Does your dh/dp ever go out and do a bit of a disappearing act?

[thesteelfairy2]

If so, how often and how do you react? Would you be surprised, angry, accepting? How do you deal with it?

I ask as was drawn yet again into a "discussion" with ex about how unreasonable I was when married to him. When he went out he never came home till 5 or 6 in the morning sometimes not at all. He usually went out about 4 - 5 time a month. Sometimes he would disappear on 2 or 3 day benders, longest ever was 5 days. He regularly went on holidays by himself or with the lads.

He thought this was acceptable and says I will never meet anyone else unless I learn to accept that this is just what men do. All our arguments were apparently caused by my refusal to accept this. Firstly I do not wish to EVER meet anyone else but I am interested to hear what other men do.

I am asking a lot of questions like this at the moment trying to find some peace with re to my horrible marriage.

No, nice normal men do not do this.

Good grief no!
I´d be disgusted if he did& would seriously think of leaving.

No, DH has never done the whole disappearing act, not even for a few hours let alone over night or for days. I have known him for 20 years since we were both 16y, and not once in all that time, not even when we were at different universities.

I would not accept him going awol at all.

That is a great analogy. The photocopier example made me lol.

You are right I do have all the answers I need, I also have two amazing dc so even though he is a complete arse he did actually give me the two most amazing worthwhile things in my life. He would never change his behaviour while we were together so why on earth would he turn round now after it is all over and say "do you know what SteelFairy? your are absolutely right I really was a prize turd all that time!" and actually mean it.

Thank you.

Thank goodness he is your ex.

looks like the ex is the exception to the norm - phew!