Have you ever broken someone's heart?

[wannaBe]

When I was fifteen I went out with a guy who was five years older than me.

I was his first ever gf, and we went out for just over a year. The relationship basically just reached a natural progression and ended because I grew up and... well he didn't.

Or so I thought...

So a few years ago I regained contact with this guy through email. All above board, just chatty sort of "how are you, what have you been doing for the past nearly twenty years - that sort of thing." So it transpired that he'd never had another gf since me, and is now in his 40s and still lives with his mother. .

So we exchange emails every few months or so..

And then one day he found me on skype and we had a text chat...

And he started talking about the past and how he's amazed that after such a nasty break-up we were still able to talk all these years later. And I was like this. nasty break-up?

And it transpired that even though I had just ended a relationship, he thought that I was the one that he was going to spend the rest of his life with, and that he'd thought it was a really bitter break-up and has never felt the same about anyone ever since and never felt he could ever fall in love again.

And here was me thinking that it was just something that had run its course.

So - have you ever broken someone's heart?

Scotlian how very sad...he does sound like he had some deeper issues.

If there is one thing I can't bear it's emotional blackmail. However people do do stupid things when they are young...hope he grew out of it and is a bit happier now!

Scotlian, that does sound sad. But also a bit like something out of Adrian Mole... Teenagers can be melodramatic, eh. I'm sure he looks back now and cringes.

twice that i know of.
one was a (to me) holiday romance on a greek island when i was 16. he was in his 20s. I had a blast for a fortnight, he was very romantic and well off and handsome and kind. I wept on the plane home and thought no more of it. Jackie magazine had prepared me for holiday romances....
He rang me every night and wrote love letters weeekly and sent me gifts. This went on for months and months and was very gratifying.
Then I got a phone call saying ''how far is your town from london?, i come to learn very good english, then you can come home with me and we will marry and my father will open a new restaurant for us....''

I panicked and told him i was engaged to someone else.
He cried down the phone to my mother
And several years later when my parents returned to the island, he recognised them and showed them a picture of me he kept in his wallet. he told them I borke his heart.
Love at first sight or complete weirdo?

Thanks Flight. I was a bit when I read the initial post. However, the few ex's of dh I do know I actually really like so I think I'm OK! [fingers crossed emotion]

Oh boy Molly, I'd have gone for it!
Actually that's not strictly true, I would have freaked out also. But NOW I would go for it!

Flaming I am sure it isn't your DH. Loads of people have skiing stag nights.

FA, on bad days, I do sometimes ponder what might have been...
But two weeks' rampant sex in the sun romance is hardly the basis to build the rest of your life on

yes

but should add they probably had a lucky escape from me, though they didn't know it, haha

I don'think you chose to fall in love - I think it is something that "happens" - in the same way that you don't "chose" to get chickenpox. The few times it has happened to me, it was like being hit by a thunderbolt - the classic "coup de foudre". Nothing whatsoever one can do about the feeling - entirely involuntary. In my experience, it always happens at the wrong time and with the wrong people so ultimately has been doomed.
But it is a very powerful feeling.

Real love is different, in my opinion, although I am sure the two can co-exist, for a bit. But I think the "falling in love" thing is relatively short-term and either burns out when the rose coloured spectacles have come off or, hopefully, develops into something more like proper love.

once. felt bad about it ages ago but not any more.

i was choosing between two guys at 20, and went for the more reliable of the two. 6 years later i was back in dublin and foolish looked up the other guy who'd just come out of relationship. had a fling, and he was so glad i'd looked him up as he'd just split up from somebody, and then I changed my mind and said see ya again. I think he was pissed off and hurt. gives guys a slight taster of what women routinely go through though i think.

That formula needs some tweaking. It can be devastating to split up from somebody you've been with 6 months and you can shrug splitting up after 12 years. It depends.

Perhaps some sort of inverse proportion with first months weighted? and the later years carrying less points.

some mathsy person tweak that formula please.

Sorry but I am PMSL at attempted-suicide-by-Nutella, that is the most magnificently crap gesture I have ever heard of. I bet he grew up into a goth.

@SGB

I had a gothy Byronesque b/f threaten to drive off a cliff over my ditching. The effect was rather spoiled by him telling me: ''I nearly thought about driving off a cliff. But I love Loki (his V-dub car) too much for that...''
Mind you, he was the one who wanted to call our (unborn) children ''authentic'' ancient anglo-saxon names, like Krudd and Cnute and Grimma.
He was a poppet though.

I am now musing about other really rubbish ways to try and impress someone with the depths of your crapness unrequited love.
The If You DOn't Love Me I'll...

Drown myself by sticking my head down the loo and flushing repeatedly

Paint myself bright green and dance about in the Rangers end of Glasgow football pitch

Jump out of a ground floor window, stub my toe and be carted off crying to my mum's house?

have namechanged

I was 18, just going to uni, had been with an older lad (8yrs senior) on/off for 3 years. He said he wanted to move his job and buy a house near my uni .... pretty scary thought for me aged 18 ! I bottled it and finished with him. Over 10 years later, I wonder what could have been. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY VERY happy with my DH and the wonderful life I have, I just wonder. I believe he was gutted and he is still single, living a bachelor life. I "stalk" him on facebook as he is a friend of a friend still, but really don't have the guts to contact him - guess I'm still too immature !

Don't really know why I've put this on here, just still feel guilty I guess. Sorry to the chappy involved.

Oh I had (among the ones I don't count as heartbroken) one who, when dumped, said he was going to hang himself by tying a belt round his neck and the other end to the door handle - the handle? - and then demonstrated it to me.

I had dumped him (after something like 2 months together, we were approx 16) because he had told me my sister was so much hotter than me and he would like to go out with her instead if possible

I wasn't worried and oddly enough he remained alive. (He was a goth)