Have you ever truly believed you'd never meet anyone?

[littlestmummystop]

I do now.

I've been on 21 dates since I split with awful exP last year and I'm still single. I've resigned myself to fact that I'll only be able to meet someone on internet and these were mainly internet dates.

Most of the men I meet are in their mid 30s but seem very immature for their age. Three told me they weren't interested in me because I had a child.

How many people really BELIEVED they wouldn't ever meet anyone and then did? I need some inspiration.

I've definitely arrived at the place of : 'I won't ever meet anyone ' despairsville. I am here now

I need some uplifting stories..

Ooh, ohh, my sister did!

She was in exactly your position and thought that she must have a life of single-dom ahead of her and then quite by chance she met her now husband - 5 years later they are married, own home, 3 kids.

Thing is, you need to get out of the despair mindset. Because while you are miserable about being single and desperate for a partner, you will put off the nice men and be a magnet for cocklodgers and abusers.
Start looking around for hobbies, passions, interests, maybe new friends who are friends not potential dates, because it's really only possible to meet a nice partner when you are happy enough with your life not to need one.

Speaking as somebody who will 'celebrate' their 32nd wedding anniversary in a few days time - WHY would you even be worried about it.....the 'marriage thing' is, seriously over-rated....IMO I would concentrate on what you have got - being a Mum far overrides being a wife.

i met my boyfriend when i was in the womens refuge!! and i had 4 dc.....

we now have a dc together,5 years on....

dont use dating sites (my abusive,personality disorder ex is on 'plenty of fish' with a plausible profile,even tho he's MAPPA asessed as being high risk in relationships}

get out and about,you'll meet proper people that way!

Agree with SGB, they turn up when you aren't looking. I got dumped while in hospital by boyfriend of 1 year, rebound guy was a complete arsehole who didn't think I was pretty and slim enough to introduce to his friends, so I decided I was going to concentrate on my education/career for the next 5 years and ignore men. 8 months later I met now XH. And more importantly, marrying XH got me to the UK where I met DH2 at work.

How old are you? If you only split with your partner last year, that really isn't very long to be single. I was 27 when I met my first partner, who I was with for 7 years, never even lived together although we had a child.

I finally woke up and finished with him. We had been apart for nearly two years before I met my now fiancé - who I met off the internet - it CAN work! I am 37 and never been married - I thought I was resigned to a life of singledom.

I had a strong of internet dates and two short-lived "relationships" (2 months and a week respectively - lol) in that 2 years.

I seriously never thought I would find anyone. But my fiancé is lovely and was well worth waiting for.

"string" not "strong"

yep, I do.
Sad but true.

Hi - yes I did! I was alone, severely depressed and had a DD, 18 months. Went on a series of EXCRUIATING dates, then joined a dating app on FB poked a very handsome man as a laugh.... and we're getting married in 6 weeks time!

It'll happen, just try and stay positive!

Thanks for your replies.

SGB- I know exactly what you mean, but this is honestly not my case. If I was desperate and just wanted someone, I could've done so as I've had enough offers. But most men I've met are immature or lack what I'm looking for.

I have friends, I have hobbies, I have a full life in many senses.

But I haven't been in love for 8 years now and decided to take action by concentrating on dates for a while, but time and again am disappointed by the lack of suitable men.

I've got to the point now where I just don't believe it will happen.

Which online dating sites have you tried? Also are you a member of any clubs/classes? My friend met a lovely man in a cookery class, and another at the gym. Unfortunately it is about putting yourself out there (hope that doesnt sound condescending!)

I got to this stage after being single for 3 years, not even a sniff of a relationship.

One evening I said to my friend that I was glad that I was single because it meant I could concentrate on the last year of my degree without the distractions of a relationship.

The very next day I met dp and fell madly in love. We are getting married in June.

You really can't predict when it's going to happen

I do, but I am not miserable about it... just a fact of my life, really!

