What was the defining moment that made you realise it was over?...

[skinnyhinny]

I love my H very much but not in the way I think I should and although we are actually living in a happy house at the moment I'm sure it can't go on and that something is missing. Am waiting for what that actually is to hit me in the face/creep up on me etc etc

So I was just wondering as a bit of a poll what or when that might be! There's been talk on another thread that there will definitely be 'the moment' that it hits you or dawns on you that it is definitely finally over. I don't mean finding out about an affair or anything as concrete as that but more the 'final straw' Only wondering because I'm waiting for mine....!

incredible stories.
Tales, I am in shock at yours

There were many moments that should have made me realise it was over, but they didn't.

The one that did it was fairly small in comparison.

Ex had arranged to go to the pictures with the OW, who cancelled at the last minute. He offered me her ticket, and I said enough was enough.

so many of these are true "switch flicking" momnets.

Anyone got any idea why?

well done all of you for getting out

So many over the years that just wear you down....
him pushing DD1 in pram on freezing day and I put blanket over her having asked him several times to do so he snatched the blanket off me, shouted at me and pushed me in front of my mum.
all those times out in a group/ at work functions when he's playing footsy with someone else under the table/ holding hands with someone else while i'm stood there on my own like the idiot i was.
him being described as a 'ladies man' in a clients speech and the whole room looking at me as I waited for the floor to swallow me up.
all those times I asked for a bit of support/ practical help with 4 small DCs to be told to 'stop nagging me'.
all the little put downs in front of other people disguised as jokes.
blaming me for absolutely everything that went wrong (eg.he knocks over a drink because I did this and it made him do that and so its all your fault) and taking all the credit when things went well (eg. kids do well at school because I blah blah blah)
him completely disregarding everything I said or felt for years and years.
Switch flicking moment probably when an old male friend said I was the nicest girl he had ever met and exDP was a very lucky man.

For me, it was exdp kicking off in front of all six kids because I objected the way he rearranged the front room yet again because the angle of the telly didnt suit him

My lightbulb moment was him punching a heavy speaker off a unit in same incident, it flew accross the room and narrowly missed our baby.

There had been many many incidents before this one but for some reason this was the one that flicked the switch

Before embarking on a trip to New Zealand for me to meet his parents for the first time, XP told me "not to use any of your big words in front of my mum and dad"... It was hardly a meeting of minds, that relationship...

It sort of creeps up on you, really. Mine are:

letting me down and not saying sorry - ever.
never paying attention to me - only what's in my bank account.
never paying a compliment.
not caring if I'm ill.
never ringing to say what time he'll be home.
pretending to be the big "I Am" and leaving me to stand up to lazy builders etc.
undermining me in front of DD.
not having sex for ages, then treating me as if I'm a sack of spuds with a hole in.

All trivial really, but it mounts up.

Realising my h (51) was lusting after girls not much older, and with similar appearance to our dd (16). He found himself a 19 year old. Sickening and bordering on peodphilia imo

These are awful, mine's trivial in comparison.

Throughout our relationship H was emotionally abusive towards me.

The defining moment was when he was 2 hours late to see the DCs. I was getting excited about it as I thought he may have died, I thought it was the only way I would be free & happy. I was depressed & pissed off when he turned up, like a shattered dream.

I didn't want to be that sort of person - wishing somebody dead.

Well what I have found out today has finally done it.

After moving out,
renting a house,
moving his GF in
dening he had a GF,
Talking about us getting Back together
Admiting he has GF.
Buying house down the road with GF
Today I found out she's pregnant

My stbxh has finaly been caught out and I have realised the lies he has told me and our 3 DC's over the last 9 months

oopps
forgot
Spending all our joint savings on building a happy home for them !!!!

When he said "I don't want a family, the Navy is my family"