Could you live with a person you knew to be dishonest?

[WisforWogarts]

If you knew your DH had been dishonest about stuff in the past, could you live with him?

For instance when I first got with him, he was selling something for his ex and he quite proudly told me that he was going to tell her he only got £20 for it when really he got £50.

I have since found out that his ex would never have a joint bank account with him as we was quite likely to "rip her off".

He has lied to me a lot in the past. On more than one occasion he has looked me directly in the eye and said "I swear to you, I'm telling the truth" - only for it to turn out a lie.

Last week his daughter gave him £2 of her pocket money to buy her an easter egg and a milkshake from the shop. He got the egg for £1 and the milkshake for 50p. When he got back he told her it came to £2 and she had no change.

I didn't know this until I brought up casually what a good deal those milkshakes were for 50! her face was a picture.

DH said "it's only 50p" but that's not the point is it??! I'd feel really guilty if I'd done that to my kids.

Could you live with someone you knew to be a liar/dishonest?

Dear me, you and your dh really seem to have problems don't you Wis?

This is the same guy who wants to throw you out if you smoke? What a charmer he is.

If someone was basically dishonest on a regular basis with no qualms or shame about doing so I would have no respect for such a person and therefore no, I couldn't live with them.

So his ex (quite rightly from the sound of things) was worried he would rip her off, and he is ripping off his daughter keeping her pocke money change (WTF!?) - how are your finances arranged, because to be honest if I were in your position I would be concerned!

its all very odd

In the case of someone like your H, the answer would be a categorical No.
He sounds like a right wanker.

Well, my DH isn't quite as honest as me, but I do get onto him about it (eg if someone undercharges me in a shop I will always point it out- he won't) I hate it, and will continue to try to make him feel bad about it.

As for conning his dd out of 50p-that is pretty low! I get mad at DH for sneaking a bit of the kids Easter chocs!

No No No

50p - yes it is ONLY 50p so why on earth rip her off. That is very low imo.

There is always a reason for the lies - do you want to find out the reason for them is the more the question.

If he can so easily lie about the small stuff think what whoppers he could tell if his life depended on it???

He will continue while he gets away with it - his ex obviously would not allow it.

That is the sort of thing that would kill love, I think.

he sounds a complete toss pot. no i couldnt live with a man who ripped his own kids off and sounds like its not a one off. tight bastard.

No, I couldn't live with someone like this. I did have a relationship with a similar sounding conniving little shyster and I dumped him because he couldn't be trusted.

He nicked 20 quid out of my bank account once when I was too ill with tonsillitis to go out and get some money and had to give him my card to get some for me.

He stole 50p from his daughter????

No, no and no again

50p from his daughter and he can't see what is wrong with that?

And you have to ask us?

No. I couldn't and didn't.

I cited dishonesty and habitual lying on my divorce petition from xh.

You never know where you are with a liar. He's probably lying about many many other things.

It's a crap way to live, tbh.

No - we have zero tolerance for dishonesty in this house. We always tell the kids that they can feel good about themselves for doing the "right thing" whether that's handing in a lost item, alerting a shop assistant to under-charging, or admitting they've done something wrong. Your integrity is worth more than anything.

I couold never live with someone dishonest, I have a zero tolernce approach to liening.

And a man who stoops so low as to short change his DD out of 50p!! That is just horrible.

You should make him give it back and appopgise to her.

A lier is a lier, You will never be able to trust him.

He obviously has no morals at all and I would not even speak to him let alone let him spend time with my daughter. If her dad is unfair to her, how is she ever going to be able to trust anyone? Or will she learn that taking advantage of people is ok and adopt it as her life view?

Does your DH have any friends?

Is your daughter his?

Eugh he sounds grimy.
I cant imagine anyone would be able to respect someone like this, imo that would make a relationship impossible.
You'll end up hating him, surely?

It's not about whether I could live with him, more if he would live with me when I didn't trust him. I would then have to control every aspect of the finances and he would be given no opportunity to fuck me over in any capacity.

Um, you have to wonder, don't you; the 50p child's change story doesn't sound very likely. Let's put it this way: I hope it isn't true.

Whatever I may say about XH - and I often do! - he would give his last 50p to the DCs, starving himself in the process, even if they didn't need him to. He's not the world's most honest person by any means, but he believes children are for giving things to, not taking things from, and rightly so.

A man who rips off HIS OWN KIDS?

Deal breaker, for sure.