Is he entitled to my generosity or am I a fool?

[nevernever]

Brief back story

DP has been unreasonable in many ways and over many years - mostly controlling behaviour. This he has recognised and apologised for, vowed to change but although there are improvements, he still is 'difficult' sometimes.

As a result, my feelings have changed. I no longer trust or feel close to him and I don't want sex with him and I have told him I don't see a future for us together.

He is upset/annoyed but has agreed to move as soon as he has some money (he doesn't work ATM and my small income is just about keeping us afloat) I admit I resent the fact he isn't working but have agreed I will give him some time.

However, he still complains I show him no affection/want to have sex and this seems to be his main point of concern. I have pointed out my reasons for this and don't think he should be making an issue or creating bad feeling regarding my feelings towards him now.

I don't want him because he has treated me badly. I have agreed to let him stay long enough to sort himself out. Surely I'm not expected to put up with him blaming me for making him feel 'unwanted'?

he doesn't have any friends or place to go because he's a twunt.

not your problem.

good advice kicking him out friday morning.

police less busy then, too, in case he gets nasty.

I like this idea!! Ha ha!!

Real men work and support their partners/families.

Send him back to his mother's.

Sorry for the hijack but, bit of a sweeping generalisation there NonnaMum. DH is a SAHD and is a 'real man'.

Anyway, what I can't understand is you've effectively split up and he still expects to be intimate with you. That is ridiculous.

Are the dcs his?

MorningTown - SAHDs ARE supporting their families. I was referring to OP's exP who doesn't want to contribute to family life but does want a bit of free nookie.
No offence to your SAHD or any others.

Did you get him out this morning, OP?

Still not gone!

Is apologetic(ish) and says he's keen to leave now as soon as money arrives.

He now says he will be out by Weds which is the day he will receive his money in the bank...we will see.

I know I appear a real 'soft touch' but as long as he's helping around the place, I can wait it out. Also, he has a new job starting the week after next, in a different part of the country and most of his stuff is packed up, so it's looking promising.

Good luck. Hope it all works out in this complicated, imperfect world we live in...

Make sure you change the locks, or I guarantee you you will come home and find him wanking on your bed.

Sounds to me like he is getting off on the thought you are around and intimidated (which you are, or you would have cheerfully turfed him out, whether or not he had money and somewhere to go).

ninedragons- Lol at you! Wanking on my bed!
And thanks NonnoMum for your support. In fact, thanks to all of you who have made me realise he is behaving in a totally pathetic manner.

I did show him this thread and the wanking has stopped! I think he realised how his behaviour was truly pissing me off and not, as he thought, exciting me!

He definitely likes to think he has the upper hand in this situation but really, it IS me who's calling the shots and I look forward to having my life back very soon.

I just feel the easier I make his departure, the easier/quieter things will be afterwards for me and dc.