husband thinks he is still single

[bubble1]

Am i being unreasonable. 3 children aged 8,3 and 2. husband self employed so earns good money for very little work. but every weekend he argues that as he puts a roof over our heads he is entitled to lie on sofa all saturday watching footie and then play golf on sunday. i am expected to whisk kids away so he can relax in peace. fed up with this now and he does not agrree. should i leave...even though he has already told me that he has no intention of being a weekend dad as it will mess his r and r time up.
i did used to take kids to visit grandma on saturdays, but she has just come out of hospital after serious bout of pneumonia and needs rest not kids racing about so i refuse to take them
absolutely hate weekends now...arent they supposed to be family times.

You're married. Doesn't matter whose name it's in, you have equal right to it

And the children get priority when it comes to residence. Unless he's willing to take on the majority of childcare (hahaha), he'll have to make sure you have a decent home to live in.

bubble, how can it be worse being without him? You are already no doubt brilliant at living on a budget (feed the kids from the child benefit whilst he hoards his money - wtf?) and if you leave the kids will understand that mummy does not put up with any s* any more. And you have a half decent chance of meeting a loving, caring considerate man, of whom there are many in the world.

Make sure you get copies of bank statements and things first though, if you think he is going to try to screw you over money.

You can do this.

ItsGraceAgain is right but, you need advice and support to get him out or leave him. Please get in touch with Womens Aid and your DC's will thank you when they get older.

It's emotional and financial abuse.

Up to you, but he's not treating you well and your children are going to get some seriously warped ideas about being a man/father/husband.

You're his company secretary with presumably access to financial info. Why not take some proactive steps, make copies of earnings, bank accounts, and store key documents like marriage cert, birth certs etc.

And then talk to Women's Aid (he doesn't have to clout you one to be abusive, you know) and also talk to CAB with the info you have gathered.

Knowledge is power. You can then make an informed decision, whatever it is you decide.

If you do the bills for the business, do you have access to a chequebook or paying money in or out of the accounts? If so I would seriously think about transferring some out to another account (if you have one or can set one up), or just taking cash and hiding it somewhere yourself. Then leave. Sure, it's technically wrong but sounds like he is hardly going to play fair anyway. If it comes to it, say you had a verbal agreement that this was a lump sum he was paying you for all the work you've done as company secretary to date.

Plus, I can't see how the kids will lose to if you leave. The only thing he seems to contribute to their lives is money and he can be ordered to pay that after you split. Spend some of the company money on a kick-ass solicitor and don't look back.

Wow. I am sorry to say that your marriage sounds absolutely horrendous. Your children are far more likely to suffer by you staying with this man than by you leaving him.

I cannot believe that not only does the lazy arse not do any childcare/house stuff at the weekend, but he expects you to take your - I mean yours and his - DC out of the house to give him some peace and quiet. WHAT A FUCKING NERVE .

Get an exit plan into place. Try and get some money put aside. Take copies of all ingoings/outgoings (that's one benefit of being his unpaid skivvy - you will have access to the arse's company accounts). Don't act in haste though....don't make it about leaving tomorrow. Plan your exit carefully, get legal advice and take him to the cleaners. I never, ever normally say this, but this twat deserves it.

ingoings? Err, I think I meant to type incomings

take the company cheque book to the solicitors and get all the advice you need.
I think you are being very naive in what you are entitled to. you will hopefully be very surprised.

Start syphoning money off now and see CAB to get expert advice.

You don't have to take this crap.

yip get in that safe pronto - photocopy accounts.

see solicitor to see what your entitled to - i think you would be quite surprised