Have namechanged because I have a feeling the dcs have been bandying my chat name around (with their friends' mums!).
I love my husband dearly, and I love our family. We are a happy family I would say but there are some quite major problems that I have been speaking to dh about for a couple of years and he hears what I am saying but does not listen.
The root of our problem is based around the fact that we hardly ever see each other. This is due to the fact that I work regular hours and he doesn't. A lot of his work is done in the evenings. Last week, for example, I saw him on Monday night and that was it.
About a year ago, I told him this wasn't sustainable, that we couldn't see each other so little. He agreed and we came up with a plan whereby he would either quit his job and take another one with similar hours to mine or he would give it up altogether and do something from home. Neither of these things has happened and I'm pretty sure his suggestion of these things was mere lip service. In fact, today I asked him how he was progressing with either and he said 'you've got to be joking, I'm not even thinking about those options for at least another few years'.
Well I can't carry on in this marriage for another few years when I'm seeing him so little. What frustrates me even more is that I have to travel for work but have put my foot down and said I won't do it any more because this results in us seeing even less of each other (and obviously the children not seeing us together at all!). I have one trip I have to make but I arranged with work that he and the children could come (as it's a great location for a holiday and I would take a few days off) and now dh is saying he doesn't want to come because it's a long way away and I will be working for most of the time so what's the point . Well the point was we'd all be together for a lot of the time.
I just can't get where he is coming from. He loves his job, I get that, but it is killing our marriage and our family life seeing each other so little.
I told him I would quit my job tomorrow but doing that plunges us into financial uncertainty as I earn almost double what he does and pay all the bills/childcare etc. so it makes absolutely no financial sense me doing this.
He loves me, I know he does. But he will not LISTEN and believe the damage this is doing. How do I get through to him without something drastic like leaving which I don't want to do?