evil ex tried to con me into marrage and is illegal in the uk help what do i do

[kurves]

This is really complicated but i need some support that i have done the right. A couple months ago i dated a guy that i knew from way back this was in august it was great then i noticed after a week in he was telling me that he loved me . i had been in a abusive relationship before and read in a book that i was given about abuse that this was one of the signs when they come on really strong . I mean he was nice to the kids wouls make me breakfast in bed everything give me the affection i needed i thought this is great i am so happy he was so considerate and we had a really great sex life . then he said to me one day that he wanted to spend the rest of his life wit me. i thought shit. then he said he wanted to get married then i found out that he was a illegal imagrant and a overt stayer in the uk.i took action.
i tried to use my brain on him to work him out i said to him that i would marry him but in 3 years time then i would have got to know him better and we would have built a foundation that would be crucial for a successful marriage. then i found a letter that said that he was 27 years old had been in the country for 6 years and was to hand himself over to immigration for deportation.
when i bought this to his attention the guy slowly started to distance him self from me with holds sex and got really rude hanging up phone on me and putting me down. Now he was not5 working so at the time i would give him food helped him fix his car and made sure he was ok but as soon as i found out his status i told him that he needs to get a lawyer to sort himself out but i will not be marrying him as i worked out what he was doing.he dumped me . then he would call me and say i am so broke i got no money my car needs insuring. i ignored him and kept telling him that i was busy . then i got a call from him saying that he had arrested by the border force and that he had to sign on at the police station i and that he is going to pay some one to marry him and sort himself out as he has no intention of going back to his country . he has started to befriend his other children's mum who he mentally tore to shreds and play the good father so that he can get his papers. i do not understand why he is telling me this i realise that he just wants to drive me crazy so much more has been done to me by this guy he said that he does not want me as he is moving on to bigger and better things i thought we are not together. i really think his mad but i feel so stupid to allow a germ like this into my life to try and do me over.he wants to pay some one to marry him which is totally wrong what do i do . do i tell the uk border force which i do not even no how to do or do i just forget him its just that this guy as been abusing both his kids mum and me and i feel that he needs to be chucked out the country . i am so angry at the moment been i tears help what do i do.the next thing is that his children's mum one of them he has been beating up . i said to him that you tried to use me he said that he is not like that no one will believe me as everyone knows that he is a nice person. i said the classic talk of a abuser. please give me some advise as right now i just want this disgusting piece of rubbish gone. sorry about the long post .

he sounds like a waste of space.
you are worth better than him.
Forget him, break all contact, change your phone number if you have to.
As for the other woman, ther's not a lot you can do is there? If she is being assualted by him, then she will have to report him to the police.

You are better off without him in your life.
Do not give him a second thought, you have had a lucky escape.
You need to concentrate on your family and look to the future.
Good luck!

You don't have children with him, you don't have any financial commitments together, do what purepurple said. Even if you still have feelings for him/ need answers etc you won't get them by staying in contact. Talk it through with a counsellor maybe?

Tell the border agency if you want.
But getting the fvck out of there with your kids should be your priority.

Yes, he sounds like an abuser.
Yes, have nothing to do with him.

It's up to the other woman if she wants to keep her children's father in the UK, or if she presses charges for DV, which may result in him being thrown out.

You can tell the authorities your suspicions that he may be about to marry for papers, but he will probably say that you are a jealous ex. Also, his new wife will presumably stand by him.

Just leave him alone- there is no reason to have anything more to do with him.

It will be really hard for him to get married as an illegal, as he will have to apply to get a certificate of approval from the government if he wants to get married in the UK or he will have to return to his home country. Also the woman he has chosen to marry will have t be financially stable, earning a fair amount of money to convince the authorities to give him a visa (say she had 1 child, she would have to have £700 left over after rent and utility bills to be financially viable, more children she has, the more money she needs to have over). If you have true fears, then DO report him to the UKBA, they take their time but they are very likely to act on it. If you have a spare 45 mins, then I'd recommend you log on to youtube, look for 'uk border force 24-09-09', this is an episode where an illegal is caught when he turns up to get married, and a sham marriage is also prevented. Enjoy.

he said that he wil marry a person from the eu and will pay them. he is not yet married.

None of your business.

You realised what he was up to, I'm sure someone else will..

Change your fone number, and stop all contact.

