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Original poster

sex question

60 replies

questiontoask · 04/04/2010 21:23

please can you mnetters advice about your view about sex during your period? Is it something you'd/your OH would never do or does it not bother you?

Sorry to ask this and I have name changed! It's just that for me it's never been an issue and nor has it with my ex partners. I have very light periods anyway.

But my new partner has expressed complete disgust at the idea and it makes me feel like I'm unclean.

OP posts:
EricNorthmansmistress · 05/04/2010 08:44

It's an islamic thing. (I assume DC and BC are the same) DH is also muslim but TBH does lots of sex things that he's not supposed to The menstruation thing is instilled in them from a young age and becomes quite an aversion, which is why I say my DH is squeamish about it. He wouldn't say it's 'forbidden' because although it is, so is other stuff that he has no problem with.

templemaiden · 05/04/2010 09:27

I dislike having sex on my period. My ex used to try to talk me into it saying "It's OK - I don't mind!"

I would tell him that I didn't give a sh!t whether he minded or not - I didn't want to.

My current partner respects my wishes. He told me a story once of an ex who didn't tell him she was on her period and it came as a huge shock to him when he withdrew. Apparently she thought that it turned men on more!!

We have been known to do it right at the end when there is only a tiny bit of mess and we're both gagging for it after 4 days without!

I call it 'ketchup' sex - as in "do you want ketchup on your hot dog?"

damnedchilblains · 05/04/2010 09:41

Geordie it is islamic as eric points out, you're not to do certain things when you are menstruating unless your period goes on longer than 14 days (I think it's 14 it may be 10).

Eric the only thing you're not allowed to do as a muslim is have sex during your period and anal sex. It's not actually as prohibitive as people think

BertieBotts · 05/04/2010 09:58

It doesn't really bother me. But equally I wouldn't mind if a man didn't want to - but I would probably be a bit upset if he found it so repulsive, he could always be polite about it!

I had an ex who liked going down on me during my period I don't think there is anything wrong with that either - but I wouldn't expect it as I know that most people wouldn't like the idea.

SolidGoldBrass · 05/04/2010 10:01

It's very much an individual thing, though. Some women are fine with the idea others feel too physically uncomfortable to contemplate it and some people of either sex are really freaked by the idea of mess (though sex is usually a bit messy no matter how much latex is involved).
I do think that a man is entitled not to want sex with a menstruating partner, everyone is entitled to not want/not like types of sexual activity no matter how many other people don't have a problem with it. However, he needn't be offensive about refusing to do it.

cheltenhamgal · 05/04/2010 14:27

my DP does not like to unless my flow is light, we use a condom sometimes if we are both gagging it doesn't bother me, the sheets will easily wash

FabIsGettingThere · 05/04/2010 14:29

I think your question should be - should I stay with a bloke who makes me feel dirty. Answer - definitely not.

yankbabymum · 05/04/2010 14:54

I prefer not to have sex during my period but that's my choice, would be bothered about the mess! Don't know what my DH thinks about it as I've never given him the option! Each to their own though and even though it might give him the icks it's not cool of him to make you feel bad.

FanjolinaJolie · 05/04/2010 15:00

I'd say each to their own, but if that's the opinion of your new partner and you need to respect his opinion about this.

Unfortunately there's not really any way for him to express his feelings on this issue about it without you feeling badly.

But remember it's not the period he finds disgusting, it's the thought of having sex while you're bleeding.

damnedchilblains · 05/04/2010 18:01

"I had an ex who liked going down on me during my period blush I don't think there is anything wrong with that either - but I wouldn't expect it as I know that most people wouldn't like the idea."

Did you kiss him afterwards..........sorry I couldn't resist

EricNorthmansmistress · 05/04/2010 18:58

You aren't supposed to do oral either AFAIK
doesn't matter to me anyway, thankfully DH isn't bothered about the rules

TrillianAstra · 05/04/2010 19:01

DP wouldn't mind but I'd rather not. I'm not squeamish about bodily fluids in general, but don't want bloody sex.

AnyFucker · 05/04/2010 19:03

On days one and two, I would have to repaint the walls if we had sex during my period

but on lighter days, we occasionally do have penetrative sex, DH doesn't really mind but it doesn't feel as nice to me as I think the lubing properties of blood are not great, tbh

lots of fun to be had in other ways though

Disenchanted5 · 05/04/2010 19:04

We don't, I couldn't relax, its just a bit horrid IMO.

TrillianAstra · 05/04/2010 19:07

So here's the question - is it okay for a woman to think it's a bit horrid (Disenchanted says she feels this way) but not for a man to think the same (Fab says you should leave him)?

Disenchanted5 · 05/04/2010 19:11

DH wouldn't want to do it whilst I'm on either and I've never thought bad of him.

I actually thought it was a bit odd you all did do it

NorthernSky · 05/04/2010 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ThatVikRinA22 · 05/04/2010 19:26

i wouldnt. just dont like the idea, it happened the other week (perfect fucking timing! i came on half way through) and made me feel a bit queasy tbh, blood all over the sheets. yuk.

probonbon · 05/04/2010 19:31

ew no thanks

why blame a bloke for not liking it

but it doesn't have to make you feel unclean even if he feels disgusted

you feel that way, he feels the other, don't change your feelings about yourself because of that

Disenchanted5 · 05/04/2010 19:35

How many women would be happy to shag if a mans penis pissed out blood once a month? lol

damnedchilblains · 05/04/2010 19:41

"You aren't supposed to do oral either AFAIK"

You can Eric, it something we've purposely looked into. It's cultural not to, and sometimes seen as a "perversion from the west" bladibladibla. But it is allowed strictly from a religious pov.

In fact, it is said, a couple can do anything during a womans period except penetration and as long as she wears pants type thing. DH keeps pointing this out to me as a "you can do me" type thing to which I roll over and pretend to snore!

"i came on half way through"

Vicar seriously, I thought that was an urban myth, an old friend once recounted a story to me in which his friend was going down on a girl and right in the middle of it "he broke the sac" which caused him to vomit(which I almost pissed myself at). I swore he was making it up but possibly not

damnedchilblains · 05/04/2010 19:42

Oh disenchanted that's absolutely gross and disenchanting

Disenchanted5 · 05/04/2010 19:45

But bleeding from the vagina isn't?

PussinJimmyChoos · 05/04/2010 19:52

I'm Muslim and so do not do sex during my period..but even if it wasn't against my religion, I find the whole thing anyway!

ifancyashandy · 05/04/2010 21:56

Doesn't bother me and it's never bothered any bloke I've been with. DP doesn't mind in the slightest and I'm usually gagging for it around that time, so it's just as well!!