how can I get him out of the house? advice please.

[strangeitude]

I told my boyfriend he could only come back and get his stuff - he had gone to stay with a friend and wasn't surprised (I had actually told him to get out before this).
He said he would come on easter day (!) to get his stuff then turned up 2 days early blaming public transport. So then he seems to have one thing after another he needs to sort out - this could go on for months (I wasn't born yesterday and have had a lot of boyfriends / lodgers etc before). I waited till he got the MOT on the car and told him to be out by noon tomorrow (unlikely I know but better than having him wait till 10pm or something). Anyway of course he is being as difficult as possible saying I have no right to make him go and I'll have to get the police. I don't see that waiting 'a few more days' will make any difference at all. It's 3 weeks since he was told to get his stuff and not come back, and 2 months since he was first told to go. He is going to whine about his driving licence (which will take at least 2 weeks) and so on and so on.

I own the house, he doesn't. I am looking everywhere for legal advice but it's all too vague. HOW can I make him leave? It could get very nasty and go on a long time if he forces me to take him to court to get him out - and I really think he's a nasty weasel or I wouldn't be chucking him out. He is saying he has a right to stay as he has worked on the place, but the builders who came round while he was away were horrified and thought it looked like he has deliberately f*ed me up as much as possible to create more "work" for himself (ie I could never throw him out - the builders' opinion was that he HAS to go or the house will never be finished and I will be broke). He of course would say he has vastly improved it etc etc you can guess the rest - and in another breath he says if social services came round they would take my daughter away.

I can't wait for weeks for him to get his act together! The house needs a LOT of work to make it habitable by next winter and there is a kid here for gods sake. No builders can come and fix anything until all his crap is gone and I can clear up - they said in their opinion it would be worth me paying £2000 to get his scrappy bloody cars towed just so there is space for all the builders stuff!

The builders are friends and giving an honest and brutal opinion, btw.

I'm reporting this thread because I think it's all bullshit. If you were really bothered then you would be doing something about it rather than just moaning on and on.

it's been the bloody night for god's sake I'm sitting here waiting for a taxi so I can go to the police station. This is the earliest I can get one as this is the middle of nowhere.

What the hell would doing something about it look like to you? There was a power cut all morning yesterday so all the phones were out till after 1pm and then I had a headache and was a bit out of it till the evening, I tried calling the police THREE times last night and I can't get a non-emergency number on my sodding phone.

WHAT exactly do you think is bullshit? Go on, tell me. You think this is made up or something?

Oh and I actually paid for the legal advice I got on Thursday, does that sound like doing nothing?

Have you reported it yet? Have you had the locks changed yet?

I'm afraid it does sound like you have excuses for avoiding doing anything, though that may be completely wrong of me - in which case I apologise unreservedly.

I have literally just got back from town, where the police station was locked with a notice saying to call 101. I had to call from a phone box and they will call me back some time tonight or tomorrow.

I have bought some locks and a screwdriver but I'm not sure they will be the right ones and it's a bit late to be messing about with it today.

You are wrong and I really still don't know what you are on about. Have you looked at the dates and times of posts on this thread? This has all just happened in the past 48 hours or less. In that time I have booted someone out of my house, found they robbed stuff and struggled to be able to contact police. The police are making a report about me not being able to call 101 from a hub phone. I called a taxi first thing this morning and the first company couldn't pick me up till after 3.30pm, as it was the other one had to come 40 miles and wasn't here till well after 1pm because they were so busy.

I ask again what exactly it is you think I should be doing or have been doing that I didn't do? The guy was hundreds of miles away by the time I even knew he had gone and he's not going to be back in the next few hours or even days. There is nobody here, just 3 houses in total. Socially you may as well pick any 3 random households and try to get along and be mates. I don't know anybody else here so I thought a forum might be a good place to get some input and the situation has developed in real time. That's all.

Oh and I am supposed to be working and I did manage to put in an hour or so yesterday afternoon. It absolutely had to be the top priority but I gave up in the end because of stress and a headache, and now I have had to take an entire day just to get some locks and call the police so I will have to do 3 days' work tomorrow as well as changing the locks. So I'm not in a great frame of mind for accusations of just messing about and taking my time.

With respect, if you think this thread is 'bullshit', why don't you just stop reading it? You're not obliged to, you know. Even if it were, what's it to you?

Strangeitude, you don't need to account for yourself to anyone, most people on this thread are listening with empathy and are offering constructive, practical advice or just a bit of solidarity.

Just thought I would resurrect this thread with an update.

The house is still not secure - in fact less since the porch was demolished! I have been very ill with stress/depression but getting better. He came back in september and I called the police 3 times, had to use 999 like they told me to. They gave me another non-emergency number to use as well.

He called again a week ago and I just hung up.

Someone stole more stuff, and people think it might have been him. I doubt it myself, but he did phone soon after.

I finally managed to get assessed by a support worker, who came to the house. She basically freaked out and made an emergency referral to social services for my daughter as she is concerned for our safety, both due to the state of the house and it not being secured. I was surprised how much it alarmed them about the ex boyfriend and the house not being secure, even nearly a year later. They are doing records checks to see if he has a history of domestic abuse etc.

I have been trying to get a social worker for ages, just annoyed it has taken so long to get anyone to actually visit and see how things are.

In general I'm so much better though. Spending a lot of time in a DV forum has helped me pull myself together, after living with that sociopathic freak.

Wanted to say thanks for the support way back then, you were a lifeline.

Over & out ...