he says he was "bored"

[isitreal]

Went on the computer today
And found that H has been looking at dating agency Kindred spirts have phoned him at work and he says he was bored
There is also a girls name that he has looked up in facebook and myspace
He says he was looking up old uni friends
He said friend(s) but there is only 1 that he has looked up and that is this lady who is 23 .He says it was the wrong "person"
Yet she appears on Facebook and myspace on our computer history

Was he bored and am I overreacting????

Well, it's possible he was bored and looking up old friends. I can understand looking them up on Facebook/Friends Reunited etc, but it would never occur to me to look them up on a dating site.

What age is your H? Did he go to uni with the 23yo?

What else is in his history on the PC?

Sorry - I've often been bored, but I've never gone on a dating agency website. Presumably you've been bored at some stage - have you gone on a dating agency website? It's a bollocks excuse. You need a long hard talk with him.

it could be... and this is to give him the benefit of the doubt ... that the kindred spirits bit popped up when he loaded something else, as a pop up.

Kindred Spirits is the dating site owned by the Daily Telegraph so if he was on that site it may well have popped up, or he clicked on a link by mistake.

And he may have searched the girl's name and got the wrong one. If you put a name into Mysapce or Facebook it will bring up anybody who is registered with that name, so it could well bring up a 23 year old.

It is a good sign that you could call him and ask him about it. There have been posts this weekend from people who were too scared to ask about it.

I would say that if your relationship is solid, which it sounds like it is, then this could be a storm in a teacup.

I have Googled old friend's names when I am bored, and got the wrong ones.

I am often quick to say "er, you are in trouble there Mrs" when these sorts of posts appear and there are dating / escort sites in a PC history but in this instance I don't think you should be worrying.

He admitted to looking at some profiles on Kindred spirts for a laugh
he swears blind he is not registered

But if he got the wromg girl
Why does it not show that he did it again under the same name
I would I would key in the name realise Ii was the wrong one and try again
Its the same person on both myspace and facebook

I am stunned as to why a married man would go looking on sites like that to ease some boredom. My chap looks up watches and cars, not dating sites.

I would not be at all happy about this if I were you and particularly if there is a history of a particular woman.

Er no, he liked the look of the 23 year old.

Doesn't mean he would do anything - may just be a fantasy woman, but I would not be happy with this.

Add to that the lying (I believe) about the 'wrong person' and I'd be getting really quite cross .

Yup, me too.

ah well in that case, I take it back.

Good on you BBM. At then end of the day, you just don't do it. It is like say the word voldemort!

Others may disagree and say its ok to look but not touch. I personally would snip my mans whatits off if I caught him doing it and he knows it.

We are in the process of going to "relate" at the moment
we have been twice and planed to carry on

He phoned me back from outside work crying saying that he did look at profiles but he did becuase he was bored and wanted a laugh WTF
I wasnt around much this weekend so he had plenty of time to look If it had been porn I could have I suppose understand more BUT this ........nah¨ I believe he was "only looking" but to me that doesnt help
He says he is not a memeber
But when you go in
The password is already filled in with*** and its asking for the username
Surely if he had`nt joined BOTH those sections would be blank?????
He is lying!!!!

Yes hun he is lying, can you access his e-mails as there will be log in confirmation and account confirmation in there?

No the only one I know of is the work one and can not access that

He must have joined must`nt he for the password to come up in and it wants the username????

I read the print version of Kindred Spirits if the Torygraph is thin or full of Martian Amis again.

It can be mildly amusing so TBH I wouldn't read much into it.

Even if his excuse of being bored is true, and he wouldn't actually do anything, I would be very unhappy about this. And I don't believe the 'old uni friend' line either, not for one second.

I'd be having serious words if it was me.

Yes - isitreal, I'd have thought so.

In situations like this, people very often only admit to what they think you can prove. Unless you can prove he would have met a woman - or has done so already - he might think it will all blow over.

I'm sure you're far too sensible to let that happen - you're being lied to. Registering for a dating site is never innocuous.

Yes, computers only store what you put into them and if you asked for a password reminder it will ask you for the email address and if it sends password to registerd e-mail address then he has registerd on there

Have you tried joining the site yourself to see if his profile is on there?

Good thinking WWIFN

You know he's lying. He's already been caught out in a couple of them (cos he's a bit thick). Join the site and look for a profile. That's a very good idea.

He really is an idiot.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Bored is not an excuse.

x

or, enter the name a few times until it asks if you would like a new passowrd/reminder of the username sent to you, then say yes. Maybe he will get the new password sent to him in work. can you access his home email?

I was thinking of joining just to see
BUT now I think I shouldnt have phoned him at work as he has had time now to delete it <strong>if</strong> he had And he has time to come up with some bollocks as to why before he comes home As he knows the "I was bored" line wont work with me
As far as I know the only e-mail address he has is the one at work which I can`t access

Do it anyway. He may not have thought to delete it yet. Or he may not have realised that if you joined you could see it too.

It's worth a try. The worst that will happen is that you won't find anything.

There have been a few posters on here who have queried why their DPs were still registered on dating sites after they had agreed exclusivity. Other posters have reassured them that deactivation can take a few days. I've no idea whether that was comforting nonsense or whether there's some truth in it. I'd join in order to check it out, if I were you.

I agree that you've lost the element of surprise, more's the pity - and that other things are probably being wiped and deleted as we speak. Have you checked the cookies on the PC? You might find other sites of interest there.

YOUKNOW hi

Logged on to see what blokes are in this area and there are 52
some with pictures some without
I cant see that they are him with what is written by any of them BUT then I obvoiusly dont know him anyway and I would`nt recognise the "charm" anyway

Decided to keep the frying pan on the oven ready for his arrival tonight

at frying pan.

There are three ways this will go:-

1. He really was just bored and got flustered when he got caught so lied.

1. He is genuinely looking for a new woman and intending to cheat or move on with them.

1. It was an ego boost and he had no intention of taking it further, he just wanted to feel like he was desirable.

Only you know which one fits him best.

Can you see their usernames? Are any of them based on something he likes? No idea how the whole thing works.

Talk to him tonight. Stay calm. I really hope you get some answers, but something tells me you're just going to get some more rounded excuses (now he's got the whole day to think something up).