Would you date a man who...

[MarquisOfCarabas]

...is still living with his ex because of the kids?

well, UQD, whatever the situation, the Op hasn't been back so that probably tells you summat

a decent person would have come back slightly shame-faced about the "needy cow" comment and explained more

it appears to me that the female knee-jerk reaction to react negatively to a woman who calls her partner's ex such a horrid, judgemental name was quite correct in this instance

me too UD.

People of both sexes can be needy and a nightmare.

But I wouldn't buy that line tbh.

ie staying for sake of kids

anyfucker - possibly right... although I've heard people's exes called FAR worse by other posters on here, let's be honest!! Ex-bashing is something of a sport here...

I have two friends whose parents lived together even though they were divorced. One was due to business reasons (the house was their joint business)they even slept in the same bedroom but in single beds and one was for the children and convenience, they slept in separate rooms. It does happen.

I live with my ex, we sleep separately. I'm not dating, I'm not going to be there much longer, and I'm not a liar.

Don't always assume the worst please!

Yes, definitely!! It is sooooo attractive when a man puts his relationship with his children before everything else. That would be my kind of man - if I wasn't already with that kind of man! They are the best!!

I've been away a few days, I see this post has moved on in my absence...

I'm not actually seeing this guy. He's a friend of a friend, my friend having known both him and his ex since before they split. I don't know him that well and I've only met him a few times at various child related gatherings. I really like him and have been thinking about asking him out (something I haven't done for a while ). I'm nevertheless conscious of the domestic situation.

When I asked him (as casually as I could) why him and his ex were still living together, he said "because of the kids". He did also go on to say that they "weren't too flush" at the moment.

I see the needy cow comment caused a stir. Maybe I didn't express myself well, maybe it was a bit unkind and maybe that's just how I want to see it. The reason I said it however, was because the times I met her (and I admit it was only twice) she was bossy and rude to him and sulked when she didn't get her own way. This seemed a bit out of order to me given it was her playing around caused the breakup. But hey, maybe she was just having a bad couple of days. Maybe he is an ass hole.

They split a bit over a year ago and have separate bedrooms by the way.

well, thanks for coming back

tbh, your qualification of the "needy cow" comment doesn't paint you in any better light, but hey-ho

you see, you are judgemental about a relationship between them, that you are not privy to

it all sounds rather complicated, and if you had any sense, you would stay well clear

who wants to get caught up in someone else's petty dramas ?

find someone who doesn't have such baggage right on his (literal) doorstep...

HTH x

So why don't you cultivate the friendship a little first and see how the land lies properly? I knew of a couple who had split and lived together for a while because they just couldn't afford not to.

I also lived with my ex for a while, until I sorted out a place of my own.

And it's really hard, to leave your children behind. Sure you'll see them when you are arranged to do so, but what about all of those spontaneous and wonderful moments, or when they're sick in the night and need love and assistance?

New relationships and old relationships aside... it's very hard to walk away from your children... motivation for the behaviour of men is sometimes a little more complex than the need to date / have sex.

Not feeling angry or retaliatory, just a little sad that it's immediately assumed that the bloke is a liar... of course, if he is a liar then he deserves the slating... just saying though.

ManSolo - please don't take this to heart. I'm sure posters wouldn't have reacted as strongly as they did if the OP had told us the whole story right from the start. It would have saved a lot of time and crossed wires, that's for sure....

I certainly agree that good men cannot leave children easily - and can quite see that while things are getting sorted out, your situation is perfectly normal. I hope you're able to work out a shared parenting arrangement, so that the children don't live with one partner alone.

Please put people's reactions down to not having heard the full story.

< ahem > well, yes, the only story we heard was that the ex he was still living with was a "moody cow"

nice