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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

is he interested in me

44 replies

doigoforit · 21/04/2010 22:25

I got divorced about 5 yrs ago now and have been back in full time work since then.

I enjoy work and have plenty of friends,am popular and attractive but in my mid forties.

My question is this,I have met a younger man of about 35 at work who seems interested in me...but being older than him wonder if he just sees me as a friend,while I can see him as a potential love interest.

Does this seem like an enormous age difference to you?

How to find out and move this forwards without losing him as a friend?

OP posts:

kittya · 21/04/2010 22:30

No, I dont think its a huge gap. Its all the range now!! Do you think work is the best area though? are you senior to him or, vice-versa? Is he single?

Fizzfiend · 21/04/2010 22:31

Not enormous at all...men do it all the time.

If he's a good friend, suggest going for a drink or something. In a relaxed environment outside of work you will be able to tell if he is really interested. By how close he sits to you, his conversation...you know all this! But nothing wrong with asking him for a drink, even if he only sees you as friends...nothing to lose. GL!

Original poster

doigoforit · 21/04/2010 22:40

He is single afaik

he tends to want to spend time with me and sit close to me and meet me for coffee but he is comfortable around women so I can't be sure about the type of feelings he might have

we worked together in the evenings lately and he told me he had enjoyed working together very much

OP posts:

kittya · 21/04/2010 22:40

agree. Go for it!

Original poster

doigoforit · 21/04/2010 22:50

thanks...my main worry is he might have put me completely out of "that" bracket in his head,so just be at ease with me and then be horrified that I'm some sort of weird pervy old woman propositioning him

OP posts:

kittya · 22/04/2010 00:23

He might like older women!! besides, its not such a huge gap. I bet you dont look much older then him.

Original poster

doigoforit · 22/04/2010 19:47

well no exciting news I'm afraid didn't see him today

I'd like to know how old he is!!

OP posts:

kittya · 22/04/2010 23:12

he might be older then you think!

Original poster

doigoforit · 10/05/2010 22:44

well I have seen a lot of him lately..no actual progress but he is very friendly and today he kept blushing...what does that mean??

OP posts:

thesunshinesbrightly · 10/05/2010 23:43

It means your dragging this out waaay to much, just go for it.

motherlovebone · 10/05/2010 23:51

google for some body language pointers if you feel hesitant.

tracy cox is good.

ViveLeCliche · 10/05/2010 23:52

My sister is 45 and her most recent relationship was with a 31 year old and she was the one who moved on (3 DCs, doing a degree and working meant she felt she couldn't give him enough time) - and my mum met my dad when she was 29 and he was 21 and they're still together 38 years later!

Age gaps are smaller if you're both at similar stages in life so I would put being a pervy older woman out of your mind!

Do you get to see him at any after works drinks?

Original poster

doigoforit · 11/05/2010 18:27

Damn,didn't see him today

Yesterday he was quite excited and seemed to be running out of rooms to meet me as I was going past...

guess I am waiting for him to do something...

I think this week something might happen...either him talking about doing something outside work or similar...

we seem to be getting closer and closer as if something is going to spark off soon....

OP posts:

Original poster

doigoforit · 11/05/2010 19:18

he has made no attempt to ask for my number,e mail or any out of work activity....

but every time I step up the friendliness he steps it up even more...

he really likes me...but is it just as a friend....

OP posts:

MunchkinsMumof2 · 11/05/2010 19:27

ask him out for a drink on a work pretext, wear soemthing gorgeous, have a cocktail and take it from there! You've made a good friend or there is potential for more but either way, you've nothing to lose. Good luck!

Original poster

doigoforit · 11/05/2010 20:05

I've got a feeling he would say no....I can't say why....I feel I have to wait for him to ask me,I'm encouraging him and tbh he is quite assertive,so I think if he wants to ask me he will...any attempt by me could fall flat...

it's a game I have to keep playing for a while longer yet....I suppose time will tell...

meanwhile I am trying to be expressive about how I am glad we are friends,liking him and so on

any tips ?

OP posts:

motherlovebone · 11/05/2010 21:35

check out the body language thing...if he likes you, his body language will give the game away

hellymelly · 11/05/2010 21:45

I'm 46,my DH just turned 38 and we have been together for nearly a decade and a half.Only sticking point at your age could be children,if you date younger childless men and you either don't want any more or are not able to have them.Otherwise there isn't a problem .I would ask him out,I did,no point in messing about!

Original poster

doigoforit · 11/05/2010 22:04

That's true,hellymelly
of course you were much younger than me when you met your dh...I am definitely looking a bit older now...still,it's the actual person not the age really isn't it

OP posts:

KerryMumbles · 11/05/2010 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BelleDameSansMerci · 11/05/2010 22:13

Yep, I can't remember the last time I went out with an older man...

My "whateverthebloodyhellheis" is 36. I will be 45 in September.

Why have old and baggy when you can have young and firm (and as long as he doesn't start thinking that I'll be fine).

Can't you just get pissed at an office party and snog each others' faces off?

Original poster

doigoforit · 11/05/2010 23:16

I will keep you posted

OP posts:

allsweetness · 11/05/2010 23:23

Message deleted

Original poster

doigoforit · 11/05/2010 23:28

btw ...what does blushing mean?

I was thinking either he's twigged how I feel and is embarassed[but surely he'd avoid me then instead of popping up everywhere lol]

or he,you know,likes me after all

we know which it is really don't we?!

OP posts:

motherlovebone · 12/05/2010 10:03

try being unavailable now...

then he will start persuing you (if he is interested)

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