety · 22/04/2010 17:05

None of your feelings are 'wrong' -- trust whatever you're feeling. You're bound to be anxious and nervous, and if he gave you reason to be afraid of him, that never goes away, nor should it. Once dangerous, always dangerous.

I agree to only get involved in the barest minimum of communication, maybe even get a cheapo phone just for texts, or even limit communication to letters only, or e-mail to a dedicated e-mail address.

ItsGraceAgain · 22/04/2010 17:52

Great news, whoever you are

Stay safe. Be happy. xx

LoveBeingAMummy · 22/04/2010 17:55

But a good scared for a change - well done

BertieBotts · 22/04/2010 17:56

Hooray - well done

I remember when I left my XP, even though I had wanted to leave for months, I cried my eyes out because I was so sad about the relationship having finally ended, but it was wonderful to just be able to feel something again. I felt this pain in my heart, but it was amazing, every time I felt it I felt happy at the same time because I just hadn't felt any emotion at all for about a year, I was just numb in that relationship.

AnyFucker · 22/04/2010 18:07

Whoever you are...welcome to the rest of your life !

I am glad to see a positive outcome

It doesn't matter about the name-change. Maybe sometime in the future you may feel safer to give us a hint, but the ball is in your court

mrsboogie · 22/04/2010 18:45

well done, whoever you are!!!

JackBauer · 22/04/2010 19:26

Hooray for you! and congratulations!

No practical advice but just really pleased that you are out, you kids will thank you for it

gonetoofar · 22/04/2010 20:02

Really well done. I can't wait to have that feeling myself.

xx

Jeane · 22/04/2010 20:05

I'm so pleased, and hope you are who I am thinking of, though I honestly have no idea!

Thanks for coming back and telling us. Good luck, and stay on a roll xx

Original poster
ChangeOverTheHorizon · 22/04/2010 20:18

Thanks all.

He knows a few of my names on here, I'm ashamed to say it's been a two/ three year slog to finally leave.

He still doesn't know I'm gone for good. As far as he knows I'm staying with family for a bit. I will wait until we re in our new house efore telling him.

We re living out of a suitcase, have nothing, but I feel more happy and secure than I have in a long time.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChangeOverTheHorizon · 22/04/2010 20:19

Bertie whatyou say about feeling numb strikes such a cord....

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 22/04/2010 20:21

Great news Change

It's perfectly understandable that if your x knows some of your names on here then you would want to name change.

xx

Janos · 22/04/2010 20:40

Congratulations Change. It's a great feeling isn't it. Enjoy the rest of your life!

Janestillhere · 22/04/2010 20:45

Enjoy a peaceful home.
Enjoy an atmosphere of peace.

Thank goodness he isn't here anymore.
(Speaking from experience of how light the atmosphere is when we moved out)

xxx Good luck xxx

OrmRenewed · 22/04/2010 20:46

Whoever you are, bloody well done!

Swipe left for the next trending thread