do i ask him for a proposal? anyone been in this position etc?

[SevernTrentWater]

i split up with my partner because he wasn't showing enough commitment to the relationship and was flirting outrageously with another woman; everytime i've let him into my life he's got 'cold feet' and i'm sick of it. we have 1 child. He did eveything to get back with me to the point of waiting outside my house in the rain for a whole day, my phone didn't stop ringing etc...
so we've talked and he's promised to show me more commitment (with specific things addressed although he refused to let me read these correspondances with this woman i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he's put the brakes on that flirtation) and spend more time with us generaly, i'm worried that once again it won't last though.
should i let him move back in now, or not? I've said i would like a break until he shows more commitment, but he rightly pointed out how can he show commitment if he's not around? Lol, silly me.
How can i ask him to show more commitment?
Should i talk about engagement to him? We do love each other (we've been together 8 years) and if he freaks out at the suggestion i'll have my answer to how serious he is about 'commitment' and whether it's just talk or not right? We do after all, have a child together. I figure i have nothing to lose as i've already walked away from him once before i know i could do it again rather than be stuck in a limbo of never knowing if he's coming or going.
OR should i let him show commitment in other ways first, little steps?

I have no idea what to do for the best, but i have to act now to establish positive changes if our relationship is going to have a future.

He is immature and a very poor father if he has issues acknowledging his own child in public!

I have no clue why you want to be with him, let alone commit to the idiot. Stop making excuses for him and tell him to get lost and work on being a father to his child.

You've been with him since you were 17. You don't know any different. I did this with my 1st BF too (minus the baby) - we split after 11y - best thing that ever happened to me (although it didn't feel like it at the time!)

It's scary, the thought of breaking up for good with him - but this man is NO GOOD TO YOU if he can't "feel like a father" - he IS a father FFS!! Unless he pulls himself together and starts to realise what life is really about I'd get shot of him - he has no idea about priorities at the moment.

Have you looked at it from your DD's point of view?

How would you feel if your father didn't want to acknowledge you in public, didn't want to live with you and your Mum and treated your Mum badly?

STW, the world is full of the most amazing, brilliant people, and you are seriously considering spending any more time with this waste of space tosser? Tell him to fuck off.

What do you think would happen if you turned around and said "Oh, I just don't feel comfortable being a Mum" and just stopped taking responsibility for your children. The idea is awful - what mother would say that? And yet you take this from him. He is as much a father as you are a mother and he can't get away from that or suddenly decide now that he is not ready. He should have decided that before he had sex with you.

Yes he is young, but that doesn't mean that every mistake is forgiveable, especially not without a LOT of work on his part. And he shouldn't need to ask you what to do - he should be able to work it out for himself. If he can't then you're probably not that well suited after all.

This guy sounds like he's 15 not 25. YOu split up with him for a good reason - go with that gut feeling, and find someone who is worthy of you. There are many men out there who are mature enough to understand personal responsibility and love. Just not him. Sorry.

Do you think he has proposed yet?

You probably won't believe this, but some men simply would not flirt with other women. It is undermining you and it is also very bad manners. His mother should have sorted out his manners, not you.