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Original poster

Mid Life Crisis

26 replies

baluchi · 04/04/2010 23:37

My DH has just in the last few minutes informed me that he is going to ride his motorbike from England to Cape BLOODY Town, overland. Oh, and he will be crossing the Sahara Desert whilst he's about it.

He is 47 years of age, been married 23 years. To top it all, he will be away from work and his family for 3 months.

Should I put my foot down or just humour him in the hope that this is just a phase he's going through?

OP posts:
NinaJane · 04/04/2010 23:50

Hi baluchi,

I live in Cape BLOODY Town - I'll be on the look-out for a wild-eyed, sun burnt Englishman coming our way in the next couple of months - he'll be just in time for the soccer world cup (maybe that's his real motivation). Don't worry - me and my DH will put him up, feed him some traditional South African meals, make sure his cholesterol levels are high and we'll await your instructions.

BTW - how does he plan to get back?

thelunar66 · 04/04/2010 23:53

this reminds me of a couple of threads last year.

One poster whose DH was off in some overland trip in banger cars to Mongolia.

Another poster who was pregnant and due this June, whose DH was off to India to buy a motorbike and ride it home, via Iran FFS and various other war zones.

I think both ended in divorce or separation.

chrissiejames · 05/04/2010 00:08

call his bluff. tell him that's fine, as long as you get your 3 months away from home once he gets back. pick up round the world travel brochures etc and leave them lying around. the fact is of course, you just wouldn't contemplate such a selfish thing, but maybe it will help him see how selfish he is being.

Original poster
baluchi · 05/04/2010 00:16

Hi

Only just picked myself up off the floor. Just asked him and he said he will ship bike back and fly home. Seems to have it all worked out, given that he's only just told me.

OP posts:
Original poster
baluchi · 06/04/2010 21:46

bump

OP posts:
angel1976 · 06/04/2010 21:50

How old are your DCs? How is he planning to finance the trip and time off work? How is he going to finance your 3-month-round-the-world-trip for when he returns (if you are SAHM)?

Malificence · 06/04/2010 21:54

Tell him to stop pissing about and that NO, he can't bloody well swan off like a dickhead for 3 months because in all likelyhood he wouldn't have a bloody job to come back to and he'd probably die in the process anyway!

Original poster
baluchi · 06/04/2010 21:56

Have one DS. Both work. Should I be trying to stop him achieving his dreams. Worst things happen. Its not like he's off partying for three months, is it?

OP posts:
Malificence · 06/04/2010 22:01

Does he fancy himself as Ewan Macgregor/Charlie Boorman by any chance?

Achieving his dreams? What a gonk.

Original poster
baluchi · 06/04/2010 22:01

Mal. Lol, loved your response. He tells me he can have a career break for three months, so no problem with the job. OK, i'll be honest. Yes, we can afford for him to do this trip. He will have a job when he comes back, i'm just worried about the dangers. DH tells me he will be travelling through Algeria, Nigeria and the Sudan. Personally, I blame that fuck!n Charlie and Euan fella.

OP posts:
Malificence · 06/04/2010 22:05

Algeria, Nigeria and the Sudan, quite possibly 3 of the most dangerous places on earth for westerners - can he afford the armed bodyguards he would need to complete this little jaunt?

DH went to Nigeria once to put some equipment in the Cadbury factory, they needed an armed escort from the airport to stop them being kidnapped .

It's not just a mental idea, it's practically suicidal!

angel1976 · 06/04/2010 22:45

baluchi - Maybe I am being too nice but I don't think it's a completely 'out there' idea... BUT I think it does need proper looking into, in terms of the dangers. Or make sure he is insured to the hilt just in case... And he probably needs some lessons on how to communicate with the wife properly...

One of DH's dreams is to go to Japan. For his 30th later this year, I am planning to surprise him with a week-long trip to Japan without the DCs (providing my in-laws look after them!). I know it's not quite the same scale... How old is your DS?

ItsGraceAgain · 06/04/2010 23:37

Baluchi, I'm all in favour of having Adventures, as long as you can afford it etc. But, come off it, riding a motorbike through Africa at present? Does he ever read newspapers??!

