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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Went mad at dp last night - no question about me being unreasonable!

80 replies

MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 08:40

We have been trying to book a holiday for weeks and weeks, we can't agree on where to go and I have just ran out of time due to work commitments and ran out of patience with him because he just is so indifferent that it makes me think he doesn't want to go. We are supposed to be flying Fri night/sat morning!

Anyway I finally found some that looked appealing yesterday and sat him in front of the computer last night.

He started looking and demonstrated that he obviously hadn't been listening to a word I said over the last few months (changing the outbound dates to dates that weren't suitable amongst other things)

He sat in front of the bloody computer all night and at about 10:45 he announced that he'd found somewhere that he liked (please bear in mind that I have suggested nearly every holiday destination around the world) and it was the last place him and his ex went on holiday.

Something in me snapped and I went mad, I threw what I had in my hand at him (have never thrown anythign before - ever) and just hurled abuse at him. Found a box of cigrettes in the back of a kitchen cupboard, stood outside smoked a fag whilst he was asking questions about where else I'd like to go (he compeltely ignored the abuse). I just ignored him, went to bed without speaking another word. He sat down stairs for about 15 mins then came up, asked in a real soft voice if I was awake and I pretended I was asleep. Got up this morning and he was asleep, didn't wake him to say bye or anything.

Feel rotten about being a bitch but feel so cross with him still that I don't even want to talk to him let alone grovel.

This probably doesn't make sense without our history so hears a brief catch up..

We split up 4 or 5 years ago after a 2 year relationship because he would never do anything with me. He had another girlfriend who he dated last year for about a year who he went loads of places with including 4 holidays, amongst other weekends away, days out etc. Now we're back together he doesn't want to do anything with me again. Yes I know it's jealousy but I don't understand what's wrong with me, if he doesn't like spending time with me then why isn't he with her or someone else. I just could scream!

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 27/07/2005 10:44

He may genuinely have different goals from a holiday than you?

And his previous gf may have organised all of it and just got his agreement, rather than trying to get him involved. (She may also have had the same taste in holidays as him?)

Does he spend time with you, generally?

TracyK · 27/07/2005 10:46

Isn't there a book out at the mo - 'he's just not interested' or something??
Book what you want - tell him he can come if he wants - and if he doesn't then dump him.
He's obviously not that fussed!!
Don't analyse, pander to him etc etc - get on with your life!!

TracyK · 27/07/2005 11:19

Oooh - I hope I wasn't too out of line Mascara - you've gone quiet - sorry!

MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 11:31

Lol - NO! I was in a meeting. Certainly no need ot apologise!!

OP posts:
MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 11:56

well anger has turned to a major sulk.

I've still not heard from him. MEN!

OP posts:
MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 12:08

OH bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 27/07/2005 12:29

Message withdrawn

MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 12:41

I am currently on the phone trying to book a holiday in San Antonio. I'm so cross with myself.

OP posts:
MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 12:41

Am I doing the wrong thing?

OP posts:
MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 12:42

Nothing left for Ibiza

OP posts:
Blackduck · 27/07/2005 12:44

MOH I thought you didn't want to go to San Antonio? If that is the case - don't book it - IMO if you do you will end up going begrudingly.

MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 12:46

I don't want to go.

but

I am desperate for a holiday and this is the only chance I've got for a holiday without dd this year.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 27/07/2005 12:48

Book a holiday to San somewhere else and say you got confused

ggglimpopo · 27/07/2005 12:49

Message withdrawn

Blackduck · 27/07/2005 12:50

San Franciso????!

Find somewhere you do want to go and book it. Tell him either a. San Antonio was booked, or b. you didn't want to go there!

Fimbo · 27/07/2005 12:50

Try Minorca instead, lovely and peaceful - good for kids and no lager louts in sight. I think you have every right to be angry at him btw.

bossykate · 27/07/2005 12:51

where is san antonio? i take it not the texas one?

if this is your only chance of a holiday then i really think you're better off going somewhere you want to go - otherwise you'll just resent him so much.

Bugsy2 · 27/07/2005 12:52

MOH, if he is very placid and usuallly goes along with what you say. Call him and tell him you are going to book the holiday to X (your choice) unless he has a very strong objection to it. Tell him that you have done extensive research, spent hours on this, you think he will enjoy it and unless he has an extremely good reason for not wanting to go, BOOK IT!!!!
Do not go to San Antonio unless you want to.

Fimbo · 27/07/2005 12:52

There's a SANto Tomas in Minorca!!!

bossykate · 27/07/2005 12:52

croatia is gorgeous.

NotQuiteCockney · 27/07/2005 12:53

No, don't go on the holiday you don't want! If you do, he learns that being a stubborn pain in the butt means he gets what he wants, and you go through the hassle of booking it!

MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 13:00

You're right!

Balls to him, I can't afford to go abroad on my own after I've paid single traveller sups extra.

OP posts:
Blackduck · 27/07/2005 13:02

SO where you goin' MOH?

MascaraOHara · 27/07/2005 13:04

hmmm now that's the problem. To go on my own abroad seems to cost almost as much as 2 adults.

OP posts:
Fimbo · 27/07/2005 13:05

Tell us when and your budget - we will help you look!!

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