How do i cope with my boyfriends low libido?

[notsoscaryclairey]

Hi all,

I'm new here! I'm a 35 year old divorced Mum to two lovely boys. My marriage ended badly due to domestic violence 6 years ago and i was then single until meeting my boyfriend 18 months ago.

He is very kind, wonderful with my boys, generous, funny and basically a lovely man whom i'm deeply in love with.

Our problems (or my problems) lie within the emotional side of our relationship. These have been there since the start but being a woman i thought it would be alright over time.

He has such a low libido but it's more than that. He doesn't like kissing, a peck is the limit, cuddling although he does do this, or sex.

When we do have sex it's approximately once every two months. He doesn't really participate even when we do, doesn't touch me or like to really do much. So as much as i desperately want to make love when it does happen i feel crushed as i'm not sure he's with me, if that makes sense?

If i tell him i love him i get a reply of 'cheers' or 'ta' and if i ask him if he loves me, he says 'i'm alright'.

I've obviously tried to talk to him but i get nowhere and if i push it he thinks i'm moaning. From the things he does, i think he loves me but not hearing it or being sure makes it quite tough, more so i think with the other things too.

We don't live together, he shares a house with two other people, he's not ready to move in yet although he does spend probably five nights a week here out of the week.

As i've said i love him dearly, i really do. Is this nothing major as he says, as we're a great team and he does make me happy? Am i being over emotional? Can i do anything to draw him out of this place he won't seem to let me in to? Should i just drop it and be thankful i have such a lovely man?

I find it hard to believe that a man who was a sexual creature, who 'wanted it all the time' would stay with a woman who he didn't fancy???

In my experience, it is not about the woman not being sexy, it is about the man not wanting sex full stop.

But regardless, surely you can talk to him and he can explain which it is? If the relationship is good in every other respect, you ought to be able to have an honest conversation about why he doesn't want to have sex with you. Then you can get a clearer idea of your options.

Yes, you do need to have a talk with him OP. You may well not get any kind of answer out of him but once you have told him how you feel, if he neither gives you a reasonable explanation (such as, he simply isn't bothtered about sex, he has a physical problem that stops him wanting or having sex, or he 'doesn't think of you in that way') or starts making more of an effort to pay you more attention, then you have your answer, which is that he is either unable or unwilling to give you the relationship you want and you have to choose between accepting what he does offer or ending the relationship.

GET RID !!