My dad's and much younger woman

[mebythesea]

Hi

I am posting about my dad who I am really worried about. He is in his late 60's and hasnt been in a serious relationship for many years. A few yrs ago he had a fling with a woman he met on a dating website, at the time she had two toddlers both by different men she had met on-line.

I recently found out he has started seeing her again and she now has 4 kids all by different men she met online! None of these men are 'on the scene' and she lives in fairly impoverished conditions.

This woman is over thirty years his juniour and by what I can see very irresponsible and a dangerous person to be involved with.
Now I'm all for him getting out there and meeting people, having fun, but this woman seems like trouble to me and I'm really worried that dad is going to end up getting her pregnant too. And he isnt one to shirk his responsibility so could potentially end up having to support this woman and possibly 5 kids!

On top of this he has just had a big windfall and is also due to retire next year with a huge pension, so will be fairly well off, and so a possible target for someone wanting a 'sugar daddy'.

I have tried to voice my concerns to him but he got embarrised and wouldnt talk about it.

Am i right to have concerns or should i just let him live his life?

Any one out there with any ideas?!

Bobbi, i get what your saying but i can also say that i had my rose-tinted goggles removed by a good friend who 'stuck her nose in' to one of my relationships and thank god! she made me see the light and see that the fella i was with was a big drain on my life. i think i might have got in way over my head if she hadnt givenme a good talking too.

And since we split alot of my other friends said, " yeh couldnt see what you were doing with him" if only they had spoken up sooner!

but maybe it's different with friends, you can roll with the punches, if its family it can all get a bit messy.

Madamim, I wish I had some words of comfort for you - I know how much it hurts.

I have nothing that was my mothers, not a damn thing. My sister has her engagement ring so that will eventually go to my DD, no-one knows what happened to her wedding ring unfortunately.

It's devastating to realise your father puts his new partner and her family above his own children. His lovely step daughter, went through his pockets as he lay dead on the floor of his flat.

I can understand you being totally creeped out by him being with someone younger than you - the thought of my DD who is nearly 20, being with a man that old, well, it sickens me tbh.

thanks Malificence, its good to know that there's people out there who share a similar view, I'm too embarrassed to tell people. My dad is older than her dad, if my dad had something as in he was charasmatic etc, then I could understand, christ I'd say yes to Brad Pitt and he's around my mums age - lol, but my dad isnt.I dont know there relationship seems false I've never seen them have that knowing look, or have their personal little jokes, something is very strange about their relationship.

oh my god madmim i just saw your post, what an awful story! i'm so sorry for you. your dad sounds as if he's been well hookd... it is kind of what i'm worried about. that he 'loses his head' to her and cant think rationally.
Has he said why he's giving all his assets to her? Cant you ask him for some of the family treasures? i mean whats she going to do with them? i wouldnt even think of having her at your wedding tbh.

why is she so rude do you think?

for your and his sake i hope that it fizzles out sharpish.

He started seeing her just before my dd was born, while he was in another relationship, with a brilliant woman, who was going tobe my dd grandmother aswell, but he ended it tobe with the younger one, they've been together nearly 4 years.He's told me that everything goes to her and wont say why, I've spoken to his mother about it and she wont hear a bad word spoken against him, so theres no hope there, the only way my dd will be left with something is that my cousin will keep something for me when the time comes.

Her reasons for being rude I have no idea, maybe she's threatened by me, have no idea because I am most definitely not daddys' little girl, its my brother thats the blue eyed boy. I really wish I knew why because she has dd and I would like our dd tobe able to play together, but for some reason they always have a reason to say no.

I've also found out from my cousin, who babysits for them, that the part of town they go to is swamped with swingers clubs.When my cousin looks after her little girl they practically disappear for the weekend, they turn their phones off, they dont give a contact number.I'm just finding it emmbarrassing tobe honest, in that my father is basically rejecting his son and daughter for this girl and he doesnt care who knows.

families meh!

MY 65 year old has just had a baby with a woman over 30 years younger than him. I certainly not embarrassed about it, why should I be? However I am distressed and sad about it, especially as they have now moved over 300 hundred miles away, as my father had to go back to work to support his "new" family.

But what can you do?

As someone said there is no fool like an old fool.

Hear hear. And it will come back to bite them in the bollocks sooner rather than later....

My friend (30) had a relationship with a 60 year old. He was rich. My friend really loved him. He tried to buy her gifts, but she did not want them. her own stuff. She was not rich, and could of course not buy the stuff he wanted to get her, but she did not want it to be about money.

I do think that some posters on here have an issue with the idea of their fathers Having Sex. Yes, sometimes a younger woman dating an older man is a manipulative gold-digger - but sometimes it's a mutually-agreed transaction and neither is exploiting the other, they are both getting what they want and happy with it, in which case it's no one else#s business.

well i dont have a prob with my dad having a sex life, thats fine, am just worried about the potential concequences and him taking on a whole new family at this late stage when he should/could be chilling out and spending time with his grandchildren.

a good doctor friend of mine said she is shocked by the amount of people in their 60's and 70's reporting std's. it seems that they are all still enjoying sex, but not very responsibly. there is a naievity about their attitude to sex, and that can transfer to a naievity about contraception in general... and making babies.

that's it in a nutshell SGB it's a transaction. But what if the younger partner realises it's a transaction and the older one thinks it's love or attraction?

ps, I admit straight away that if my dad was seeing a woman who was closer in age to ME than to him I would find that really quite odd. It sort of upsets the natural order. I would feel, how can my father feel paternal towards me when he is shagging women my age..... It would be hard to accept and I hold my hand up immediately and say bleurghghghgh

madamin, omg,,,,, i can't believe he would pass on his mother's jewellery to his gf, not to you.... it'll be worthless to her, and if not worthless, worthless to her grandchildren, but if it stays in the family it becomes more valuable every generation.

so sad. I'm sorry. I hope your father might be persuaded to give her an argos voucher instead! let her pick one of Elizabeth Duke's finest rings!!