husband's job

[marantha]

I am writing this here because if I don't I fear I may scream at my husband.
He has just been sacked for not carrying out a proper procedure at work.
I appreciate that a lot of people have been put out of work owing to market forces and I have sympathy for them, but this is not the same. He has brought it on himself.
I know I should be sympathetic but I despise him at the moment, it's not like he's lost his job through no fault of his own- he was in a fairly recession-proof job. I can't stand him at the moment and on one hand feel I am being reasonable but on the other I feel I am being a bitch. Please help.

In all fairness, dogfish, you really don't know what my husband has put me through in the past few months- texting other women, swears that he wouldn't do anything about it- but I'm not to know that, am I?

I'd be the first to admit I am not perfect, but I fear this is the final straw.
OK, maybe I am venting a bit HERE but inside I am seething quietly when I am with him.

I am halfway through a university course at the moment and, to be honest, I am not going to let him screw THAT up for me, so I am staying put for now.

Actually, dogfish I am supporting myself through this, thankfully, it is only part-time, so I can continue to work.

And no, these women were not long-standing friends and there was CLEARLY a sexual element in his "talks" with them.

So forgive me, if I am a little cross with him. Surely any sane person can see that he has done two things in the last few months that make me think I've had enough of him?

Yes, but in fairness that wasn't clear from the OP.

Now all is clear! So, YANBU.

Were the other women 'real'? As in, were they acquaintances/colleagues? Because if he encountered them through a sexy-text-chat network then they would each consist of a job lot of porn mag pics and a name, and their messages would be being sent by a variety of resting actors, bored SAHMS in need of extra pocket money, hairy truckers and myself all getting 10p a minute.

SolidGoldBrass I appreciate that, but it doesn't really matter, does it? When you read an e-mail from your husband, that he'll "definitely be able to arrange a meeting with you in the next few weeks" to another woman, it doesn't make you love him, does it?

I've married an arsehole, the see-you-next-tuesday won't even help me format an essay I've got to write. Written it myself, naturally, but need help with double-spacing and layout, that's all. He won't do it.
So know I'm going to have to pay for secretarial services cos I'm sick of him and his bullshit. He senses that (touch wood) if I am successful on this course, I'll have greater ammunition and confidence and he'll hate that.

This is why he is reluctant to help me in spite of him being fairly competent in I.T.

That refusal alone (to help you with your essay) - which might take all of 10 minutes - is incredibly petty and nasty. I think you're right, he's damned if he's going to help you on your way to "bettering" yourself (in his tiny mind) because he's jealous and threatened. What a knob.

Who needs a man when you have mumsnet for the techie stuff