I'm currently watching some dickead ride a (push) bike down the South American West coast - you know, all deserts and mountains but no actual WARS happening there. I can recommend South America, though I did it by bus; if he fancies a bit of guerilla action + impossible terrrain, he could include Central America (risk of crossfire quite high, but not as high as in Central Africa).

Actually, forget all that. Tell him to text you when he can get a signal, give him NinaJane's address, and book yourself a 3-month trip from Argentina to Venezuela. Highly recommended. You won't regret it

iskra · 07/04/2010 15:34

How old is your DS?

I don't know - I am promising myself a trip around South America when the kids are a bit older & I can leave them alone for a while. Travel was an important part of my life before (& since) having them, & I feel the urge for an unaccompanied trip...

How long has your DP had a motorbike? My dad just left my mum, bought a motorbike & is planning a trip from Cape (Bloody) Town to Ethiopia

Original poster
baluchi · 07/04/2010 20:11

Hi Angel

DS will be sixteen in June.

OP posts:
Gay40 · 07/04/2010 20:15

If you can afford it, and the necessary insurances are in place (plus the what if you get killed conversation) I don't really see the problem. I'd start planning my own 3 month trip, and it wouldn't involve bloody cycling, I can tell you

maddy68 · 07/04/2010 20:34

I think you should encourage him to go. Why not? you only live once - if he can afford it and he has a job to come back to then wow -

I would love to do something like that

Malificence · 07/04/2010 20:56

Hmm, armed bandits and militia with automatic weapons, corrupt officials needing bribes , risk of illness and injury / lack of basic medical facilities - what's not to love?

My DH isn't averse to adventure and he wouldn't consider this , he thinks it's a mental idea in fact, he wouldn't even go fully armed, and he is fully competant with weapons ( ex military).

Getting insurance would be damn near impossible I imagine - have you seen the FO advice for those countries?

angel1976 · 07/04/2010 21:05

baluchi - DH and I love travelling and since we have had kids, we still travel but nowhere as adventurous and obviously family-friendly is now our first criteria for any holiday! Your DS is 16, I would be seriously inclined to consider your husband's idea. If he obviously has thought it through properly and has all the insurance etc sorted out (as another poster has pointed out), I don't see why not. It would be different if he was leaving you with a young child to look after. We intend to travel with the kids as much as possible but we won't have any qualms about leaving the kids when they are older with immediate family if we want a couple-only holiday and once they are grown-up (and I think 16 is fairly grown up!). I think they way he has chosen to tell you about it is the problem (dropping it on you like that!), the idea itself might be crazy but do-able (might need to bypass a few countries? ), I would be inclined to let my DH go in the circumstances...

thelunar66 · 07/04/2010 22:50

No insurance company would touch a trip like that.

maddy68 · 08/04/2010 10:01

yes they would My daughter has done much of that - she ended up stayng in malawi for some time - loved it and she was only 18 at the time

I think people that havent travelled much are worried

cestlavielife · 08/04/2010 12:55

sure if you can afford it and child is 16 - why not? not like you left holding a baby.... just get wills and life insurances very well sorted.

yes is risky - but he could equally get run over by a bsut...so long as children involved are not v young then i see no negative here - let him get it out his system then you go off for your three month jaunt....

cestlavielife · 08/04/2010 12:56

by a bus sorri

Kiwinyc · 08/04/2010 15:44

I don't have a problem with it, I'd love to say great, lets do it together, but I've only ever learnt to ride a scooter.

I would be informing my DH that after he gets back I'll be doing my own 3mth trip away at a yoga retreat in India and backpacking around Sth America.

Lots of gap year age young people do this trip on the back of a truck, I would have loved to have done this too but I'm a bit old for roughing it to that degree.

maddy68 · 08/04/2010 22:19

yes they would insure, no problem. My daughter has done much of that - she ended up stayng in malawi for some time - loved it and she was only 18 at the time

I think people that havent travelled much are worried