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Original poster

Husbands/Partners at Valentines

32 replies

ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 15:16

Ladies, as a mere male can some of you more wisely people enlighten me?

By the way a long time lurker etc

Is Valentines Day a ladies only thing? I never gave it a thought really, just assumed it was my duty to provide the choccies/jewellery etc on the relevant day. It was only reading the thread about good Valentines etc that made me think. One lady poster said about getting her OH whiskey. We have been married 33 years, and in all that time I have never had a gift, come to think of it I have never had a card either. Mind you I have never, ever received a Valentines at all and I am 52, and even if I say so I am not exactly Quasimodo...

I remember going on a long weekend to NYC, and Valentines Day was on the Saturday. Boy did I get it in the neck for not doing the usual...even though we had spoken about shopping in Tiffanys. Like a fool I thought that would suffice...wrong. She didn't speak to me again until the Sunday(which to be honest was no great loss..)but when I said she hadn't got me anything she said it was a girlie day.

Am I wrong?

OP posts:
EccentricaGallumbits · 12/02/2010 15:21

not sure about wrong but where i'd be happy with chocolates, flowers and/pr diamonds DH wouldn't be so pleased.

I always have no idea what to get him and usually end up buying him a double ecker or a caramac and drawing a card at the last minute.

Any ideas what a chap would want? costing about £1.50?

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 15:24

Eccentric,

thanks for replying.

I am not saying I must have a pressie, just being told its a girlie thing.

Crikey I would love a Caramac..I am quite low maintenance

OP posts:
geordieminx · 12/02/2010 15:27

As luck would have it, I have a caramac in my handbag - I'll send it to you if you would like? I'm sure my husband wouldnt mind

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 15:29

geordiemix,

from lurking here I am sure SGB and Anyfucker would mind...

thanks for the kind offer though, much appreciated(wink)

OP posts:
Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 15:30

well the wink bit didn't work very well did it?...doh!

OP posts:
geordieminx · 12/02/2010 15:47

Och, SGB wouldnt mind.. she's a pussy cat really!

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 15:48

not from what I have read, that is one very scary lady....

OP posts:
DorotheaPlenticlew · 12/02/2010 15:52

I would feel like a right cow if DP got me something and I didn't get him anything! Hate that "spoil me because I'm a girl" mindset (apologies to your DW ).

We always exchange cards, and usually at least a tiny present.

MarineIguana · 12/02/2010 15:56

You can still get Caramacs??? Where? I thought they had gone out with the 1970s...

Hullygully · 12/02/2010 15:56

Have you never noticed that the shops are full of cards saying To my darling husband/boyfriend/male companion/ man of some description?

Tell her she's a right old meany and she owes you x amount of years' worth. That should equate to a really quite nice holiday somewhere or some sort of sex fest of staggering proportions.

UnquietDad · 12/02/2010 15:58

Is it a Big Thing for most of you?

DW and I can never be arsed with it. We celebrate our own anniversary properly instead.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/02/2010 15:58

I too don't like that mindset

girlie thing my arse

I bought dh two heart shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme plus a card.

he will spend more on me as he always buys me flowers/chocolates - but we do eat the chocs together and the flowers are in the house. We are going out to dinner and the pub too.

This is more cos its half-term though and not really cos its Valentines.

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 15:58

Hullygully,

I am too busy looking for a card for her to look for the others. Mind you the darling bit would probably stop her in her tracks.

sex fest? I wish..been none of that for over seven years...but thats another story

OP posts:
Hullygully · 12/02/2010 15:59

it's easier to remember than an anniversary. we have never ever managed to remember an anniversary.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 12/02/2010 15:59

Not a big thing, UQD, but a nice little thing.

Hullygully · 12/02/2010 16:00

Well she sounds fun, matey.

diddl · 12/02/2010 16:00

I get my husband at least a card every year.

And at least chocolates if nothing else.

Hullygully · 12/02/2010 16:00

I want to write: have you got MUG tattooed on your forehead, but I don't want to be inflammatory so I won't...

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2010 16:03

Hullygully,

just looked in the mirror, no MUG there but possibly written in invisible ink

I am seriously thinking about another thread but it is one that would be a lot less frivolous than this one.

But no I am not a mug, just been used and abused for far too long now maybe. Lots of ill-health on her part and I think it is time to draw the line. As I said another thread, another time

OP posts:
SawneyBeane · 12/02/2010 16:04

I'm thinking the lack of Valentine's cards is the least of your relationship woes.

Does that sound like a fair assesment?

Hullygully · 12/02/2010 16:05

Cool. Meanwhile, why not get yourself a big old pressie..

Scaredycat3000 · 12/02/2010 16:15

I'm really not into it all myself. I'd love to go out for an evening, but anytime would be nice, no need to wait for one of the most expensive evenings of the year to do it . Not bothered about pressies and stuff, it's turned into a 'Hallmark' day.
I quite agree with Hullygully, get yourself a big old pressie.

WhatNoLunchBreak · 12/02/2010 16:15

Hullygully - I'm with you on ineedabodytransplant treating himself this Valentine's Day. Sounds like you need it, inabt.

How about starting that other thread as a first step?

Malificence · 12/02/2010 16:36

ineedabodytransport,

You sound very unhappy tbh. Your wife sounds a bit erm, selfish to say the least. If nothing else we've always got each other a card and I've had flowers. I bought DH whisky last year and it went down very well so I've done it again , mainly because he hasn't got enough JD to last till we go away for our silver anniversary next month so I thought I'd get him a nice single malt.

I also booked our meal tomorrow , I don't think we've ever been out on Valentines before so I think after 25 years it's about time.

UQD, it's not a big thing for us, no, DH has got me a charm bracelet because he knows I want one, he could have waited till our anniversary but we are both having new rings with it being our 25th. I do think that "not being arsed" as you put it , can lead to complacency but if both partners feel that valentines is nothing special then fine, it's when one person can't be arsed that the problems begin.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 12/02/2010 17:22

things i've got OH over the years range from signed football shirt(the year exdp country won world cup) through to booking us away on trips.

so at it only being for the gils. we choose to celebrate Vday rather than anniversary because we both struggled to agree on the corect date for anniversary.

mind you... he never used to get me anything. just a card and tell me to arrange/buy whatever i wanted myself

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