Been single 7 years; one date in that time...

Yes I do believe this now. I'm 48, my last significant relationship ended 3 years ago. I don't like internet dating and although men are attracted to me and I have a few 'friends' I never meet anyone with whom I can have a proper relationship with. It's just the way it is for me and I'm OK with it, I've got used to it.

I don't think you have been single long enough to even think like this. I also don't think you should focus on it.

Sorry I couldn't give you an inspiring story.

Well really you've got to clean your slate, then it all becomes much easier

If you burden yourself with negativity including emotional hang ups from relationships gone bad it will tar any future attempt even if you do bump into "mr right".

Most guys can be blind to a lot of things they shouldnt be, but, pick up very quickly on it if your feeling cynical about relationships, in fact your more likely to put off "mr right" and not put off the a-hole who just wants a quick bonk...

But I don't feel cynical in the sense that I think all relationships are shite or all men are bad etc etc.

I feel open to the idea of a relationship, and I am open minded about the type of person I will meet.

But everytime I have been on a date, and sometimes I've been on a few dates with the same person, I've been let down or discovered something about that person I couldn't live with (and these problems literally have ranged from using drugs, racism or anger issues) or, and this does upset, they tell me they've had a rethink because I have a child!

I just feel it's never going to happen and that I should just forget about it, because my instincts tell me this will be the case now. On average I think I get asked out about 2x a year, but I wanted to increase the odds and chances by internet dating. I've tried 3 paid for sites and most of the men are in their 30s but seem remarkably immature or worse.

I wouldn't be so afraid of internet dating, its really just another way of bumping into people, at least where the intention of finding someone is more up front.

That said most people put up a front on the internet, so, once you've met someone online you still need to go through the old fashioned process your describing of dating them as sussing out what flaws they have, some people unfortunatly take some time to show their true colours.

I wouldn't give up, i think it simply takes time to find someone compatible (compatible not fairy tale perfect).

why do so many people think they wont meet someone again??

is it because you have dc?
or are older?

how did you all meet your partners first time round? mine have been in good old pubs and bars! through friends....if i were single i'd be going back to doing that stuff again i think!

dont give up hope ladies!

I sympathise. I left a relationship when I was 38 because I really wanted a baby and he didn't.

I had to accept that maybe I wouldn't meet anyone, assimilate that cold hard fact and find some peace with it. Then get on with living my life.

The happy ending is I met DP (on an internet dating site, he was about my 104th date I have some stories I can tell you), traveled the world and had a baby last year .

I met my h2b on plentyoffish.com - one of the things it has is you can put whether you have kids or not, so they know up front - then it's not a shock to them.

Not every man is willing to take on another man's child - just one of those things. Some women feel the same although usually in a breakup - the kids go to the mother, so the dad doesn't have them living with him - but it is still an issue.

Well one of my friends met her now-H on Guardian Soulmates, which I have heard attracts fewer knobboids.
I must admit, I am, if I ever bother to think about it, very glad that I have no desire for a couple-relationship. At the age of 45 I think I would have just a little bit of bother finding available men who are not so appalling that no one wants them anyway.

I first started the internet dating thing about 6-7 years ago.My profession is female dominated, and I had been single for a long time. I went on some fun dates/met some nice people, and also some that were so bizarre, I dined out on them for months afterwards!

I became disillusioned and came away from it all. Then, 4 years ago, after an introductory offer was mailed to me, I joined another site. My DH was the first and only guy I met from there. We were engaged after 6 months, married a year later, and celebrated our second wedding anniversary in November.

It's about balance, I think. You need to create opportunities to meet likeminded people-but not be consumed by the need to find someone, ifyswim

I have no children and I am 30 and I have only had one (very short) relationship since I was 23. I put in down to losing all self confidence, gaining weight, working in a female domination/shift work environment.

I go go the gym but really would you be attracted to the fat sweaty girl? No I think not