Husbands/Partners at Valentines

[ineedabodytransplant]

Ladies, as a mere male can some of you more wisely people enlighten me?

By the way a long time lurker etc

Is Valentines Day a ladies only thing? I never gave it a thought really, just assumed it was my duty to provide the choccies/jewellery etc on the relevant day. It was only reading the thread about good Valentines etc that made me think. One lady poster said about getting her OH whiskey. We have been married 33 years, and in all that time I have never had a gift, come to think of it I have never had a card either. Mind you I have never, ever received a Valentines at all and I am 52, and even if I say so I am not exactly Quasimodo...

I remember going on a long weekend to NYC, and Valentines Day was on the Saturday. Boy did I get it in the neck for not doing the usual...even though we had spoken about shopping in Tiffanys. Like a fool I thought that would suffice...wrong. She didn't speak to me again until the Sunday(which to be honest was no great loss..)but when I said she hadn't got me anything she said it was a girlie day.

Am I wrong?

agree with other posters the op's wife is a bit.. em.. yes.. selfish as described. regardless of ill health. it's selfish to want a gift herself and make absolutely no effort to return the kind gesture herself

I don't think that valentines is that special tbh.

I certainly don't expect gifts, exspecially this year as my darling other half (gr) is going home for his twin brother's surprise birthday party tomorrow and I won't see him until Weds (missing both Valentine's and his 21st birthday, which happens to also be pancake day! cheeky sod) and I certainly won't be getting him anything as I'm skint! He won't even be getting his birthday present yet!

Saying that though, I would like to actually spend valentines with him and do something special like make a cake or something but that's about it. I'm not going to let a stupid holiday manufactured by the gift industry rule my day!

Awww

DH and I don't bother with VDay. We used to but we don't now.

FWIW, when we did do it it was 50/50, not a 'ladies day'.

DH likes VD, he buys a nice pressie and then expects a shag for his efforts
He thinks buying a gift gets him out of being thoughtful, considerate and romantic...

We're not really into V Day, but I always get him a card etc. WHen we have gone for dinner etc (not this year as first child is on the way so we're saving) he has always arranged it, and I'll admit he tends to spend more than me. (He'll buy dinner, flowers or whatever.)

But I will always do something for him, card,champagne or whatever.

I have to say that I have told dh not to buy a card this year.

We bought cards at xmas for each other, and it just seemed a bit...daft? IYKWIM?

"To minx love Mrminx"

"To mrminx love minx"

Card opened, put on the side for a couple of days, card put in bin.

Its not that we cant afford it or anything, just seems like a bit of a waste? I'd rather he spent the £3 on a nail varnish/bar of chocolate whatever. I know this makes me sound like a complete mercinary.

I have however been out today and got us some scrummy food (lochmuir fishcakes, fillet steak and ingredients to make lemon mousse, and choc dipped strawberries), so we can have a nice meal tomorrow night.

I agree that valentines always seems a bit one-sided, flowers/chocs/perfume/jewellry for woman but no real equivialent for men.

Oh and asda sell Caramacs if anyone is interested!

I tend to take in it turns with my DH for valantines. Last year I cooked him a really intricate dinner-this year he's doing something (dunno what yet). I'd always get him a card and write something thoughtful in it