husband's job

[marantha]

I am writing this here because if I don't I fear I may scream at my husband.
He has just been sacked for not carrying out a proper procedure at work.
I appreciate that a lot of people have been put out of work owing to market forces and I have sympathy for them, but this is not the same. He has brought it on himself.
I know I should be sympathetic but I despise him at the moment, it's not like he's lost his job through no fault of his own- he was in a fairly recession-proof job. I can't stand him at the moment and on one hand feel I am being reasonable but on the other I feel I am being a bitch. Please help.

I don't think there's alot anyone can do!!

How does he feel about it?

Marantha....you are entitled to feel fucking furious

How does he explain himself ?

Is it really a sackable offence?

Should it not be a written warning?

Not defending him for one second, he would be in the shed if he was my DH. You have every right to be livid.

Just wondering if there is anyway he can get that one back?

Can he go in and grovel?

It sounds quite serious to warrant instant dismissal.

I don't blame you feeling angry (and worried) - here's a good place to get it out. What does he say about it.?

YIKES
Sorry that you're going through this?
Was anyone hurt because of what he did? IS there a way back/an appeal?

Marantha, well he certainly has you to support him.

He has been sacked for making a mistake? Or did he do it on purpose? How can you say you are being reasonable?

For crying out loud, have you never f**d up? Have you never done something wrong? Whats next, should you kick him out/divorce?...

Just it's a bit dramatic to come on here and shout about despising him etc.

And I thought my OH was a cow!

I think that there is much more than the work problem. I cannot for the life of me see why you feel the need to spout off about him losing his job, despising him without other problems. Was that your immediate reaction? You are probably angry, but I really think you need to sit down and take a deep breath. Give a bit more info otherwise you will get reactions like poor you and that may not be the correct response. It may be that you are worried about finances etc. Don't just jump on the net and start shouting about not screaming at him when it just may what you need to do, then calmly talk about what to do next

Marantha, don't take too much notice of me, I am having a bad day.

But seriously, don't despise him too quickly unless you have other reasons. People f**k up all the time it's human nature, and if he is unfortunate to lose his job the last thing he needs(or anyone who loses their "secure" job - and I don't think there really is such a beast), is someone supposedly close to him telling him what he already knows.

I could understand you being upset / worried about HIM and finances etc. but that load of vitriol that spilled on to the page was anything but a normal reaction! How very nasty.

I certainly assumed that OP was having a screeeeam on here so that she can speak to her DH more calmly...

why shouldn't she be fucking angry ?

I would be furious at my DH if he fucked up a secure job in this current financial climate...worrying about how you will pay the mortgage tends to provoke an extreme reaction, fgs

and I would expect him to be angry at me if I did the same

I am in a so-called secure job and tbh, it is quite hard to get sacked for not following procedures...so I would think he has done something very stupid and/or negligent

I didn't react in such a horrible way when my DH was suspended and eventually resigned after being stitched up in his last job!

I can remember the shock and worry but I never for one second felt angry towards him.

I doubt very much that he's done it deliberately.

mal..you don't know how this lady reacted in RL...you are making assumptions based on a few words on a screen < channels scottishmummy and loves it >

Blimey - don't you ever need to get "unreasonable" emotions out in a safe way to avoid directing them at the wrong person ? I'm sure the OP knows she will be called upon to support her husband, I'm sure she wants to. But for now she needs to vent.

It was the hate filled tone of her opening post, it seemed just so uncalled for.
That was more than mere venting.

.. can't stand him at the moment and on one hand feel I am being reasonable but on the other I feel I am being a bitch. Please help.

Mal - I don't disagree, but I see the ambivalence, as well. And maybe she has other reasons to resent him, I don't know

If my DH lost his job due to being an incompetent twat I would be spitting feathers and the air would be blue. Marantha's OP would seem tame by comparison.

I'm sure they'll get past this, and yes, we all cock up, but her reaction seems fair enough at this stage.

nah, mal, I didn't see it

not necessarily, anyway, for all we know she could have whacked him and put him under the patio by now, anyways

since she hasn't been back to this thread

The OP was just putting down how she feels - I would be exactly the same if my DH had lost his job because he was not doing it properly. I would be absolutely furious.

Better she ays it on here so we can offer some sympathy than she kill her husband!

Perhaps I'm just majorly hormonal then.

Now if he's been sacked for downloading porn at work or something similar, I could understand it. That actually happened to my BIL's colleague, his hard drive was full of porn and he was selling dvds as a sideline, I wonder how he explained that to his wife?

I just felt sorry for OP's hubby, I can remember how devastated DH was when he was suspended over a "procedural error", it was awful.

Presumably she knows what he did - we don't. Maybe it was something really infuriatingly stupid like, his job involves driving and he turned up pissed.

she has offed him

I knew it

No, I haven't offed him, but it IS the final straw. I've had a gutsful of his behaviour in general and this is the straw that broke the camel's back. No children involved (thank goodness). It's a childless marriage and I've always thought that it is easier to get out of a marriage that is childless than a cohabitation that has children, so I am going to put my thoughts into practice, so to speak. The arrogance and know-it-all attitude he has has gotten him into this mess.
I can't take him seriously anymore. It's not like he has been unfortunate and lost his job through no fault of his own. I wouldn't be here if that was the case. I'm biding my time -thankfully he is not violent- and saving up so I can get out of this mess of a marriage.
Well, if you can't be honest on an internet forum, where CAN you be?

I knew there was more to it than just a husband losing his job, someone who loves their partner doesn't use words like despise.

Why not just call it a day now OP?

Oh dear marantha. Don't know what else to say really. Best of luck.

You poor thing, OP, this sounds grim in the extreme. ANd definitely, the sooner you can leave the better, it is utterly corrosive to live with someone you despise.