I have cut ties with him but been so hurt and upset that i allowed this to happen to me when i met him he was not like this he is a totally diffrent person what is sad for m is tha it has taken me 5 about years to get over the abuse i suffered from my kids dad and then the one time i decided to try and love again this happens i think i may just stay single and become really selfish just focus like i had been before this shit came on my kids and me . its sad i just want him deported cause where he is going he will suffer trust me he has nothing.

RING THE HOME OFFICE. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

It IS your business. It is very hard to get a deportation order on someone, actually.

He's too dangerous to be in the country.

Regardless of what he did to you, he needs to be deported.

UKBA.

www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/contact/contactUKBAtoreport

Thank you. oh i watched the programe on u tube and i did laugh but that man is something else he knew that he had ben here for 8 years like the rubbish i no .

Expatinscotland thank you i feel that he will just go on and continue until he gets what he wants to mess up people i hope that he does get deported.

'Expatinscotland thank you i feel that he will just go on and continue until he gets what he wants to mess up people i hope that he does get deported.'

he will if you tell them where he's hiding.

he won't be able to marry because he's got a deportation order out for him.

if he goes to registrar office to apply to marry he has to show he has a visa valid for greater than 6 months.

he already has an order out for his deportation.

he's actually on the run right now as he didn't hand himself in.

the police could detain him as well.

Quick technical thing, unless someone has been in prison, they don't get deported, they get 'administratively removed', so he will have a removal order against him.

Also expatin, you can be illegal and get married to an eu citizen in the uk, you just have to apply for a coa first, which the government have to grant them because its against their human rights not to, but just because they are allowed to get married doesnt mean the UKBA won't remove them before they are able to (they have the right to get married, but not the right to be in the country).

If he's not got much money to his name, he'd have to find an awfully well off woman to marry, or he has no chance. It would be legally incredibly expensive to change from being an illegal to legal via marriage in country because you'd have to have an awfully good solicitor, and even with genuine marriages the chances are only 50/50. Most likely he would have to leave back to his home country and apply there, and if he was caught to have done a sham marriage, then he'd face an automatic ban to the UK of 10 years, even if he tried to re-enter on a settlement visa. So basically, this guy has very little chance.

He's not on the run if he's signing on with the HO, they will just be waiting to get his travel documentation in order to remove him.

He went to the police station and the uk border force was their waiting for him he told them that he has a child here he seems to think that because has a child here he can use that he told them that he has not got his passport he has he got it from the jamaican embassy.so he has to go and sign on every Monday and he feels that he has a good lawyer he has no rights and i cannot wait i will ring the agency in the morning and let them know what i know as i know that this guy is just here to cause distress to peoples life as he is a con artist and so convincing. the thing is he has even started to go to church.

He has got a removal order

Thanks for all your advice guys i will just get on with my life i hope that i will find some one genuine soon this was a short Sharpe shock to my system and i am hurt. i had such a lucky escape.

Expatinscotland, you said:

'if he goes to registrar office to apply to marry he has to show he has a visa valid for greater than 6 months.'

Sorry to thread hijack, but can I just ask why you said that? I was trying to find out about visa restrictions and marriage and I only found something saying you had to have over a month left on a visa (and they can, of course, refuse you the certificate of approval anyway). But six months?

(Sorry, I know this is by-the-bye as the OP's partner has no legal residency status, but it's made me panic!)

OP - he sounds like a nasty piece of work to me, love. Sorry you got hurt.

you have to be on a visa that is initially greater than 6 months OR a fiance visa (which would be granted in the applicant's country of origin (although some asylum seekers or people in appeal status may be exempted). or people coming here to say, get married in a castle with no plans to settle in the UK.

in other words, you can't get married on a tourist visa anymore.

you used to be able to. i did years ago.

yes, bump, i know it's a removal order, but half the time this sort of stuff just confuses a lot of people (like yesterday when there was a person on here with a question about the British nationality of their child . . . ).

and anyway, it's now a well-known scam, large-scale enough to make into a BBC show, when people like this one go to the registry office with some lituanian gal who doesn't speak english and tries to get a marriage license.

Oh, I see. 6 months total. Whew!

My partner has a 3-year visa which runs out next January, and we're getting married less than 6 months before it runs out. That was why I was worried!

But yes, it is a pretty well-known scam. I just don't know how hard it is if you're genuine, and had a bit of a scare there.

Thanks for the info!

it's a rule designed to stop people coming in on visitor visas and get married, Little.

you used to be able to do that AND change your status without leaving the UK.

and it was free!