I did it!

[roxi09]

You might remember I was on FortheBest's thread talking about my abusive relationship.
Well I'm out...it's early days and things are up in the air at the moment. Police are involved and I'm in a safe place but I've done it

Wow Grace, you are so awesome.

It's so true.

I don't want to turn your harrowing experience into a cliche roxi, but almost every abusive DH we ever discuss on here threatens to kill himself when faced with loss of control over his victims.

He's following a time worn script. He almost certainly will not end his life, and in the very unlikely event that he does, it is absolutely not your fault.

Eveything he did, he did of his own volition. Now he is to pay the consequences as laid down in UK law. You are the victim here, not him. Keep telling yourself that.

I got my non-mol today so the contact has to stop, hopefully things may get a bit easier from now. I didn't want SS coming down on me for not seeing it through, and feel less vunerable now, he also has bail conditions not to contact me and has been offered help himself.
It's been an absolute rollercoaster of a day, and I'm glad it's over.

oohhh what a relief roxi...well done for sticking with it

things can get better now, not easy, but better

if he breaks the order...get the authorities to come down hard on his head

stop feeling sorry for him...this is all his own fault

we can all feel sorry for these men..but that just gives them carte blanche to fuck with our heads

I do not know your story, Roxi but from what I have read on this thread, you are an incredibly strong woman, and a fab mum. Well done for getting yourself and your DC out of there.

Don't feel sorry for him, he made his decisions.

Thank you so much for the update, Roxi! Well done. Phew!!

Sleep well. Wake up ... safe
xxx

That's just me though AF, I always put myself in someone elses shoes.
I'm not hard enough I know that's my trouble, but I still showed him he couldn't keep treating me that way without consequences.

Aw thank you ladies

roxi...you need to put yourself in your own shoes

and your dc

that's all you need to do...and you have, so now keep it up

well done x

Aw thank you ladies

sorry don't know what happened there.
Yes me and my babies (they are quite big babies), are going to have a good life and hopefully in time things may become amicable which is all i wanted in the first place.

Well done and well done again! You have done absolutely all the right things.

He won't kill himself BTW tossers like him are never so obliging as to die and get out of your hair.

Yesterday was quite a good day, didn't have any appointments or hassle at all.
I'm going home hopefully later on today...he told the police he will move out to another property today and once he goes I will go back.
I'll get the kids back to school tomorrow and start looking for somewhere to rent (I want him to have the house as a base for the kids to be able to come and go as they wish, won't be much good for them if he is in a one bedroomed flat).
My only major hurdle is that he is still convinced I'm having a blip and will go back to him but I suppose a bit of time will help him to realise I'm not.

And it is bloody brilliant not to have to watch stupid football on a sunday!!

Well done

"He won't kill himself BTW tossers like him are never so obliging as to die and get out of your hair." So true SGB

He is being predicatable and following a script, they are all disappointingly and astonishingly alike.

When you go back get all your locks changed.

Can't change the locks I'm afraid unless I manage to get an occupation order (we own 50/50). I went for one on friday but they wouldn't grant it due to him not being there to argue his case.
I have to go back to court next week if I want one.
Have a really strong chain though and that's the first thing that went on when I got home.
Ha I'm on my laptop in bed with a glass of wine...something I never would have been able to do if he was here!

Well done, roxi, really pleased that you had the strength to go through with it all. Your kids will be so proud of you when they are old enough to understand.