How do you know when its over?

[loopylou6]

Love my DH of 6 years (together for 12) but he has a new job. The boss takes the PISS he works from 7:45 - 7pm plus, also Saturdays. When he gets home, he is understandelby knackered and falls asleep on the couch.

This is not the life I want. If I had wanted to be single I would never of married, and at the moment I am leading a single life.

the DC complain coz they never get to see him, I have spoken to him about this, he agrees but hes too spineless to speak to his boss. I dont think its unreasonable to want him to be home for 6pm?

He says he is doing this for us, I dont doubt him, he is a great husbnad and wnats the best for us... BUT this isnt the best for me.

I feel there is no relationship anymore because he is always so tired, I am unhappy.

My DH usually leaves around 6.30am and doesn't get back till 9pm or 10, often works at home, always on the blackberry and away quite a few nights as well
you think you've got it bad?

Sorry Radiator lady, but I'm not being competitive just sayin it how it is

Well said Ruby...My DH is much the same. It's life. I wouldn't leave him because he's constantly working/knackered. Just like he didn't leave me when I had PND, and looked a complete mess, and went off sex.

Can you only be happy when your DH is around and jumping with energy, loopylou6?

He does get holiday, I just dont know when... This is only his third month.

We are trying to install our kitchen at the moment, but he doesnt get a minute to scratch his arse, He asks the boss for 30 mins to nip to the shop to get the stuff for the tiler, but it never happens.

Also the superiors are nasty, always picking flys. mI just dont feel I want to live like this.

Listen Radiator Lady, I wasn't being catty or not helpful I was trying to show the OP that she is not the only one in her predicament OK?! There is no need to say 'what the fuck' so I'll get your bitchy post removed

I dont fucking care about your situation I am asking about something that is bothering ME its not a competition

really you people drag down Mumsnet

But sometimes perspective is helpful. I don't think those hours are excessive or unusual. 7pm isn't that late.

sorry, that might not be the world's most helpful observation. It is weird that he falls asleep if he is getting back at 7pm. Is his work knackering?

How old are your children? If they are old enough to complain presumably they aren't in bed before 7pm?

I appreciate you feel unhappy but I honestly don't think you've got it that bad and you do sound a bit unsupportive. I don't suppose your dh is enjoying his life that much at the moment and it must be an added burden getting all that pressure from you.

If it is really unbearable for you all, why not explore other employment options, if possible or stick it out for a bit longer to see if dh gets less tired once he is used to it.

I was not fucking being competitive I was trying to help. Please note all the other posters who have said that 7pm isn't late and you haven't got it that bad ok

but those hours are pretty normal....everyone is pointing that out,they arent too extreme

so same hours saturday or half day?

The tile of your op is also a bit odd.

If you really want to dump your husband because he is working hard for you and your family, you might get a bit of a wake up call if you actually go ahead and do it...

You have invited comments on your situation so don't be surprised if some of them aren't simply agreeing with you.

Hey Spero, He is a gas fitter, so it can get hectic.

When I say 7pm I am being generous as that is the earliest he has been home since starting this new job.

He is normally asleep on the couch by 9pm.

Im not here to argue wether Im right or wrong, Im saying that Im not happy.

i dont want to be sitting on my own all day and night, Id be fine if he was to be home by 6... everything has changed, hes just too tired for anything I may have money, but its not good enough if this is the life I have to lead.

so what do you want then??

I've fucked off.

To get on with my life of DH working all hours, having very little holiday, and earning not enough.

Hope you get your kitchen finished soon. I've been waiting 2.5 years.....

But I'm full of the joys of spring because it's now warm, and it doesn't matter that we have no central heating.

If you're so unhappy with your DH working such hours, chuck him out, or leave him.

What I was basically trying to say, is that I wouldn't consider your relationship over based on what you've posted. But maybe there is much more to it than I can read here.

But like I said, I've already fucked off....

OK, a gas fitter, that is a skilled job so presumably he could go elsewhere if current boss is taking the piss. So why not stick it out for six months, so he doesn't look a flake, then go elsewhere.

I am not arguing with the fact you are unhappy, I'm just asking you to get a bit of perspective. I would love to have a husband who was working for me and my daughter, even if he did get tired and fall asleep on the sofa.

It's not great at the moment, but you are NOT sitting on your own 'all day and night'.

You will need to dump him to understand what that is like, and believe me, you will then appreciate it is very different from what you have now.

Cant sort out the tiler as there is some wood needed to box something in or soemthing along those lines

Yes he works full day Saturday and also most Sundays. I am trying desperatly to get a job at the moment as I cant be inside these four walls any longer.

Yes I am asking for opinions, but I really dont need nasty comments, if Id of wanted nasty Id of put it on AIBU.

My thread title which you find 'odd' is because at the moment I am feeling panicked that I am destined to a life of being alone, I dont want this sort of life where I never see my husband. Flame away if you like, but thats how I feel.